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CPW: What do you do when someone makes a false assumption about how you will deliver or parent?

2redtulips2redtulips member
edited May 2014 in Pregnant after a Loss
If someone assumes you will or will not do something labor or baby related (natural childbirth, feeding, diapering, sleeping arrangements, etc.), what do you do?

_______________________________________________________________________
First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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CPW: What do you do when someone makes a false assumption about how you will deliver or parent? 65 votes

Ignore, nod and smile
38% 25 votes
Correct them and say "actually, I/we plan to..."
44% 29 votes
Roll your eyes and sigh
0% 0 votes
Go into a long explanation about why their assumption is wrong and why you made the decision you made
3% 2 votes
Karate chop him/her and blame it on the hormones
7% 5 votes
SS
6% 4 votes
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Re: CPW: What do you do when someone makes a false assumption about how you will deliver or parent?

  • classicstar28classicstar28 member
    I naturally over-explain things when people assume something about me that is incorrect.  It's a thing I'm trying to curb since it's often unneeded and causes more issues than just ignoring them.  However, I haven't had this happen with pregnancy except the other day my SIL surprised me when she said she was happy to hear we are vaccinating our child.  For some reason she seemed to think we weren't going to.  DH and I kind of flipped out on her because a) we don't know why she would think that and b) either way it's not any of her business.
    Me- 29, DH - 28
    BFP #1 9/27/2013, EDD 6/10/2014, Mmc 11/01/2013, completed with misoprostol 11/8/2013
    BFP #2 2/5/2014, EDD 10/15/2014, Lillian Verletta born 10/23/14
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  • carlsonbaby2014carlsonbaby2014 member
    Hawkward said:
    It depends on the issue and the person. If it's someone I'm close to or something I feel strongly about, I'll give an explanation. If it's not, I'll just go with whatever they say so they'll shut up. 
    This is totally me.  If I assess the situation and conclude it's not worth my time and/or energy to explain, I let it slide and do the nod and move on thing.  Otherwise, I would correct and explain briefly.
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
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  • megbmegmegbmeg member
    classicstar28 said:
    I naturally over-explain things when people assume something about me that is incorrect.  It's a thing I'm trying to curb since it's often unneeded and causes more issues than just ignoring them.  However, I haven't had this happen with pregnancy except the other day my SIL surprised me when she said she was happy to hear we are vaccinating our child.  For some reason she seemed to think we weren't going to.  DH and I kind of flipped out on her because a) we don't know why she would think that and b) either way it's not any of her business.
    I know I'm wading into some dangerous waters here, but apparently I can't help myself. I with you that most parenting decisions are totally not your SIL's business, but I think vaccinating might be a shared concern. Here's why I was thinking this - my cousin did not vaccinate her school age kids and she does a home school co-op with other non-vaccinating families. For that reason, when I have a baby who is too young to be vaccinated, I don't want her kids to hang out with baby. Just seems too risky to me. 
    Baby GIRL born 12/11/14!!
    MC @ 8 wks 7/6/13 - ectopic @ 6 wks 12/28/13

     In loving memory of sweet baby HP, and all our angel babies. Forever in our hearts.image 
     
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  • classicstar28classicstar28 member
    @megbmeg l will clarify. SIL and I do not get along well. Mostly I was shocked that she thought we wouldn't vaccinate our children since it seems so obvious to me that we will. It came up in passing at lunch. She didnt ask us or anything. I said something about vaccinations and she said "oh good. You are vaccinating you kids." But, to me, she has zero say in my decisions about my children. She doesn't have children so no concerns with that. I'm the first in both our families. I will say that I'm all for family input from other family members like my mom or my brother who is a physiologist and his wife who is a molecular biologist. People whose opinions I respect in these kinds of matters.
    Me- 29, DH - 28
    BFP #1 9/27/2013, EDD 6/10/2014, Mmc 11/01/2013, completed with misoprostol 11/8/2013
    BFP #2 2/5/2014, EDD 10/15/2014, Lillian Verletta born 10/23/14
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  • 2redtulips2redtulips member
    Qfrump said:
    SS 

    Stare blankly and search for snacks.
    I change my answer to this one, too. I said nod and smile, but this is actually closer to what I do. :)

    _______________________________________________________________________
    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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  • amwangelamwangel member
    MOST people? I just smile and nod. Or lie. 

    About where the baby slept, about how much he slept, etc etc. Unless they really cared and weren't just making small talk and/or going to lecture me. 

    A

    2010: son born 9/1 

    2013: 2 miscarriages + d&cs, both at 10 weeks: April & July

    2014: son #2 born 6/29

    2016: Baby girl stillborn at 21w6d 4/29 and baby boy stillborn at 20w 3d 11/16

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