WTH lady?!

schnookee · May 2014

I'm at the ob for my check up and some lady is her with her sick kid who is hacking in the waiting room. The kids sounds horribly congested. Why in the world would you bring your sick kid to the ob? Unless it an emergency why wouldnt you reschedule? Not only out of respect for the other people here, especially the pregnant ones, but how about for your kid? I just don't get it.
ETA: In response to some of the posts, I don't know her story and maybe I am being judgmental. I did say unless its an emergency I would reschedule. I'm a huge germ freak and I have crazy anxiety about getting sick while pregnant. I know tons of pregnant women get sick and they are fine but I have immune issues that cause me to get hit really hard when I get sick. I'm nervous about how much worse it could be if I got sick while pregnant. Like I said, my daughter gets an allergy cough. I know I'm not a docto but this kids cough sounded nothing like that. He sounded heavily congested. Personally I don't bring my kid anywhere except her doctor if she's sick, but I am a SAHM so I don't have to worry about time off or anything like that. I'll admit it I haven't been on the other side so I don't know. Sorry if I sounded like an a-hole or offended anyone. I just needed to vent and get my anxiety out.

Allison7 · May 2014

I think this all of the time when I am in public places now and these kids sound like they are on death's door. It doesn't help that lately whooping cough and measles have been showing up in a Pittsburgh...just adds to my paranoia. When I flew at 20 weeks I strongly considered wearing a mask.

schnookee · May 2014

Every time he coughs I cringe! I'm on the other side of the waiting room so hopefully I'm far enough away. Like I said I just don't get it! My daughter will get a cough from her allergies and asthma that sounds rough and even though I know it's not something contagious I hate bringing her anywhere when she has it. This kid is definitely congested. It is not an allergy cough. Especially at an ob I see no reason to bring your kid here I they're sick instead of rescheduling.

GinnyJ2012 · May 2014

DS has allergies that make him very congested. When he starts couching he sounds awful. How old is the child? I've been told that young children just aren't efficient at coughing. Hopefully it's nothing serious, but I'd stay on the far side of the office and wash your hands also.

MC03 · May 2014

That sucks and I can understand your concern about getting yourself sick. Make sure you wash hands and stay far away. But I agree that there could be a lot of reasons that mom had to take her son out. Maybe he isn't as sick as you think, or maybe she is having an emergency, or maybe it is difficult to re-schedule, or she already had to re-schedule and really needs to get to this appointment. I don't see it as judge worthy.

lookame3639 · May 2014

You don't know the situation she's in. DS will be congested when he comes back from ex (working the cigarette smoke out of his system) he'll sound bad for a day or two then he's fine. She may be really needing something at this appointment and something sitters aren't available.

If the kid was running a fever or throwing up...different story...coughs/colds don't get excused from school (school won't consider them sick per say) so it doesn't phase me when I see/hear kids with colds out and about. Being i have an already weak immune system before pregnancy i just make sure i avoid where they are and wash my hands...If i catch it i catch it and I deal with it

PecanSam · May 2014

My kid sounds and looks horribly sick when she's cutting a tooth and when she has allergies.

schnookee · May 2014

I edited and put a response in the OP because I'm mobile and my phone doesn't like me today. It wouldn't post my reply.

herecomesthesun · May 2014

This time of year, it's very likely it's allergies. I get nasty, really congested coughs from allergies (when not pregnant- somehow I've been shielded from it through pregnancy) that sound like I am super contagious when I am not. When I was a kid, it was much, much worse. The kid could also have something bacterial which is not as likely to be spread like a viral cough.

I dislike any cough or sneeze in public (especially on planes) but know that you can't control others. I just do my best to not breathe in too deeply, keep myself as far away as possible, and wash my hands a lot. There's not a whole lot else you can do.

Jolaine83 · May 2014

I think I'd be in trouble if an OB didn't allow kids over 6 months in the practice. I am a SAHM with no family that close by to help watch kids. My kids are at all OB appointments with me alone with the exception of the one u/s I knew would be a internal wand - I got my parents to come watch the kids for that. So, there's that to keep in mind.

Second, my kids are still coughing from a cold we had over a month ago. They stopped being considered sick (by me at least) when the fever was gone. My DD has asthma, which makes her more susceptible to coughing and sounding worse. I encourage them to follow basic germ speading prevention guidelines, like coughing into their hands or elbows, washing hands often, blowing nose, etc. Let's face it, they need to learn eventually because it won't be a reason to stay home from school in a few years or from work as adults.

Also, this may sound harsh, but don't expect the world to adapt to your immunity issues. A cough is a cough and it's just not possible to stay home with or without kids unless you are fully healthy at all times, especially since most viruses can be spread prior to any symptoms. There is no safe place unless you have doctor visits at home and never leave your home. Exposure is limited if you aren't in physical contact with the kid and you follow basic germ prevention guidelines by not touching your face and washing your hands.

It sucks to get exposed, it really does. My immunity is also suppressed while pregnant (DS brings plenty of basic colds home for me to get) and I've be exposed to nearly everything by now while pregnant, including H1N1, whooping cough, measles and hand, foot and mouth - all because people had no idea they were contagious prior to showing signs. I ended up not catching any of the more serious ones, due to luck and proper handwashing.

caballablanca · May 2014

My doc has a sign outside the office saying to not bring sick children in the office to protect the pregnant ladies in the waiting room. Hopefully it's just allergies. They were bad this year.

schnookee · May 2014

Jolaine83 said:
I think I'd be in trouble if an OB didn't allow kids over 6 months in the practice. I am a SAHM with no family that close by to help watch kids. My kids are at all OB appointments with me alone with the exception of the one u/s I knew would be a internal wand - I got my parents to come watch the kids for that. So, there's that to keep in mind.

Second, my kids are still coughing from a cold we had over a month ago. They stopped being considered sick (by me at least) when the fever was gone. My DD has asthma, which makes her more susceptible to coughing and sounding worse. I encourage them to follow basic germ speading prevention guidelines, like coughing into their hands or elbows, washing hands often, blowing nose, etc. Let's face it, they need to learn eventually because it won't be a reason to stay home from school in a few years or from work as adults.

Also, this may sound harsh, but don't expect the world to adapt to your immunity issues. A cough is a cough and it's just not possible to stay home with or without kids unless you are fully healthy at all times, especially since most viruses can be spread prior to any symptoms. There is no safe place unless you have doctor visits at home and never leave your home. Exposure is limited if you aren't in physical contact with the kid and you follow basic germ prevention guidelines by not touching your face and washing your hands.

It sucks to get exposed, it really does. My immunity is also suppressed while pregnant (DS brings plenty of basic colds home for me to get) and I've be exposed to nearly everything by now while pregnant, including H1N1, whooping cough, measles and hand, foot and mouth - all because people had no idea they were contagious prior to showing signs. I ended up not catching any of the more serious ones, due to luck and proper
handwashing.

I understand what you're saying about not expecting others to adapt to my immune issues and I don't expect them too. I do think it's common courtesy to stay home when you're sick as much as possible. Common colds to one person or kid can mean pneumonia or something else to another.

dogperson11 · May 2014

OP, I completely understand your frustration and would feel the same way. Maybe in a year or two when it's my sick kid I'll eat my words, but for now, I agree that a sick kid (or adult) shouldn't be out in public exposing everyone else.

Jolaine83 · May 2014

schnookee said:

I think I'd be in trouble if an OB didn't allow kids over 6 months in the practice. I am a SAHM with no family that close by to help watch kids. My kids are at all OB appointments with me alone with the exception of the one u/s I knew would be a internal wand - I got my parents to come watch the kids for that. So, there's that to keep in mind.

Second, my kids are still coughing from a cold we had over a month ago. They stopped being considered sick (by me at least) when the fever was gone. My DD has asthma, which makes her more susceptible to coughing and sounding worse. I encourage them to follow basic germ speading prevention guidelines, like coughing into their hands or elbows, washing hands often, blowing nose, etc. Let's face it, they need to learn eventually because it won't be a reason to stay home from school in a few years or from work as adults.

Also, this may sound harsh, but don't expect the world to adapt to your immunity issues. A cough is a cough and it's just not possible to stay home with or without kids unless you are fully healthy at all times, especially since most viruses can be spread prior to any symptoms. There is no safe place unless you have doctor visits at home and never leave your home. Exposure is limited if you aren't in physical contact with the kid and you follow basic germ prevention guidelines by not touching your face and washing your hands.

It sucks to get exposed, it really does. My immunity is also suppressed while pregnant (DS brings plenty of basic colds home for me to get) and I've be exposed to nearly everything by now while pregnant, including H1N1, whooping cough, measles and hand, foot and mouth - all because people had no idea they were contagious prior to showing signs. I ended up not catching any of the more serious ones, due to luck and proper handwashing.
I understand what you're saying about not expecting others to adapt to my immune issues and I don't expect them too. I do think it's common courtesy to stay home when you're sick as much as possible. Common colds to one person or kid can mean pneumonia or something else to another.

But the common cold is so basic that a child isn't expected to stay home from school with it. Or daycare. Or an adult from work. Asking a mother to keep her kid home from her appointment when you have no physical contact with that child and thus little actual exposure because of a possible cold (or seasonal allergies, you don't know) seems unreasonable to me. That's my point. You have no idea if the child was even sick and you were super concerned. You can't live in a bubble, so all you can do is be proactive on your part and understand that as a parent, you will have to make choices to take your kids out into public with things as small as a cold. Maybe the mom is high risk and her child's cold is trumped by her unborn baby's health - you have you idea her reasons or if the child was even contagious.

And I do know what you mean that colds can cause worse issues. I just recovered from a month of bronchitis because of a cold my son brought home from preschool. He coughed for a week, my daughter ended up in the hospital because of her asthma and I ended up with bronchitis that should have probably landed me in the hospital but I treated it at home with my doctor's approval since I had everything I could take there anyway. My only exposure was his attendance in that program. It sucks, but it's life. I'm not going to pull my kids from their activities because I am at a higher risk of getting sick. All you can do is prevent on your end because the world is not going to adapt to your needs.

lookame3639 · May 2014

schnookee said:

Jolaine83 said:
I think I'd be in trouble if an OB didn't allow kids over 6 months in the practice. I am a SAHM with no family that close by to help watch kids. My kids are at all OB appointments with me alone with the exception of the one u/s I knew would be a internal wand - I got my parents to come watch the kids for that. So, there's that to keep in mind.

Second, my kids are still coughing from a cold we had over a month ago. They stopped being considered sick (by me at least) when the fever was gone. My DD has asthma, which makes her more susceptible to coughing and sounding worse. I encourage them to follow basic germ speading prevention guidelines, like coughing into their hands or elbows, washing hands often, blowing nose, etc. Let's face it, they need to learn eventually because it won't be a reason to stay home from school in a few years or from work as adults.

Also, this may sound harsh, but don't expect the world to adapt to your immunity issues. A cough is a cough and it's just not possible to stay home with or without kids unless you are fully healthy at all times, especially since most viruses can be spread prior to any symptoms. There is no safe place unless you have doctor visits at home and never leave your home. Exposure is limited if you aren't in physical contact with the kid and you follow basic germ prevention guidelines by not touching your face and washing your hands.

It sucks to get exposed, it really does. My immunity is also suppressed while pregnant (DS brings plenty of basic colds home for me to get) and I've be exposed to nearly everything by now while pregnant, including H1N1, whooping cough, measles and hand, foot and mouth - all because people had no idea they were contagious prior to showing signs. I ended up not catching any of the more serious ones, due to luck and proper
handwashing.
I understand what you're saying about not expecting others to adapt to my immune issues and I don't expect them too. I do think it's common courtesy to stay home when you're sick as much as possible. Common colds to one person or kid can mean pneumonia or something else to another.

I understand that a common cold isn't just a cold to someone else. I am on immune suppressing drugs and often when DS brings home a simple cold i catch it, not only that but it turns into a sinus infection and bronchitis. Still that being said I don't expect people to stay locked in their homes when they have a cold, child or adult. I also believe adults are much worse at spreading disease than children are since they'll go out with fevers, vomiting, infections and much worse conditions because they just need to run to the store whereas a parent will keep a severely sick child home.

tamarar5 · May 2014

I totally feel the same way. Don't get me wrong, I get that sick people go to doctors because they are sick. And I wouldn't begrudge them the care they need. Ever!

But at the same time, I definitely don't want to catch your germs, so wear a mask. I make my kids wear masks if they go to the Dr coughing — our office even provides them. I wear masks every time I go in with strep, which is at least six times every year.

And I know how awful that makes me sound, but I have two kids and I don't care.

jendem8 · May 2014

Allison7 said:

I think this all of the time when I am in public places now and these kids sound like they are on death's door. It doesn't help that lately whooping cough and measles have been showing up in a Pittsburgh...just adds to my paranoia. When I flew at 20 weeks I strongly considered wearing a mask.

I'm a teacher in the Pittsburgh area, and I have 2 kids in my class who were recently diagnosed with Pertussis. I made sure to get my shot last week at my appointment, but ugh! Really hoping I don't end up with it…

lookame3639 · May 2014

Oh...Also my nephew has asthma and at least once a year he gets croup. It's not contagious but it sounds absolutely aweful. When he coughs it rattles through his voice box. My sister when she coughs it sounds horrible since she coughs so hard it rattles through her vocal cords. A cough can sounds horrible bit not actually be as bad as it sounds. Some people just have really bad sounding coughs(case in point...my sister)

Jenrileysmom · May 2014

As PP's have said, my DD snots and hacks around for weeks after the "cold" is gone. Being in 1st grade it's one right after another. It sucks but I wouldn't keep her home for all of that time. She would be locked up for 4 months out of the year. And having a busy schedule, if I had an appointment and had to take her with me, I'd still be there.

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