feeLing kind of guilty....

thedjinn88 · May 2014

I have been very excited about this pregnancy and my cousin being due just a few days later, but she wants to do everything together, she wanted to announce the same day,I didn't tell her the day I did so she couldn't copy... She was upset, well we find or the gender here soon and I planned out a family dinner and how we will announce the gender and she said she will just tell every one that night as well.I feel bad but I would like these nights to be separate, I feel guilty that I want that night to just my little family, I want her to plan her own special thing to do hers

am I just being a big ole whiney B? Lol

thedjinn88 · May 2014

It's a family dinner so she is included,I just am not telling her how we announce it so she does hers in her own way. She hasn't made an appt for the anatomy ultrasound yet so I might get lucky and she will have to wait on that.

PineApple85 · May 2014

I don't think you're being "whiney" in the least; but, it has been my experience that feelings are less hurt when you are up front. She might get her feelings hurt if you tell her straight out that you want these announcements separated but she'll definitely get her feelings hurt if you plan things behind her back.

Sucks you even need to have the conversation at all. Best of luck to you!

ccam · May 2014

I would sit down and tell her that you would like to do the announcement separately or do the family dinner with just your immediate family. It sounds like you guys are pretty close so she should understand.

alibearo · May 2014

I think you are justified in your feelings! I am sure if you explain and are upfront as others have suggested she will be fine. If it is a large family dinner that her family would be there for as well, I guess I just have to ask, what's the harm? You probably could do something cute with a double reveal. If you really want your own night, which again you are justified in having, make sure to include her in another fashion!

thedjinn88 · May 2014

My cousin is 20 going on 12, so taking to her just makes her well more of a diva, she can share the night if she wants to help pay for the night. With my close family and my SO close family we will have 21 people all together. I'm just frustrated she is tagging asking for free and stress free I guess.

lisaren · May 2014

Yeah, tell her to seriously back off.

alibearo · May 2014

So, it basically sounds like it is primarily YOUR family. Hmm. Yeah. Then you should kindly request for her to do another! Every preggo lady deserves her moment in the sun!

brooklyngirl18 · May 2014

AeandJb said:

I would be upset. I don't see why she wants to share these precious moments with someone else. She'll probably try for a double baby shower too. Since she won't listen to talking, just TELL her that you want to handle your announcements by yourself so people can have time to celebrate them without interference and that she should want that too. She seems like a thunder stealer.

this exactly

thedjinn88 · May 2014

She has actually already asked for a double baby shower,I told her no that will not be happening.

kebauslaugh · May 2014

My sisters and I are all due (3 of us) within 10 days of each other (2 of us on the same day), but live far enough apart to not be able to really even get together to share any of that kind of news with the whole family at the same time (the last few Christmases have been less than 30 hours where we've all been able to be together in the same place).

Our 2 year old is one of 5 boys born in 14 months on my hubby's side and in both cases, we just hope (being separated by lots of miles from our siblings and parents) that they'll get to know each other have a blast together, whenever we can get together!

Cousins are such a wonderful blessing, and they'll have lots of celebrations together. You'll have less traveling, etc. for parties, and they'll always have fun together no matter what!

I would suggest asking your sister to help plan the evening and possibly contribute to the dinner. Choose and plan your own ways of announcing the gender at the dinner. If you can do it together, it might not feel so much like she's piggy-backing the whole thing, and she might just really want to share the experience the whole thing with you!

Also maybe choose what you want for your registries separately, but maybe consider a small family baby shower together, in consideration of any relatives and close family friends that need to travel, but have separate ones with friends, co-workers, etc.

Your babies are a blessing and they will be together a lot, don't let them come between you and your sister, and definitely don't turn them on each other. Someday you'll want them to get along with each other so they'll get out of your hair!

Maelara · May 2014

I totally get ya. I would just be up front with her while telling her how excited you are that these babies will so close. I would say that at the family dinner you would like it to be your time to shine but you would love to help her plan a way to tell the family get gender news another night.

aa98 · May 2014

I sympathize. Though I would be thrilled to have a "pregnancy buddy" in the family, I would still want to have my own special moments. I wonder if you phrase it like I want each baby to have her own special moment, maybe that would sway her? That way it isn't YOU wanting your own moment or HER horning in, it's that you care about her little one having the special attention she deserves.

turtles7 · May 2014

That's exciting that you get to share this experience with someone in your family but I wouldn't want to share everything with her. I agree with everyone else and just talk with her about how you feel. Hopefully she'll be a grown up about it and understand.

alysonmh · May 2014

I don't think you are being whiney at all. This is your experience and I wouldn't want my thunder stolen. I think honesty is the best policy though, just tell her how you feel. That way she isn't hurt when you do things behind her back that she was expecting to do together. Better to communicate now than let things fester and damage your relationship.

thedjinn88 · May 2014

Thank you for all the advice ladies! She said yesterday she will be doing her own dinner,I must of been giving off a bad vibe...... I had said I wanted to make this special for my daughter and that she would need to help pay if she was going to make it her night as well, she is kinda cheap, more cheap then me lol so I didn't have to be completely rude, she is like dealing with a drama queen 5 yr old when you say something she doesn't want to hear, so to keep her calm have to a bit well delicate haha. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited we are prego together and that we get to experience so many things together I just want some things to be separate.

TC0514 · May 2014

Has she found out the sex of her baby yet? Just curious! Glad you were able to get her to understand she needs her own dinner reveal!

thedjinn88 · May 2014

That is the part that cracks me up, I have made my apt for the anatomy scan, so excited it will be our first ultrasound! But she has not made her appt yet, she has a check up next week and plans to make it then so I'm not even sure I'd she would know in time to do the same night.

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