Insanely jealous of pregnant women

kjord001 · May 2014

Hello everyone! I am new to the site my husband and I have been ttc for 5 months . There is no other way to say it other than I am extremely jealous of pregnant women. In the past 5 days I have found out that 3 friends are pregnant and some random girl I met through work. I am genuinely happy for all of them but at to the same time don't know how to continue smiling. Just wondering how you all get through your days without breaking down in tears everyday?

jnnfrrose6 · May 2014

Um, get over it? You're hyper aware of anything to do with pregnancy once you decide you're ready to start TTC. Getting insanely jealous of other women being pregnant (whether you're also "happy for them") is a waste of your energy. Also, unless they've talked to you about it, you don't know what journey they went through to get there. 5 months isn't that long in the grand scheme of things.

sandrabrooke · May 2014

When I look at other pregnant women I make sure to realize that it takes a lot of time to get pregnant sometimes and not everyone has the same circumstances!

Best of luck!

[Deleted User] · May 2014

It's only been 5 months for you. It's been 4 years for me. I understand what it's like to really want a baby in your belly but chill out. When it starts to get to me I usually get drunk and eat sushi. That fixes most problems in my life.

Don't concentrate so much on not being KU. Find a project or something that you can work on for your family. We're remodeling parts of our house. It could be something big like that or something small like learning to knit. It could also be a personal development thing. I'm working on not being a flaming bitch. I think that will make me a better parent when it does happen. Stuff like that helps me keep my mind off other women and focus on my own family.

When all else fails go back to booze. That always works.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

Whitney101411 said:

They could have been trying for a while too..

The OP has only been trying for 5 months. Or are you talking about someone else and I'm just confused?

Jags8 · May 2014

guiltypleasures said:

Whitney101411 said:

They could have been trying for a while too..

The OP has only been trying for 5 months. Or are you talking about someone else and I'm just confused?

I'm pretty sure Whitney was telling OP that those pregnant women she is seeing could have been trying for a long time.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

@Whitney11411 I see...Yep. I totally understand. I know people will think the same about us. Nobody knows that we've been trying this long. We're young and outwardly healthy. People will think that DH just dropped his pants and I got pregnant. You never know another person's struggle.

Twinkie0612 · May 2014

wickedsugar said:

NariaDreaming said:

1) It can take a healthy couple up to a year to get pregnant.
2) Just remind yourself that there's no baby quota, and that their pregnancies have nothing to do with your fertility
3) Pick up a new hobby or two to keep your mind off of it
What she said, and if you are having such strong feelings, a bit of therapy may be helpful..

I agree with the above. If you are really having feelings of "insane jealousy" definitely see a therapist.

CallMeShoes · May 2014

I guess I just don't really understand insane, pervasive jealousy.

I think every so often, it's normal to get pangs of "must be nice" when someone has something you want, but I think letting that emotion overtake you is abnormal and unhealthy. You don't know how long that couple tried to get pregnant. You don't know if they have previously miscarried, or will miscarry this one. You don't know if that baby will be born healthy. And even if all of those things are true, you don't know if they're suffering some other horrible misfortune, which you are not.

I don't think I've ever met someone who has never suffered a misfortune at one time or another. I've found that some people are just infinitely better at hiding it than others. It's really easy to compare lives with someone when you have little to no knowledge of their real problems.

Bottom line: Stop letting jealousy overtake you. Just because someone has achieved pregnancy when you have not yet does not mean you should necessarily envy them. Play the hand you're dealt, and play it with a modicum of sensitivity and self awareness.

silverandgray · May 2014

Nicb13 said:

I think therapy is an over the top suggestion but if you are crying a lot or everyday, then you need to get your mind off babies and pregnancy. Stay off HERE, stop focusing on a baby and get a hobby. Oh, drink a lot. I love that suggestion.

This is pretty much what I think, as well. When you're describing an emotion as insane, it sounds like you are letting it control you and that's not healthy. Try to engage in activities you enjoy, and don't dwell on what you don't have. Any baby news you hear from friends and acquaintances is just that: their news. It doesn't affect your chances of getting pregnant. Good luck as you keep trying TTC... five months is totally within the normal range of how long it can take a healthy couple.

VirgoWife · May 2014

Welcome newbie! A word of warning...thebump message boards are not where you go when you want sympathy, because 99% of the time you will get really rude responses ( I found that out the hard way!). I feel the same way. I have been TTC my first for 9 months and it seems like every other day someone else is announcing their pregnancy! I wish I had advice to make you feel better...

Actually, like someone else above mentioned, I find sushi and wine are an amazing medicine! Good luck! I just know it will happen for you!

Jags8 · May 2014

VirgoWife said:

Welcome newbie! A word of warning...thebump message boards are not where you go when you want sympathy, because 99% of the time you will get really rude responses ( I found that out the hard way!). I feel the same way. I have been TTC my first for 9 months and it seems like every other day someone else is announcing their pregnancy! I wish I had advice to make you feel better...

Actually, like someone else above mentioned, I find sushi and wine are an amazing medicine! Good luck! I just know it will happen for you!

Nope actually @VirgoWife, just don't post rude drive-bys of your pregnancy announcement, don't be dumb, and this is a GREAT place for support. You have to give support to get support. Now stop white-knighting and move on.

VirgoWife · May 2014

Fairy Dust!!! XOXO

Jags8 · May 2014

VirgoWife said:

Fairy Dust!!! XOXO

JFC

catahoulatte · May 2014

VirgoWife said:

Welcome newbie! A word of warning...thebump message boards are not where you go when you want sympathy, because 99% of the time you will get really rude responses ( I found that out the hard way!). I feel the same way. I have been TTC my first for 9 months and it seems like every other day someone else is announcing their pregnancy! I wish I had advice to make you feel better...

Actually, like someone else above mentioned, I find sushi and wine are an amazing medicine! Good luck! I just know it will happen for you!

I'm being 100% serious here-do you legitimately have some multiple personalities going on?

WestCoastGirl05 · May 2014

VirgoWife said:

Fairy Dust!!! XOXO

I can't be the only one with an extreme urge to vomit all over her "fairy dust" right?

[Deleted User] · May 2014

WestCoastGirl05 said:

VirgoWife said:

Fairy Dust!!! XOXO

I can't be the only one with an extreme urge to vomit all over her "fairy dust" right?

No. No you're not.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

DeAnnaP81 · May 2014

Welcome! Finally, somebody else feels my pain! My husband & I also have been TTC for the past 5 months. My OB decided to put me on Clomid in hopes that would help the chances of a pregnancy. Sounds crazy to give me Clomid, for I already ovulate naturally(if unaware Clomid is given to women who don't ovulate at all.) again, it's so each month I release both eggs instead of just one. No Bruno thus far. I'm giving it another month before I go back to my OB, and ask about IUI(Intrauterian Incemination). Good luck to you! Try not to be jealous, easier said then done. I know!!

CallMeShoes · May 2014

Shocker929 said:

Welcome! Finally, somebody else feels my pain! My husband & I also have been TTC for the past 5 months. My OB decided to put me on Clomid in hopes that would help the chances of a pregnancy. Sounds crazy to give me Clomid, for I already ovulate naturally(if unaware Clomid is given to women who don't ovulate at all.) again, it's so each month I release both eggs instead of just one. No Bruno thus far. I'm giving it another month before I go back to my OB, and ask about IUI(Intrauterian Incemination). Good luck to you! Try not to be jealous, easier said then done. I know!!

Is it absolutely awful of me to say that I bet your doctor was the dude who graduated last in his med school class?

DebateThis · May 2014

Whitney101411 said:

Shocker929 said:

Welcome! Finally, somebody else feels my pain! My husband & I also have been TTC for the past 5 months. My OB decided to put me on Clomid in hopes that would help the chances of a pregnancy. Sounds crazy to give me Clomid, for I already ovulate naturally(if unaware Clomid is given to women who don't ovulate at all.) again, it's so each month I release both eggs instead of just one. No Bruno thus far. I'm giving it another month before I go back to my OB, and ask about IUI(Intrauterian Incemination). Good luck to you! Try not to be jealous, easier said then done. I know!!

TBH if I would have seen this my first few months of trying I would have freaked out.. This is ridiculous. This is NOT something you do 5 months in.

Agreed. But I smell a whole lotta mud with this one: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/8478871/having-trouble-getting-pregnate#latest

There are some really REALLY stupid people in the world.

CallMeShoes · May 2014

Face*palm

sandrabrooke · May 2014

Oh my word....seriously....apparently time does not heal all

samsofia · May 2014

Its so Normal to feel that way. You just need to know eventually you will make it happen and it takes a while. I was reading a article on EDITED that said it can take up to a year before doctors will look into other issues. and even then it can just be your body taking a bit longer.

***edited for spam***

CallMeShoes · May 2014

NariaDreaming said:

samsofia said:

Its so Normal to feel that way. You just need to know eventually you will make it happen and it takes a while. I was reading a article on [EDITED] that said it can take up to a year before doctors will look into other issues. and even then it can just be your body taking a bit longer.

Um, no. you don't know if anyone will ever get pregnant. There is no guarantee in life- I know plenty of women whose journey to motherhood has unfortunately come to a close. They are out of options, financial resources, and strength to face another heartbreak.

Even with the advances in medicine, you cannot will yourself pregnant.

Wait, so you mean you can't will miracles to happen? Does this mean I can't will myself to win the lottery? Because I've had my fingers, toes, and labia crossed for years, and that still hasn't happened...

silverandgray · May 2014

Whitney101411 said:

b0710 said:

samsofia said:

Its so Normal to feel that way. You just need to know eventually you will make it happen and it takes a while. I was reading a article on [EDITED] that said it can take up to a year before doctors will look into other issues. and even then it can just be your body taking a bit longer.

Seriously, more references?!?! Stop already. People are on this site because they want to be.

All 7 5 of her posts reference that cite! I tried to search her name on that site and came up with nothing. At this point, I see it as spam.

ETA: Numbers are hard.

Yeah... now that you mention it, that's pretty suspect.

Meery82 · May 2014

CallMeShoes said:

NariaDreaming said:

samsofia said:

Its so Normal to feel that way. You just need to know eventually you will make it happen and it takes a while. I was reading a article on [EDITED] that said it can take up to a year before doctors will look into other issues. and even then it can just be your body taking a bit longer.

Um, no. you don't know if anyone will ever get pregnant. There is no guarantee in life- I know plenty of women whose journey to motherhood has unfortunately come to a close. They are out of options, financial resources, and strength to face another heartbreak.

Even with the advances in medicine, you cannot will yourself pregnant.

Wait, so you mean you can't will miracles to happen? Does this mean I can't will myself to win the lottery? Because I've had my fingers, toes, and labia crossed for years, and that still hasn't happened...

LOL

Insanely jealous of pregnant women

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