Overwhelmed with guilt

penelopemaria · May 2014

I feel very lucky that I got 5 months at home with my LO, but I'm already overwhelmed with guilt at leaving my LO, especially since he cries every time I leave.

I work far away (over 1hr commute 1 way) and I work long hours. I know that he wants me at home with him where he's happy and comfortable, and I just feel so sick about leaving him everyday.

Please tell me it gets better?

SunAndRain · May 2014

It gets better.

But if you work long hours (which is what, 10 hour days?), plus two hours commute...whew... something would have to give in my world. It WILL get easier as you adjust but I feel for you if you are gone 12 hours per day.

jlaOK · May 2014

It will get better.

Remember that you spent time choosing his child care wisely and have done everything in your power to make sure he is happy and healthy. Whether you work because you have to or work because you want to you are making a choice to provide the best life for your child.

Mom guilt is a wicked beast, but remember that it is something that we put on ourselves.

emberlee3 · May 2014

It will get better.

I worked 80 hrs/week when DS was an infant. It was hard to be away from him so much (and I only had 6 weeks maternity leave). We caught up on snuggles by BFing and bedsharing.

Kristonita12 · May 2014

I gets better! I missed her terribly, but as someone mentioned, bedsharing has really helped me feel connected still!

BabyHope2013 · May 2014

It does get better. I work 8 hour days with over an hour drive each way. I try to have quick meals for dinner and now that DS is getting older, he can "help cook" so that we still get some quality time in. Mom guilt is something that we feel because we work, our kids never really know any different.

kmh2201 · May 2014

It does get better. I changed jobs/employers when DS was 6 months old and got a better work schedule so I have one day off every two weeks. Just having that extra day has made working full time so much easier.

2-Step · May 2014

It gets better and remember that your LO is getting things out of daycare too. He is getting to see a new environment, be around other kids and eventually make friends, socialize and learn. It's not like you are sending him somewhere awful that you need to feel guilty about. Its a safe, loving place where he can thrive. I know it's really hard when they are tiny, but it will get easier, I promise!

PSU_Texan · May 2014

It gets better over time simply because they stay up longer. Then you might have the dilemma that we now have which is no time to yourself or with your DH...lol! But as they stay up longer, you really do have the time to spend. And definitely outsource anything so that your weekends aren't spent always running errands. I do think it's important for kids to see that everyday errands and chores have to get done. So don't feel like every minute with them has to be fun packed. Just being together is good. I have great memories of running errands with my working mom on the weekends.

And the crying will happen at lots of times throughout their childhood. Just remember that while they do miss you, they usually stop after 2 minutes of you leaving.

BabyMayinMarch · May 2014

It gets so much better. I went back to work when DS was 10 months, and it took a few weeks of adjusting for sure. Now he waves and says ``bye`` when we get to the dayhome and doesn`t enven care that I am gone. They love playing with others.

penelopemaria · May 2014

Thanks a lot everyone. I really appreciate - makes me feel a lot better.

mommatotwo2 · May 2014

It will get better. When LO starts getting into a daycare routine and enjoys going, you'll feel better about things. My experience is that day one is good, kind of nice to go out and be human and kiddo free for a little bit, day 2 is when reality sets in and my heart hurt for about a week or so and then things really did get easier. The long hours and long commute definitely add an extra challenge, I agree with the pp, see if you can take shorter lunches and leave work a little earlier, that will help some.