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April 2014 Moms
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SO vent and question

padma55padma55 member
in April 2014 Moms
LO is 8 weeks old. He's going through his second leap, and he's teething. We had three days of near bliss, but last night he and I didn't sleep well, and he has been screaming all morning, and only sleeping when in the Moby. Needless to say, I'm preparing for a rough day of little rest and maybe no shower. SO is home today, this is his last day home before he works another 6 days straight. His friends have all been very anxious to meet/hang out with the baby and me, and he's constantly stressed that his friends won't be his friends anymore because he's constantly bailing on them. 

We were invited to lunch at his good friend's house today. I've already told him that if LO is fussy I'd prefer to not go. For me (EBF) it's difficult enough with a happy baby to nurse in front of others, bounce baby, burp baby, and all in a skirt and a smile. I'll be busting ass and breaking a sweat so that his friends get to see baby and meet me. I feel like The Good Wife at the moment. He's so stressed out about them being mad that it's overshadowing his ability to understand where I'm coming from. 

I told him if he was hell bent on this lunch he should just take baby by himself; that I shouldn't have to literally jump around and drip sweat on my first meeting with these people with a screaming baby. He said ok, meaning he's seriously going to take a fussy, teething, EBF baby to someone's house without me for lunch. 

Now, do I just let him do it and let him experience the hell I go through at the expense of baby? Or should I just tell him to go to his friends' house on his own? Or...should I go with him and screaming babe. I don't know if there is a single bone in my body that would be capable of letting baby go with dad and no milk (I don't have a supply), or go while hating SO for "putting me in this position". That sounds like an angry martyr and I don't think I can go there.

Any insight and/or advice would be so so appreciated. Thanks.
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Re: SO vent and question

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  • hlm184hlm184 member
    What Rogue said.  Also, I had no idea babies could be teething this early, now I"m scared.
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  • Rogue237Rogue237 member
    hlm184 said:

    What Rogue said.  Also, I had no idea babies could be teething this early, now I"m scared.

    Haha I second being scared. I thought I had a few more months!
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  • padma55padma55 member
    Trust me, I thought I had a few more months, too. My other kiddos didn't start teething this early.
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  • ambarnett1ambarnett1 member
    I will third Rogue. Tell him to get a grip and stop thinking about himself.

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  • strawberrytreestrawberrytree member
    edited May 2014
    I fourth Rogue. If his friends want to meet the baby so badly, why can't they come to your place?? They could swing by for a coffee for 20 minutes or something. 

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  • fee1124fee1124 member
    He could always take him right after you feed him and just have and hour and a half to two hour time limit knowing he has to bring him home to eat. I was hesitant to let my SO take the babe when he was fussy and it worked out great. He took him for a bit, the baby fussed a little but he handled it and I got a break.
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  • LyndseyLCLyndseyLC member
    Sounds exactly like my dh.. He was so mad at me for not stepping out and saying hi to his friend, his friends wife her like 5 year old and their newborn who just literally showed up at our house one evening. I was like in pjs and nursing little one when they came and just stayed in the house cuz Lo was fussy and I didn't feel comfortable with how I looked and didn't feel like entertaining or socializing
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  • *sparky**sparky* member
    How far away are the friends? If it is just a few minutes drive, I say send DH with the cranky baby and see how long he lasts. But I may be feeling particularly evil today.

     

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  • padma55padma55 member
    @LyndseyLC‌, I can so relate to that! People showing up unannounced right now is a big no go for me. @*sparky*, His friends are about a ten minute drive away. LO got a quick nap and if everything goes well at home I'll make an attempt, provided SO is comfortable bailing mid visit if needed. I told him that I'd like to hear more concern about his family and their needs than concern over keeping friends. Looks like he's experiencing the steep learning curve that is parenting. I've been a mom for 15 years now, so my concerns of that nature stopped when I was 19 years old. Because I've been a mom for so long I suppose I find it unbelievable that a 44 year old man is still concerned about such nonsense. Friends? HAHAHA! That's why we have the internet!!! ;-)
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