Breast feeding.

angelamarie11 · May 2014

So I know that breast feeding can be a touchy subject but I have a question for any second time moms. With my first child I tried everything under the sun to breast feed but it just wasn't in the cards for me. I tried pumping, saw a lactation consultant, took supplements, and many other things but I never made more than 2 ounces so I bottle fed instead. I was very disappointed and sad that I wasn't able to breast feed and it made me feel like a bad mother at first. My husband and I are ready to try and get pregnant with our second child and I was wondering if any mother out there had trouble the first time around but success with the second child. I hope that I am able to breast feed my second but a little part of me feels that I would feel guilty for breast feeding my second but was unable with my first. I look forward to reading your responses! Thanks for reading!

SandyClam · May 2014

My milk never really came in and I did everything possible to make it happen but my body just wouldn't produce. I have heard that one of the few things that causes a woman not to be able to produce is a thyroid issue. Maybe talk to your doctor about getting your thyroid checked?

All that said, I've heard stories of many women, (my mother included), that couldn't produce with her first and was able to with subsequent children. Good luck and congratulations.

RondackHiker · May 2014

I'm sorry you went through so much stress with your first!

I haven't been in your position but I know some women who could nurse one child but not another for various reasons. If you want that, I hope that's true for you!

And please, don't feel any guilt. You fed and loved and cared for your baby. That's what matters.

jorkz821 · May 2014

With my first, I had to supplement. She developed a preference for the bottle so only bf'd for 6 months (not exclusively). This one is almost 8 months exclusively bf'd with no supply issues like last time.

Please don't feel guilty about feeding your baby in any way you can. Good luck!

minervacullen · May 2014

My advice, if you really want to give a go, is to exclusively nurse as often as posible. Drink lots of water and eat plenty, like gorge. I have PCOS and it's common for women to have supply issues with it. With my first I had to eventually supplement because I worked and couldn't pump enough, so he nursed with me and got formula while away. No buggy. With DD I wasn't working, I'm still nursing at almost 18 months.
Get in touch with a lactation consultant, join kellymom on FB and their website.

If the time comes and it doesn't happen, so be it. There are loads of resources and many mothers that can help you if that's what you want.

PrimRoseMama · May 2014

"My husband and I are ready to try and get pregnant with our second child and I was wondering if any mother out there had trouble the first time around but success with the second child?"

@angelamarie11‌ : I tried everything possible to maintain my supply with DD & my breasts just wouldn't cooperate. Add the emotional toll & feeling like a cruddy mom because my breasts weren't doing "what they were supposed to". I had to throw in the towel to save my sanity.

With DS I felt more prepared & again was ready to wage war to make my breasts behave themselves. Fortunately, I had over supply & DS was a ravenous beast at the boob. It worked out beautifully for us this time. I've had little dips but nothing like the first time. I have no idea what the difference is.

I hope you have a similar experience because that is what you want. I want to tell you though, if BF doesn't work out the second time it doesn't make you any less. You love your child & are feeding them with love no matter how it gets done. Formula is wonderful & nourishing too. What matters is that you do what speaks to your heart, works for your family & keeps you sane.

Good luck TFAS & fingers crossed that you get what you need from either method of feeding when the time arrives. :x

Smootchy · May 2014

I had an over supply with my first, made so much milk I was spoiled rotten. When my second came and I didn't produce hardly any, I didn't even think that was possible. It was very difficult for me. In the end I have 2 beautiful, happy & healthy kids. So I got over not being able to breastfeed one. To answer your question yes, you can have 2 totally different experiences. Good luck!

FalconCrest · May 2014

I had three completely different breastfeeding experiences.

With my first, everything went pretty much according to plan. It was easy, with the exception of the first two weeks. Then I went back to work 6 months post partum and I have never been able to produce much with the pump, so I started supplementing with formula.

With my second, I had a whole slew of issues. I had PPD, OAL, oversupply and a refluxing baby that was constantly starving. I started supplementing with formula when he was about two weeks old.

My third baby tore my poor nipples to shreds for the first three weeks, but after that was my easiest and happiest nurser. With the other two, I quit nursing around 9 months, but the baby was just weaned about 2 weeks ago, right after her first birthday.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and please let go of the guilt. As long as the baby is being fed, you are doing it right.

LucilleAustero · May 2014

My daughter was born with health issues and my stress and her being in the hospital and such, really dried me up early. I took reglan, fenugrrek, ate so many of those lactation cookies, nothing worked. Between doc appts, the hospital, I didn't eat enough, drink enough and my milk was gone.

23 weeks pregnant with #2 and I am hoping to get to six months with this one. Mom guilt can be terrible, but the great thing is we only ahve good options. Formula and breastmilk, both fantastic for the baby and provide them with what they need. I hope it works out for you this time, but if it does not, we have good options.

Ardmhs83 · May 2014

I'm not in your exact situation, but can offer some advice. Nurse right away and often. As I'm sure you already know, breastfeeding is supply and demand. The first several weeks are very demanding and difficult. Don't offer any formula and keep on nursing. Baby will want to nurse constantly and that is totally normal, allow it. Even one bottle of formula can mess with your supply. If you need rest and decide to give a bottle, pump to replace that feeding. Try not to give a bottle until the baby is about 4 weeks old. We cup fed or syringe fed pumped milk when I did need a bit of a break. However, I typically just nursed b/c I thought it was just easier to nurse than to set the pump up. If you are having difficulties with latch in the hospital get an IBCLC to check it out. Could just be a simple fix or could have a tongue or lip-tie. Most breastfeeding problems can be fixed if you hook up with the right person to get correct information. Most women think their nurses and pediatricians can help, but most of them are not that knowledgeable when it comes to nursing. They may know the basics, but you need to reach out to the pros. Also start looking up where your local LLL is and attend a meeting. The ladies are very helpful and free, unlike an IBCLC. A great book is, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

Have faith in your body...you can do it!! Don't beat yourself up about your first LO.

Good luck!

SandyClam · May 2014

Ardmhs83 said:

I'm not in your exact situation, but can offer some advice. Nurse right away and often. As I'm sure you already know, breastfeeding is supply and demand. The first several weeks are very demanding and difficult. Don't offer any formula and keep on nursing. Baby will want to nurse constantly and that is totally normal, allow it. Even one bottle of formula can mess with your supply. If you need rest and decide to give a bottle, pump to replace that feeding. Try not to give a bottle until the baby is about 4 weeks old. We cup fed or syringe fed pumped milk when I did need a bit of a break. However, I typically just nursed b/c I thought it was just easier to nurse than to set the pump up. If you are having difficulties with latch in the hospital get an IBCLC to check it out. Could just be a simple fix or could have a tongue or lip-tie. Most breastfeeding problems can be fixed if you hook up with the right person to get correct information. Most women think their nurses and pediatricians can help, but most of them are not that knowledgeable when it comes to nursing. They may know the basics, but you need to reach out to the pros. Also start looking up where your local LLL is and attend a meeting. The ladies are very helpful and free, unlike an IBCLC. A great book is, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

Have faith in your body...you can do it!! Don't beat yourself up about your first LO.

Good luck!

These are words from someone who has never had a body that will not produce for you regardless of what you do. Next time, just try harder. The first time you just didn't want it bad enough. I don't think that you meant to be offensive but this is like saying that you just didn't try hard enough the first time and it adds to shame and guilt that it was something that the mother did wrong rather than her body just didn't cooperate.

bumpuser1691848 · May 2014

Like @sandyclam said, get your thyroid checked. I wasn't able to produce any milk with DD because of hypothyroidism (unknown at the time), even though I tried everything possible. I was able to BF DS for 8 months, although I did have to start supplementing after about 6 months.

Good luck with the next go around.

LnR70707 · May 2014

I had very low supply for a few reasons (preemie, retained placenta, not prepared to pump) and supplemented with formula and primarily pumped for 13 months. The first 6 months I wanted to quit almost every day, by the time I hit 8 months it was ok.

With DD, I was prepared to pump (particularly since PTL scares started at 24 weeks) but overall it was much easier. Despite making term, she also landed in the NICU, but we were able to do skin to skin and spend the first 10hrs together. She had an NG tube for the next 12 hrs, so I had to pump every 2 hrs and my milk was slow to come in so I actually ended giving myself an oversupply, which in turn hid the fact that DD was tongue tied and had some transfer issues (basically got too little per session) so I did end up needing to pump and supplement from about 5 months on, but it is only whatever side she doesn't nurse on in the morning and before I go to bed, so not bad at all. If it weren't for the tie and the NICU stay, this round through would have been complication free.

MrsT0514 · May 2014

I will just echo what everyone else has said about not feeling guilty with the method of feeding, no matter if its BFi ng, or FFing, or both. As long as your baby is fed, thats what matters.

With my first, we found out I more than likely may have a structural issue (breast hypoplasia, suspected by the LC, but not actually diagnosed), meaning I have a limited amount of actual milk ducts in my breasts, which in turn means major supply issues. i went through emotional hell trying to produce for my son, and it just wasnt happening. He also ended up being milk protein intolerant, so once we got him on the right formula, life was so much easier.

Now that I'm pregnant with #2, I'm debating on whether or not I want to even put myself through the mental guilt trip of even trying to BF. So idk. We'll see. But my point is, as long as your baby is fed, no one should fault you for the method you choose.

Ardmhs83 · May 2014

SandyClam said:

Ardmhs83 said:

I'm not in your exact situation, but can offer some advice. Nurse right away and often. As I'm sure you already know, breastfeeding is supply and demand. The first several weeks are very demanding and difficult. Don't offer any formula and keep on nursing. Baby will want to nurse constantly and that is totally normal, allow it. Even one bottle of formula can mess with your supply. If you need rest and decide to give a bottle, pump to replace that feeding. Try not to give a bottle until the baby is about 4 weeks old. We cup fed or syringe fed pumped milk when I did need a bit of a break. However, I typically just nursed b/c I thought it was just easier to nurse than to set the pump up. If you are having difficulties with latch in the hospital get an IBCLC to check it out. Could just be a simple fix or could have a tongue or lip-tie. Most breastfeeding problems can be fixed if you hook up with the right person to get correct information. Most women think their nurses and pediatricians can help, but most of them are not that knowledgeable when it comes to nursing. They may know the basics, but you need to reach out to the pros. Also start looking up where your local LLL is and attend a meeting. The ladies are very helpful and free, unlike an IBCLC. A great book is, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

Have faith in your body...you can do it!! Don't beat yourself up about your first LO.

Good luck!

These are words from someone who has never had a body that will not produce for you regardless of what you do. Next time, just try harder. The first time you just didn't want it bad enough. I don't think that you meant to be offensive but this is like saying that you just didn't try hard enough the first time and it adds to shame and guilt that it was something that the mother did wrong rather than her body just didn't cooperate.

Nothing was ever meant to be offensive at all. I'm very sorry if anyone read it that way. I was truly trying to help as much as I could. Breastfeeding is hard, we all need support. I, by no means, had a perfect breastfeeding relationship. I went through tongue-tie and lip-tie hell. I reached out for the wrong people, at first. Once I finally got proper help on what to do, things got better.

winecastle14 · May 2014

I haven't read all of the responses, but I just wanted to say that two ounces in the beginning is actually a good amount. Also, the amount you are able to pump isn't a good indicator of what the baby is able to get from you as the baby is more efficient than the pump. I'd suggest cross posting this on the BFing board. There are some very helpful posters there.

Every baby is different and encounters different nursing issues. You may be fine with this one. Don't stress! The best thing you can do is educate yourself (joining a couple of FB groups and reading the BFing board was helpful to me in addition to my own research), and then visit a lactation consultant for weighted feedings if you're having issues. Give it your best effort and then cut yourself some slack if it doesn't work out. Good luck!

LTMama · May 2014

I'm in a similar boat at the moment. DD was a preemie and couldn't nurse at first, and once she was strong enough she just wouldn't latch. I worked with 4 different lactation consultants but still couldn't get her to latch, and ended up EPing til about 3.5 months til complications after a breast biopsy led to me having to dry up. But she's 3 now and a healthy, happy kiddo, so though I initially had mommy guilt about feeding her formula, I realized that as long as she was eating and thriving, there was no reason to feel bad about it.

I plan to try BFing again with kiddo #2, but just keep reminding myself that if it doesn't work out, that's ok. This time around, I've found lactation consultants that are highly recommended and are experienced working with tough nursers, so I plan to touch base before delivery to have them ready to come visit in the hospital and get us on the right track. That might be something to consider? As long as you find someone who is knowledgeable about supply issues as well, and is realistic about supplementing when necessary.

Don't put pressure on yourself or stress about it. Formula options are excellent these days, and babies thrive on them. Just do what you need to do.

Maebb · May 2014

@angelamarie11‌, I am in a similar boat as you because I ended up supplementing with DS despite multiple attempts to up my milk supply. I had read so many well-intentioned posts on here saying to not supplement because it would hurt my supply even more, that I ended up fighting with DH and my doctor when they recommended for me to supplement. But the bottom line was that as hard as I tried, my body was not making enough milk for DS, and he needed to get fed somehow.

Like you, I'm hoping to have a better BF experience with the next baby, but I also see that DS is smart, growing, and thriving, so if the next baby needs to get some formula to supplement the milk, it will be ok. I'm hoping to have less angst and cry fewer tears about it this time around and to not feel like a failure as long as I feed the baby, whether that's with breast milk or formula. Good luck!

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