So we did Ferber this past weekend...(long post)

amt0312 · May 2014

And I feel like a horrible mom trying this so early, but it worked like a miracle! Don't get me wrong, I had my doubts and I cried A LOT especially after the first night went so horribly. I'll spare the details of how bad it was, but it was literally the worst night of my life. I'd rather give birth again then go through that again. DH took the first two nights of all the checks so I could finally get some rest on the couch without being woken up a thousand times during the night. The first night I wasn't able to sleep really at all since DH needed help most of the night and encouragement because it was sooooooo hard for him to listen to his baby girl cry.

We had a few sleep associations to tackle- rocking, swaddle and pacifier. We went cold turkey for all of them. After the first night and a day of terrible napping (we Ferbered for night and naps all at once), I broke down and begged DH to give up and try again when she was a bit older. While he was sympathetic to my tears, he talked me into giving it one more night because we had already started the process and she was showing signs of catching on. He said he never wanted to go through a first night again and promised me that if the 2nd night was just as bad, we'd give it up and try again when she was older.

The second night was a VAST improvement over the first night. DH said he never had to go in at all and she stopped crying before the first check every time and only woke up once between 11:30pm and 6:30am when I woke to go and get her. She was awake in her crib babbling away and happy as a lark.

Last night was our third night and she slept from 9pm-6:30am without waking up at all. I, on the other hand, was up at 4 am wide awake and unable to fall back asleep until 5. I am so used to being up all night I guess!

Naps are hit or miss, but overall, she is sleeping so soundly and waking up so happy now that she's not getting interrupted sleep due to breaking out of her swaddle or losing her pacifier and needing to be rocked back to sleep. I don't think I'd every do it again this early on (she's 4 months and 1 week), but DH and I were at our breaking point with the night wakings. I nearly got into a car accident last week on a 2 minute drive with DD to the store because I was so tired and not focusing. DH also crashed our cars together when backing out of our driveway because he was so tired and not paying attention. That was it for him. I was also irritable, frustrated and it was affecting our marriage. He said we had to do something now. We got our pediatrician's blessing to go ahead with Ferber and he gave us a thorough rundown on what to do. I also read the book which was very helpful and informative. For now, we are following Ferber strictly to the letter and the consistency has paid off immensely. I no longer feel tied to the baby monitor and its incredible to be able to lay her in her crib and let her go to sleep on her own. She typically falls asleep between 3 & 5 minutes of crying.

I'm probably going to get flamed for doing this at 4 months, but it literally has saved my sanity thus far. I don't expect perfect nights all the time and I'm super sensitive to her needs during the day, but I feel that it was the right thing to do for us at this time.

RedSaffron · May 2014

If you got a second opinion from a professional and things worked out the second night on, then I don't really see what's really wrong with trying something a little earlier than you're supposed to. The ferber method reminds me of Modern Family when Mitchell and Cam tried doing the ferber method on Lily.

worleygirl · May 2014

No judging here. DS was about that age when we did it with him. He's an awesome sleeper. I'm not ready with DD yet due to her eating a lot in the night and still having a lot of tummy pain due to not pooping. I think we will do it with her soon though.

NenaMarie84 · May 2014

Last night I felt like we were going to have to start this soon too. DD will be 4 months Thursday and used to STTN until about three weeks ago. Now she's up 2-3 times a night and it's so frustrating. We have a dr apt Thursday and I plan to get her opinion on this. Koodos to you on following through. I can only imagine out tough it was. Great job momma!

amt0312 · May 2014

That was a good episode, lol.

I guess its all the mommy guilt that I feel is imposed on me at times? I had quite a few friends tell me they didn't believe in sleep training and acted horrifed when I mentioned it to them and that I should try co-sleeping. I was like if co-sleeping worked for us, then I would definitely be doing it! Or any of the other no-cry methods! It definitely sucks being driven to something you don't really wanna do, but at the same time feel like it's totally necessary.

edit: @redsaffron

amt0312 · May 2014

@marbee1214 if she were only waking up 2-3x a night I would have no problems! Heck, I'd let her do that until she went to college and I'd be ok. Probably not super excited about it, but I could totally deal with it. But she woke up a whopping 26 times on Friday night. 26! It was nuts!

ETA: I'm actually contemplating picking up a night feed once I feel that she can for certain put herself back to sleep. She hasn't actually consistently had a night feed since about 10wks old, but she dropped that on her own. I tried a few times, but she would take a small amount, push the bottle away and cry for her pacifier. I'm also worried about her weight and calories, but suddenly in the past few days, she's been taking in 25-27 oz of formula easily plus one feeding of solids per day. If it keeps up, I won't try feeding her at night again.

amt0312 · May 2014

@worleygirl The first food we started DD on besides oatmeal was pureed prunes. Pooping problems GONE. She was already used to prune juice, so I felt why not try the pureed ones instead. She loves them with all of her heart and gets excited when I put her in her chair to eat.

amt0312 · May 2014

MarBee1214 said:

amt0312 said:

@marbee1214 if she were only waking up 2-3x a night I would have no problems! Heck, I'd let her do that until she went to college and I'd be ok. Probably not super excited about it, but I could totally deal with it. But she woke up a whopping 26 times on Friday night. 26! It was nuts!

ETA: I'm actually contemplating picking up a night feed once I feel that she can for certain put herself back to sleep. She hasn't actually consistently had a night feed since about 10wks old, but she dropped that on her own. I tried a few times, but she would take a small amount, push the bottle away and cry for her pacifier. I'm also worried about her weight and calories, but suddenly in the past few days, she's been taking in 25-27 oz of formula easily plus one feeding of solids per day. If it keeps up, I won't try feeding her at night again.

yeah thats a good amount of formula. My DD only takes about 20oz of formula per 24 hours and only eats maybe 2-3 spoonfuls of solids per day. She had one fluke day last week where she ate 26oz and it hasn't happened since.

Yeah, I was in the same boat as you. It was literally only last week where getting 24oz was a struggle and she would have only eaten 18-20oz if she had her way.

amt0312 · May 2014

rgoblue said:

I am almost at this point as well. I actually started reading Ferber's book this weekend and will talk to our ped in a few weeks at her next appointment. The pacifier is killing us, and her sleep has worsened over time. She can put herself to sleep easily with a pacifier in, but I believer the sleep association created with it makes it hard for her to go back to sleep without it. Thank you for sharing your story! I was feeling guilty as well but am at the end of my rope a lot of days with the poor sleep.

I'm glad my post was helpful! The pacifier was the WORST. I mean, I totally understand that babies need to suck, but it was such a sleep hindrance and she never ever wanted it when she was awake. It was purely a sleep crutch.

And the guilt is very hard to overcome, and it never really goes away especially after going through what we went through the first night. She cried almost nonstop for the first half of the night with a few spurts of 20-30 mins of sleep here and there. DH and I drank several beers and went through a pack of cigarettes because we were so incredibly stressed out (and we both quit over 2 years ago).

sugarland726 · May 2014

I'm a big fan of Ferber. Most people do it wrong, so I was worried, after seeing LO's age and the title of the post. But after reading your post, I can see you clearly did your homework and executed this in the strictest of manners. So for that, kudos to you and I am glad it is working. Ferber is stressful and painful, but if you push through, it is so worth it in the end.

bethughknee · May 2014

sugarland726 said:

I'm a big fan of Ferber. Most people do it wrong, so I was worried, after seeing LO's age and the title of the post. But after reading your post, I can see you clearly did your homework and executed this in the strictest of manners. So for that, kudos to you and I am glad it is working. Ferber is stressful and painful, but if you push through, it is so worth it in the end.

@sugarland726 You might need to repeat this to me in a few months. We're obviously doing okay over here with 1 night waking a few times a week but once we try the crib again...I just don't even know what to expect. I'm over being optimistic with ANYTHING to do with sleep & DD.

ETA: I'm bringing Ferber's book with me to the Bahamas because I'm a masochist!

amt0312 · May 2014

sugarland726 said:

I'm a big fan of Ferber. Most people do it wrong, so I was worried, after seeing LO's age and the title of the post. But after reading your post, I can see you clearly did your homework and executed this in the strictest of manners. So for that, kudos to you and I am glad it is working. Ferber is stressful and painful, but if you push through, it is so worth it in the end.

Yes, being prepared for this was key to making it work. We knew exactly what to expect and we laid out a plan and talked over what to do if x,y or z happened. What I wasn't prepared for was my own reaction and the stress and heartbreak it caused. After the first day, I was sure I was ruining my LO and almost gave up. Thank goodness for my H who pushed me on and made me remember that we had to keep going with it because we had already started.

blue_elle · May 2014

I think we're getting close to trying some sort of sleep training. DS was doing good, but it's all fallen apart. He can no longer put himself to sleep and cries hysterically when put down. Good naps have become nearly nonexistent because he wakes after 10-20 minutes and cries to be picked up. Going to bed now involves an hour of multiple wakeups until he finally stays asleep. I don't mind getting up to feed him, but the pacing the house for an hour to put him back to sleep multiple times a night is exhausting and the overall lack of sleep is not good for him either.

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So we did Ferber this past weekend...(long post)

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