Would you take your maiden name back if you were to get divorced after having kids? (poll)

lada85 · May 2014

I was just curious to see what you all would do about your last name if you were to get divorced. Please feel free to express your thoughts

lilahbean13 · May 2014

Mine would depend on the circumstances of the divorce and the reasoning. If he did something total assholeish like cheat on me then I wouldn't wanna carry his name anymore.

britbratjf · May 2014

I would go back. My MIL kept her married name after divorcing FIL 30 years ago and they had a NASTY divorce. I always thought it was odd, more so since FIL has been remarried for like 15 years. I don't think it would even cross my mind to keep my married name.

apollonia10 · May 2014

I'd keep my married name. Changing your name is a PITA and one of the reasons I changed it in the first place was to have the same last name as my kids.

Barefoot84 · May 2014

Our provincial law prevents us from taking a married name. I like still having my father's name, but it bothers me that I don't have the same last name as my children.

lada85 · May 2014

I kept my married name because I wanted the same last name as LO. But I really do miss my maiden name a lot.

KarmB · May 2014

my mom always kept hers.

I'd like the same name as my kids. I guess it'd get tricky if I had other kids with a new hubby.

lkamenko · May 2014

I voted to keep married one because we have been married for so long it is my main identity name and it would be a major pain to change it. But if we would divorce few years after marriage I would definitely change it back to my maiden name. I loved the way it sounded and still use it sometime as a pseudo name in some chats.

lilahbean13 · May 2014

@Laurski81‌ and @ALou9785‌ does not having the same last name confuse people? I think it's cool that is something that no one here does. I don't know one person irl that kept their maiden name. I feel like I would get side eyed if I had kept my name. I did get rid of my middle name and made my maiden my middle name and I love it. But not having the same last name as your husband is unheard of in these parts.

ThePinkSuperhero · May 2014

I voted SS because DH took my last name when we got married. I would always want the same name as my kids.

reinedecajun · May 2014

I went back to my maiden name after my divorce. I did not want his name anymore

zyas · May 2014

I was married once before and after we divorced I went back to my maiden name. We didn't have kids though and if we did I'm not sure if I would have changed my name or not.

Now I actually go by both my maiden name and my new married name depending on the situation. I wrote a book a few years ago and used my maiden name so that and my website are in that name and I'll keep it that way.

ThePinkSuperhero · May 2014

PaddyB said:

@thepinksuperhero how did you guys come to that outcome? I tried (not particularly hard) to convince H to take mine, but no dice.

I didn't want to change my name and he was into changing his, simple as that, really. People always ask us why, why, why and I can never think of a better answer then, because we wanted to? :-??

aylafsu88 · May 2014

bellaxanthe said:

I still regret taking my married name. I miss my maiden name - it was so much a part of me. I'd go back in a heartbeat. And somehow I'd try and get her name to be a hyphenated one. HA!

@hijinx That is exactly why I kept my maiden name.
@bellaxathe I tried to get H to hyphanate LOs last name but he refused. I love my maiden name but I find it awkward a lot to explain to people (like other moms at DC) that I have a different last name than LO. Part of me wonders how I will explain it to her one day when she asks.

grimesk12 · May 2014

SS bc it would depend on the reason for divorce. My sis changed her last name back to maiden bc her ex is a drug addict and he has very little contact with their daughter. My niece and sis lived with us and she used to call my DH daddy. My sis has been tryin to get her ex to sign off parental rights and she'd like to legally change her daughter's last name too.

nesenotes · May 2014

I would go back to maiden. My mom kept her married name to match us supposedly. Well I'm married and my sister has been married twice so she's the only one that shares the name with my dad. Dumb.

bumpuser1509193 · May 2014

I voted ss because I never changed my name. Cooper 's nm is my ln. Honestly, it's only been an inconvenience the 2 times I've been pulled over since the registration is in H's name.
My mom didn't change her name, and their divorce was pretty ugly. I guess the memories of her maiden name weren't much better.
MIL went back and their divorce was petty civil. She has 30+ years of professional relationships that know her as her married name, so that's kinda weird.

bumpuser1509193 · May 2014

lilahbean13 said:
@Laurski81‌ and @ALou9785‌ does not having the same last name confuse people? I think it's cool that is something that no one here does. I don't know one person irl that kept their maiden name. I feel like I would get side eyed if I had kept my name. I did get rid of my middle name and made my maiden my middle name and I love it. But not having the same last name as your husband is unheard of in these parts.

It's only been an issue for me when I got pulled over since the registration is in H's name. We get a lot of mail addressed to Mr and Mrs L I'm ok with that. I think it's pretty common here in the Boston area.

lada85 · May 2014

UltraMonkey said:

lada85 said:
I kept my married name because I wanted the same last name as LO. But I really do miss my maiden name a lot.
Have you considered a hyphen so you can go by your maiden name but you'd also still have LO's last name?

I have thought about it, but I feel like I should have one or the other. I'm still on the fence on if in going to go back or not. At least I can take as much time as I want to decide. My ex was fine with me keeping his name. So that was one reason I was ok with it.

potatoe6 · May 2014

I would keep my married name, it too much of a hassle to change it, and I would like to have the same last name as DD. DS has his father's last name and it is such a pain when we travel, as the 4 of us all have the same last name and he doesn't, plus he is half St. Lucian so we get the 3rd degree when we go anywhere.

As for my "identity", I still define myself by my maiden name as there are too many traits that I have that are very similar to my brother, nephews, and DS that we know came from my dad.

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