Unconventional Baby Shower for FTM?

mamatomp · May 2014

I'm going to post this on the shower board, but I wanted to ask you ladies, too... My SIL is expecting her first child and I am hosting a shower for her in the next few months. Here's the catch: she and her husband just relocated to Baltimore, MD for his 2 year residency. The shower will be held here in Louisiana where we are from, and where all our family is.

So here is my question: for a first time mom who has no baby stuff whatsoever, what kind of shower can I throw where she'll get useful things. I mean it's not like she can take a pack n play, swing, travel system, etc back on a plane with her. Of course relatives will have the option of purchasing from her registry and having those things shipped to her if they so desire. But I still want her to have gifts to open AT the shower. I hate to just do gift cards bc they're pretty well off and don't really NEED them, and that's kind of boring and impersonal.

Assuming they have a name picked out then, I could do a monogram shower? A book shower? I want a theme here! Any ideas? Forgive me for the ramble... I'm a planner and it's already driving me nuts!

LyndseylovesHugh · May 2014

Just do a regular shower, it will work out! Both of my showers when I was pregnant with DD were in other states, airplane rides away. People knew I was traveling, some got me big things and had them shipped to my home and some got me smaller things like clothes and I just packed them in my suitcase. Between two showers I only received two things at the showers that i couldn't fit in my luggage so I just returned them there and rebought them locally. I got plenty of things off my registry and still had plenty if adorable things to open at the actual shower!

Eta: I dont think you should ever dictate what gift someone should buy (ie Monogram shower, book shower, etc).

nicoletteb · May 2014

My family requested people bring a book in lieu of a greeting card for my shower. I was neutral about it, because I know it's become popular recently. But I am so glad they did it!! I bawled my eyes out when I read the messages people wrote in the books. It was so special, and we got some really cute ( and some pricey) books that I never would have thought to buy on my own. People either brought their own favorite childhood book, or their own child's favorite. So it was a very personal, thoughtful touch. Some people attached a gift card to it, but mostly people just added it to their main gift.

The only downside I could see to something like this, is that the 20+ books I got weigh a lot! But if she doesn't mind the baggage fees (if it's heavy enough), I say go for it.

Nicole3&counting · May 2014

My SIL had one where everyone bought a onsie and she had to guess which guest it was from. It was great because she had something to open but her "real gifts" where able to be bought online and shipped.

chevronseven · May 2014

People are gonna buy what they want. If she gets large items she can have them shipped separately to her home. My first shower was in GA but I live in IA. Although we drove, so we had room for all the gifts.

cakebatter27 · May 2014

How sweet of you for thinking ahead. I say a traditional shower is the way to go. People will know she lives out of state and most will shop gifts and bring little things.

I totally hate the book or diapers route. It's my money and if I'm spending $100 on a gift and you ask for diapers....well now I'm buying you a $75 gift. I find that super tacky.

mamatomp · May 2014

Thank you ladies! I just remember having massive amounts of STUFF to get home after my showers as a FTM and I didn't want to put her in a predicament... I suppose people will shop with the situation in mind and know it's not reasonable to bring boxes of pampers, etc. on a plane.

January Bride · May 2014

I had a bridal shower in Canada, but live in Chicago. If people bought me a larger item that I couldn't take back with me, they printed a photo of the item from the registry website and included it in the card. I'm not saying you should ask guests to do this, but just mentioning it to point out that guests might think ahead about some of this stuff.

I agree with pp that you should just have a regular shower. Hopefully most guests figure it out.

Ekg688 · May 2014

If you do a "book shower" she can ship them back home via USPS. They have a special rate for boxes of just books! I set home a HUGE box of school textbooks and it ended up costing me like $10!

bluebird0521 · May 2014

Most people think about these things when making purchases to be honest. My friend lives across the country and at her bridal shower most people included a picture of the item they purchased off her registry that was shipped to her house. Small gifts were still given, but they were things that she could easily take with her. I think you will be okay. On that note, you can still have a book shower or something if that's something you were wanting to plan.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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BP607 · May 2014

I worked with a girl who lived in Virginia but had a shower in Indiana. Her mom returned all the large items and then had them sent for store pickup at her local BRU. I guess if you don't mind the hassle if she does get something she can't take back, you could always return it for her and work out something like this.

Unknown · May 2014

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TallMomma29 · May 2014

FitMom7911 said:

I'm going to post this on the shower board, but I wanted to ask you ladies, too... My SIL is expecting her first child and I am hosting a shower for her in the next few months. Here's the catch: she and her husband just relocated to Baltimore, MD for his 2 year residency. The shower will be held here in Louisiana where we are from, and where all our family is. So here is my question: for a first time mom who has no baby stuff whatsoever, what kind of shower can I throw where she'll get useful things. I mean it's not like she can take a pack n play, swing, travel system, etc back on a plane with her. Of course relatives will have the option of purchasing from her registry and having those things shipped to her if they so desire. But I still want her to have gifts to open AT the shower. I hate to just do gift cards bc they're pretty well off and don't really NEED them, and that's kind of boring and impersonal. Assuming they have a name picked out then, I could do a monogram shower? A book shower? I want a theme here! Any ideas? Forgive me for the ramble... I'm a planner and it's already driving me nuts!

I agree with PPs that you should just have a regular shower! I had a bridal shower out of state and someone (who knew I traveled from out of state) bought me dishes and brought them to the shower. I ended up returning them and then repurchasing when I got home. But everyone else either shipped big items or purchased smaller items. It will work out!

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