Baby Showers

Ettiquette question

My Aunt on my mom's side very nicely offered to have my shower and she asked for a list of my "friends".  Do I give her  DH family also or does it just stick to my side?  I feel bad because if I give her a list of everyone it turns out to be a lot of people but I don't want to not include them and I doubt my DH's side is planning a shower.  Is it normal to have a joint family shower?

TIA!

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: Ettiquette question

  • I think most people, unless they're having more than one shower, have joint family showers. Considering it's supposed to be celebrating the baby that you AND your DH made, I would think his family should be included.?

    You could always give her the full list, and if she mentions that it's a lot of people, you could cut out the least necessary. Leave off some aunts or cousins, but make sure mom/sisters are included. ?

    Contemplating the snow.
    image
    Mes Petit Choux
    imageimageimage
    I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • How lovely of your aunt to offer!  Ask her to tell you what size guest list she's expecting - that right there will ensure that the guest list you provide doesn't exceed the space and budget she has available.

    Showers are largely regional.  Here in the South it's common for several people to offer to host different showers, and the guest list at each is rarely more than 15 - 20 people.  In the northeast I've heard of enormous showers of 40+ guests.

    As for your ILs, it's customary to invite - at the very least - your MIL.  If your DH has sisters, I'd invite them, too.

  • Loading the player...
  • Roxy, enormous showers of 40+, you are going to think I'm insane. My wedding shower was joint, and I had just one put on by the bridal party, there were 125 people. My sisters & MIL are currently debating to once again haveone large shower or seperate it into 2 smaller ones (still probably 50-60 at each!)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I think it would be a good idea to ask the host for the number of people she expects or can accomodate and then make a list based on that.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I think you should ask her about how many people she was expecting to host first.   Based on where she's holding it, what her budget it, etc.  Then go from there.  if she's thinking 30, lets say, and including his family would make it 60 - then you don't include them.


    If anyone on his side were to ask about a shower, all that has to be said is that one is being thrown but the host could only invite ___ people and you all weren't ab le to include his entire family.  from there- if one of them wants to step up and throw one, they can.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I agreed with some of the comments posted - you should ask your aunt what her limit is for the shower.  That way, when you get an idea, you can discuss the situation with your DH.  He should have a say as to who to invite to the baby shower.  You should also take into consideration of RSVPs.  Some people may be able to make it and some may not.  If those that can't make it, you can fill their spot with someone else. 
  • Suggestion: You shouldn't split up the families!  

    I would ask how many people she is expecting.  Then work from that.  Would it help if you did a friend and family one seperate? 

    I think we are going to have to do a family shower and then a friend (co-ed) shower.  I did that for my bridal shower and it turned out great.  Plus my family lives an hour away from me and it was easier to have the shower at my moms.  My friends won't want to travel that far that's for sure.  So we will do something local at a friends house or a pizza place (where the guys have unlimited beer and snacks). 

  • I'd ask your aunt if she just wanted your friends and your side of the family.  If that is all she can handle then that will be the shower.  If your DH's side wants to have a shower they will.  You could also let MIL know that the shower is only for friends and your family because that is all your Aunt could handle and hope that his side will understand.  Maybe she'll put the word out...or host one for her side herself.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"