Working Moms

FMLA Sharing

My husband and I work for the same company. I called HR today to ask about FMLA and my benefits and found out that because we are married, if my husband take paternity leave, it will count against my 12 weeks of FMLA. So if he wants to take the max paternity that he can take (3 weeks) it brings me down to only 9 weeks at home with baby. Has anyone else had to deal with this? How did you work it out?
(DH is on the way home from a work trip so I haven't broke it to him yet).
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Re: FMLA Sharing

  • I'm in the same situation, we both teach in the same district. My husband took off 4 days, worked 1, took off 4 more, and then went back. So he was home for most of 2 weeks and I still got my 12. The district also granted him unpaid time off. My leave ended this week, and he's home for the last 6 weeks of the school year. FMLA is just the minimum, so it doesn't hurt to ask for more time (especially if it's unpaid anyway)
  • eyenigheyenigh member
    Yes, my husband and I had this issue, too. He ended up just taking vacation time for two weeks and I took the FMLA. I particularly needed it because I had a health issue earlier in the year that already ate into my bank. The sharing business was a surprise to us, too.
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  • Yes, DH and I work for the same university. DH used vacation days while I was in the hospital and a day or two at home. He ended up not taking parental leave. But it would have been nice if he had taken it after my leave ended.

    My brother and SIL both work for federal government. My brother took 4 weeks of vacation when his first son was born, since he couldn't take parental leave then.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • I had no idea FMLA worked like that - thanks for sharing, and I'm sorry to hear that. That's definitely something for DH & I to bare in mind since we work in similar fields and it's very plausible we could have the same employer one day. 

    @emberlee3 - he couldn't take parental leave because there is no such thing in the fed gov. We have sick leave and annual leave (=vacation). Under FMLA, we can take leave without pay with job protection, and we can sub the unpaid leave under FMLA for any sick or annual we have accumulated. But there's no special leave category available related to the birth of a child and there's no STD. It's kind of embarassing, IMO. 
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  • SpeshulSpeshul member
    Wow, I cannot believe it works like this. That is awful.


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  • @cecilyandgautam‌ oh yes, now I remember. Part of my salary is paid by the VA, so I had to do FMLA through the gov., too.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • I did get to talk to DH after he got back from his trip and he said he has plenty of PTO and would just take Vacation days and not report it as FMLA so I could have my full 12 weeks. I think the policy still stinks and will be pointing it out in the employee engagement survey the company sends out each year.
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  • ricekezricekez member
    Yep, I had to deal with this, too. DH took vacation time only so that he wouldn't reduce my FMLA. He made a real stink with HR to let them know how much the policy sucks.

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  • I'm remembering one of the reasons I left federal service! DH just took 3 weeks of sick leave (he works for a military component). When he returned, one of his coworkers was saying my 6 weeks of paid leave was terrible, and he pointed out to her that for women in their office who hadn't had time to accrue leave, they got NO paid time off to have a baby. That's just disgraceful, in my book. I can take 12 unpaid weeks after my STD is up, and our company doesn't pool FMLA for families where both spouses work for us.
  • If you ask me companies who inforce it, mine included, would more than likely have no leave at all if it was not for the forced law.  One thing to think about you mention paternity leave is he paid for that out of a differnt bucket?  If so, you may want him to take it assuming you are not paid for full 12 weeks.  If he takes it talk to your manager who may be fine with you taking 9 FMLA and then extending with vacation or upaid.  I know in my company as long as manager is okay with it they are okay with it.  FMLA only protects your job in the event they were not laying off anyway and my boss would not eliminate my job due to a couple extra weeks if I was impacted by this rule since the plan was for 12 weeks orgionally.  If he can save his PTO that is a good thing babies in daycare are sick often the first year.

     

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  • I agree that if the FMLA didn't contain some provision about paternity leave, then companies who enforce the sharing rule wouldn't grant it at all.

    Our company enforces this and would scratch their heads at a guy taking FMLA protected paternity leave period.

    My H (who works for a different employer than me) is currently taking 4 weeks off with this LO and he took 4 weeks off with our DS. In both situations we stacked our leaves so that I would only be taking leave that is covered by our company's STD policy, but LO would still get extra time in our care before starting in a DC center.

     People are SHOCKED that he is taking this time off and ask him all the time "your company allows paternity leave?" Um...it's mandated under FMLA! The only remaining issue is, is this going to be paid or not. There is no STD pay available to him, but his PTO either doesn't max out or maxes out at a really high level so this is what he uses during his job protected leave.

    But I guess the rationale for the sharing rule is they want to protect a company from loosing 24 weeks of time for 1 baby, since FMLA leave can be taken any time during the first year, which enables two parents to stack their leave if they work for 2 different companies. But it definitely puts families working for 1 employer at a disadvantage. 

    By the way, the same rule applies for caring for a sick relative.


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