Surrogacy...

natalie115 · May 2014

Have we talked about this before? I can't remember...

Has anybody here thought about being a surrogate? I am seriously thinking about it after we have our second child. I have been having a hard time thinking about this next pregnancy being my last pregnancy...not so much my last child, but the actual pregnancy. Obviously I'll see how this next pregancy goes, but I absolutely loved being pregnant with Wyatt...after the first 20 weeks anyway (serious morning sickness). Plus it took us a year to get pg so I have a slight taste of the frustration of wanting to start a family and not being able to. And honestly it's good money and it would be a very good thing for our family financially.

DH asked if I would have a hard time handing over the baby after carrying it and while I obviously have no idea how I'd feel, in my head I would be goin into it with a completely different mindset. Plus I don't want more then 2 kids so I almost feel like there would be a sense of relief that I wouldn't have to do the newborn stage again

Anybody else looked into this at all?

KentuckyKate · May 2014

I have a friend who is currently a gestational surrogate for a gay couple in Paris. She said they can't adopt in Europe or something... I don't remember the exact situation.

Here is her blog if you're interested.
https://embracingsurrogacy.blogspot.com/?m=1

natalie115 · May 2014

Thanks for the blog link I will definitely check it out.

The more I look into it and think about it the more feel like I am meant to do it.

momofcatan · May 2014

I would do it for a friend or relative. I had a fairly easy pregnancy and loved being pregnant. If I went into it with the mindset that the child was not mine I think I would be ok with giving the child to the parents, but it is hard to say for sure.

RedCherry1109 · May 2014

I would do it for someone who couldn't have kids! I loved being pregnant.

LaBellaVida · May 2014

I have thought about it, but I think I'd only be able to do it for a family member. It takes a special person to be a surrogate.

riansmommie · May 2014

After this pregnancy I will be donating my eggs for 5 cycles. We still aren't done having kids yet though, but after we have our last one, if I still feel the same way I do about it now, I will def be going the surrogacy route.

kh59 · May 2014

majwv8 said:

araziza said:

I would do it for a friend or relative. I had a fairly easy pregnancy and loved being pregnant. If I went into it with the mindset that the child was not mine I think I would be ok with giving the child to the parents, but it is hard to say for sure.

this is me too.

+1

phishgirl29 · May 2014

I have a hard enough time creating my own kids.

That being said, I've done IVF and taken the drugs before and would love to carry for a close friend or family member. No one in my life right now is in need so it won't be happening.

singahappysong · May 2014

I couldn't do it emotionally. Knowing that the baby I'm growing isn't going to be mine..... Yeah, I just couldn't. No matter how desperate the person might be. I'd sure as heck couldn't do it for someone I know, or someone who'd ieven risk seeing again in my life. That might be selfish, but it's how I'd feel. If anyone can do it, I'm all for it cuz that gives hope for those who need a surrogate. They deserve a huge reward.

needanustart · May 2014

I love, love, love being pregnant. It makes me so sad DH only wants two and the Idea of not being pregnant again makes me want to cry. I know we can probably only handle 2 financially, so I plan on seriously looking into surrogacy.
I have donated my eggs twice and I feel really uplifted by the idea of helping someone else create a family so I see this as a similar action.

natalie115 · May 2014

calikat80 said:
I love, love, love being pregnant. It makes me so sad DH only wants two and the Idea of not being pregnant again makes me want to cry. I know we can probably only handle 2 financially, so I plan on seriously looking into surrogacy.
I have donated my eggs twice and I feel really uplifted by the idea of helping someone else create a family so I see this as a similar action.

This is exactly where I'm at. I know that financially 2 kids is all we can handle and still be able to live the lifestyle we like, but I hate the thought of my next pregnancy being my last. On the flip side I don't necessarily want to go through the newborn stage more than twice. So for me it seems like the perfect solution. I get to be pregnant again and help someone who desperately wants a baby of their own, but once the baby is born I get to go back to sleeping through the night LOL

Edited b/c words are hard

riansmommie · May 2014

@mcbush I haven't actually donated yet, but I'm up to the point in the process where all I have to do is sync my cycles with a donor and start the shots. I may be able to answer some of your questions.

ASmallWonder · May 2014

I would do it for my brother and his (hypothetical) wife but that's it and honestly, even that would be really hard.

ilovemarfa · May 2014

No way. I didn't have bad pregnancies or bad deliveries but I know that there are risks to being pregnant (blood clots, maternal death, etc) and that's not a risk I'm willing to take unless I'm carrying my own child that I will be raising,

needanustart · May 2014

@mcbush fire away!

numbersgirl08 · May 2014

I'm amazed at all of you who loved being pregnant! More power to you!

I would probably only consider it for my sister and thought about it when they were having fertility issues. Then they went on to have a daughter and then twin daughters without fertility treatments (after they'd done a ton) in 2 years.

Cricket81 · May 2014

I would do it, but I am not sure I can do it. Our best friends have been trying for a while and and she has had 2 miscarriages since I got pg with LO. They're both over 35 and I am worried it's not going to happen for them. I would love to be a surrogate for them, but I am going to be 33 this summer and still want one more of my own. I also had a really tough delivery. I'd love to be able to help them have the family they deserve.

kelseypie · May 2014

I'm seriously considering it. I could have written the original post. I would need to really sit down and think it through more, but I would probably do it. It would take MAJOR convincing to get DH on board though. He thinks I'm crazy/pulling his leg.

kmkaull2 · May 2014

Gestational Carrier is the term you want. Your uterus, but their (or a donor's) eggs.

I would not be eligible because I have a uterine anomaly, but I did consider using a GC. My cousin offered to carry for us. It was the kindest offer and we were blown away. Ultimately, we decided to try IVF with me carrying.

I do know there's a psych screening involved in addition to the physical testing. Also consider the medication you'd need to support the embryo. It's manageable, but not a walk in the park.

Good luck as you consider this option. It is amazing to even consider!

JessicaKS · May 2014

I would possibly consider it for my best friend if she was having infertility issues. I wouldn't do it for my brother/SIL because they have a daughter already and I don't think I'd be up for it for a couple who already had one child, no matter how close I was to them.

I am not sure if I would do it for BIL/SIL (husband's sister).

Buttercup8609 · May 2014

This discussion actually came up in our house a month or two ago. My husband's best friend's girlfriend can't carry and he in a round about way asked me when they were in town one day. My husband and I talked about it and we would both be open to me being a surrogate for them - because it's his best friend and if he wants his own children and we/I can help him in that, I don't see a reason not to.

Like others said, I enjoyed being pregnant and would love to be pregnant more than twice, but don't really want more than 2 of our own. If the best friend and girlfriend are willing to wait until after we have number 2, I'd be more than happy to do it for them. If it were anyone besides a best friend or close family member, I don't know if I could do it.

Three of our nieces were carried by their grandma (my sister-in-law's mom, sister-in-law has a heart condition and can't carry herself) - the oldest is going on 3 and the twins are a month younger than E.

natalie115 · May 2014

Cricket81 said:
I would do it, but I am not sure I can do it. Our best friends have been trying for a while and and she has had 2 miscarriages since I got pg with LO. They're both over 35 and I am worried it's not going to happen for them. I would love to be a surrogate for them, but I am going to be 33 this summer and still want one more of my own. I also had a really tough delivery. I'd love to be able to help them have the family they deserve.

The sites I looked into said that you can be up to 41 years of age...I think because you don't typically use your own eggs. Just a thought if you really wanted to look into it for them.

weddinginthecove · May 2014

I had such a horrible first pregnancy with HG from 5 weeks until birth at 41. I'm not sure I can do it again for myself, let alone for someone else. Nevertheless I think it is an amazing thing to do for someone else when done for the right reasons.

megaroo64 · May 2014

From just a being pregnant again standpoint, I would totally so it. I am a freak that really enjoys being pregnant. But the aftermath would trip me up. I would have trouble doing it for a close friend knowing I would still see the kid. Like what if they decided not to vaccinate and then I knew about it??? But, I would also have trouble doing it for a stranger because I would always wonder what was going on with the child. Maybe I would think about it if the opportunity fell in my lap, but I wouldn't seek it out.

benny713 · May 2014

I have so much respect for women who choose to do this. I think it is an amazingly wonderful thing to do, and I couldn't do it in a million years.

There are a host of reasons I would make a terrible surrogate. I hated being pregnant with a passion. There is no way I would be able to.give up a baby I carried because I would be way too emotionally attached. I'm also a very private person, so having someone (family or a stranger- wouldn't matter) that far up in my business for the better part of a year would drive me insane. And I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone but my husband and medical professionals seeing me so vulnerable during childbirth.

There is a history of endometriosis, miscarriage, and reproductive issues in my family as well. So I doubt I would even be considered.

GraceInCA · May 2014

I would love to be a gestational carrier, but because of my age and loss history, I'm not a good candidate.

cafecreme · May 2014

I would for family, like my brother or sister. It would have to be gestational surrogacy, not traditional. I wouldn't think of anyone else to do it for.

Maelara · May 2014

I would for my youngest sister but not my middle. I could not give up a baby to her and her... Husband. I only would for my youngest sister as a very, very last attempt. I hate being pregnant and pregnancy hates me.

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