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Dad and Baby: Tips on bonding with unborn/newborn child

jjhughes2jjhughes2
in 3rd Trimester

Hi everyone,

I'm a graduate student at Indiana University and I'm doing a project on designing technology that can help fathers feel more connected to their unborn (and newborn) child. We as woman obviously feel a huge connection to the baby, as it is growing inside of us, but how can we help the father start to feel the connection? I thought what better way to get research on this than asking real people?


If you can answer any of the questions below, it would be a great help. You can answer it for the father (by say that you are), or have the father answer themselves. 



What did the father do/are doing to help make a connection between him and your child? (both born and unborn)


What does the father wish he could do, but don't have the means?


You may also respond if you have any other opinions or thoughts on the topic. Anything can be helpful! You might also help other expecting fathers learn new tips!


Thanks! And let me know if you have any questions.

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Re: Dad and Baby: Tips on bonding with unborn/newborn child

  • ImThisBabysMomImThisBabysMom member
    imagejjhughes2:

    Hi everyone,

    I'm a graduate student at Indiana University and I'm doing a project on designing technology that can help fathers feel more connected to their unborn (and newborn) child. We as woman obviously feel a huge connection to the baby, as it is growing inside of us, but how can we help the father start to feel the connection? I thought what better way to get research on this than asking real people?


    If you can answer any of the questions below, it would be a great help. You can answer it for the father (by say that you are), or have the father answer themselves. 



    What did the father do/are doing to help make a connection between him and your child? (both born and unborn)

     Since she is in me right now, he talks to her and rubs my belly and kisses it and always asks how she's doing. He also makes sure I have what I need, because that means she has what she needs.


     

    What does the father wish he could do, but don't have the means?

    Right now, since I am pregnant, he wishes he could help me. Like take a turn carrying her to give me some relief. So what he wishes he could do right now is more about me than her.

     


    You may also respond if you have any other opinions or thoughts on the topic. Anything can be helpful! You might also help other expecting fathers learn new tips!

     

    He is always very involved in any decisions about/for her. For example, our registry or he read the car seat manual cover to cover (except for the spanish part since we don't speak spanish). I believe based on his actions now, he will be just as involved when she is born. He also practiced diapering since he is a newbie. He is very excited for her to come.

    Thanks! And let me know if you have any questions.

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  • kdjuddkdjudd member
    I think the important thing is allowing the father to be active during the pregnancy. From the very first moment I got a positive pregnancy test my husband has been involved. I have allowed him to help think of ways for us to announce the news to our family. I have invited him to every doctor's appointment. We both picked out a name together. I encourage him to talk to my stomach and remind him that because of that our daughter will recognize his voice. I designed a birth plan with him. I have discussed parenting methods with him and of course we went to birthing classes together! Just helping the dad feel involved in the process is a huge step towards bonding after the child is born. 
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  • wakkowakko
    My husband occasionally reads to my tummy.  And for my toddler, DH would read to him as an infant all the time and hold him a lot.  After the first year, putting the baby to bed, from getting pajamas on, to a bottle of milk and a story has been his responsibility. 
    I can't say there's something he wishes he could do but can't.  He sees my struggle with pregnancy and is pretty happy that it's me and not him.  He did not feel jealous of my ability to feel kicks from the inside, or ability to breastfeed. 
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  • AngelaParishAngelaParish

    What did the father do/are doing to help make a connection between him and your child? (both born and unborn) MY HUSBAND KISSES MY BELLY GOODNIGHT AND TALKS TO OUR SON.  HE HAS BEEN AN ACTIVE PART OF NURSERY PLANNING AND HE PICKS UP SUPPLIES WE NEED FOR THE BABY.  WE ARE USING THE BRADELY MEHTOD OF NATURAL CHILDBIRTH WHICH IS A PARNTER COACHED BIRTH SO HE HAS BEEN VERY INVOLVED IN BIRTH PREPARATION SINCE HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A LOT ON THE THE BIG DAY. I ALSO INVOLVE HIM IN MY RESEARCH ON CLOTH DIAPERING, VACCINATIONS AND ANY OTHER PARENTING DECISIONS THAT NEED TO BE MADE SO WE ARE VERY MUCH, PREAPRING TOGETHER. I BELIEVE THIS HAS HELPED HIM FEEL CONNECTED AND GET TO KNOW HIS SON.


    What does the father wish he could do, but don't have the means? I KNOW MY HUSBAND WISHES HE COULD FEEL THE MOVEMENT MORE. MY SON TENDS TO STOP MOVING WHEN HANDS ARE ON MY BELLY. I GET TO FEEL HIM ALL THE TIME BECAUSE HE MOVES A LOT BUT MY HUSBAND DOES NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO SIT THERE AND WAIT...BUT I KNOW HE WOULD LIKE TO FEEL THAT MORE.


    You may also respond if you have any other opinions or thoughts on the topic. Anything can be helpful! You might also help other expecting fathers learn new tips!  IT TOOK MY HUSBAND A WHILE TO GET TO THE POINT WHERE HE IS CONNECTED.  WE HAD A HIGH RISK FIRST TRIMESTER SO A LOT OF TIME WAS SPENT PREPARING FOR THE WORST AND NOT GETTING TOO ATTACHED.  WELL MOMMY GETS ATTACHED NO MATTER WHAT BUT FOR HIM, I THINK HE WAS FOCUSED ON TAKING CARE OF ME AS WELL AS EMOTIONAL SELF PRESERVATION.  THEN ONCE THE SCARY PART WAS OVER, HE FOUND HIMSELF NOT AS CONNECTED AS HE FELT HE SHOULD BE.  BUT ALL IT TOOK WAS SOME TIME AND NOW HE IS ALREADY AND AMAZING, DEVOTED FATHER.  EVERY THOUGHT AND DECISION IS BASED ON WHAT IS BEST FOR OUR SON.

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  • tjkdlhbtjkdlhb member
    imagejjhughes2:

    Hi everyone,

    I'm a graduate student at Indiana University and I'm doing a project on designing technology that can help fathers feel more connected to their unborn (and newborn) child. We as woman obviously feel a huge connection to the baby, as it is growing inside of us, but how can we help the father start to feel the connection? I thought what better way to get research on this than asking real people?


    If you can answer any of the questions below, it would be a great help. You can answer it for the father (by say that you are), or have the father answer themselves. 



    What did the father do/are doing to help make a connection between him and your child? (both born and unborn)

     

    He is super nice to mama!  If I am tired, he will bring me whatever I need/want (water, ice-cream) even if it means going out to the store to get it.  He gets so excited when we walk through the baby aisle at the store, holding up booties or whatever gets his attention, with a goofy grin.  He helped with getting the nursery planned, ready, painting etc.  He won't let me lift anything too heavy.  He is helping to train our dog with jealousy issues, so hopefully the dog will adjust easier when baby comes home (he carries a practice baby and pretends it's real, doesn't let him jump on the bed, makes the dog wait before going up/down stairs)

    What does the father wish he could do, but don't have the means?

     

    I think he's just grateful that he doesn't have to go through the dr. appointments, pregnancy sickness, bloodwork, labour...


    You may also respond if you have any other opinions or thoughts on the topic. Anything can be helpful! You might also help other expecting fathers learn new tips!


    Thanks! And let me know if you have any questions.




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  • jjhughes2jjhughes2

    Thank you for all the responses! This is great! When I'm done with my project I'll try and post my findings here to help out other new parents/expecting parents :)

     

    Keep 'em coming! 

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  • ToriDoriBabuToriDoriBabu member
    SEX!  Seriously.  It seems like the hormones from consistent sex with the father helps bond the baby to him.  How else is she supposed to know who her father is?  Whenever I am having symptoms (like period cramps, being emotional or moody, etc.,) it seems to be because she doesn't feel close to her father.  Once we have sex, my symptoms are gone.  Works every time without fail. :)  
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  • ashanne88ashanne88 member
    :-?
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  • Meery82Meery82 member
    Bliss+Berry said:


    ToriDoriBabu said:

    SEX!  Seriously.  It seems like the hormones from consistent sex with the father helps bond the baby to him.  How else is she supposed to know who her father is?  Whenever I am having symptoms (like period cramps, being emotional or moody, etc.,) it seems to be because she doesn't feel close to her father.  Once we have sex, my symptoms are gone.  Works every time without fail. :)  

    What the ever loving fuck?



    Uh, yeah. Gross.

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  • katekat8721katekat8721 member
    ToriDoriBabu said:
    SEX!  Seriously.  It seems like the hormones from consistent sex with the father helps bond the baby to him.  How else is she supposed to know who her father is?  Whenever I am having symptoms (like period cramps, being emotional or moody, etc.,) it seems to be because she doesn't feel close to her father.  Once we have sex, my symptoms are gone.  Works every time without fail. :)  
    You zombied a 2 year old thread with this shit? Ew!

    https://media.giphy.com/media/OBMf2opQmKSek/giphy.gif

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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