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Torn

SunnyadamfSunnyadamf member
in Single Parents
Hi all I am new here for posting but have been lurking for awhile. 
Here's my situation. I am 15 weeks pregnant. My ex fiance and I broke up in February (together 4yrs) found out week after I was pregnant but he was already talking to a co worker (had been while together). 
I have had a really rough pregnancy between suffering depression to the point I finally asked my doc for meds bc I knew it was not just hormones, I've had bleeding twice and high fevers that have put me in er. Where was the ex during all of this? Unreachable bc he was at his gf's. My dilemma is he thinks he can just show up at a doctors appt here and there if I schedule them only on Fridays to work his schedule and he will come help and be involved when the baby is born, but he has told me he wants no interaction together and wants to be a family. Ive said this is not a family. My problem is he is not being supportive towards me through this pregnancy bc he has put his gf and him first so I've said I don't need him bc I do not want to be set up for failure with him being there when he is putting himself and her first. (I may sound bitter or bitchy) 
Am I wrong for wanting to leave where just the two of us are and go back to TX where I have a support group bc I won't be giving him the chance? Am I wrong for right now saying your not around supporting me through this pregnancy F off? Also what are ways he can be supportive besides doc appts I want to hear from other women in similar situations.

Thanks and I know I may get blasted. 

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Re: Torn

  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    First, stop relying on him for support and to make you feel better. The sooner you realize you are on your own, and the sooner you stop having any expectations of him, the easier this hard road will become. And it will be hard. Which is what brings me to my next point, go where you have support. You will need it now and even more later once the baby comes.
    I'm sorry this has happened. You will make it through and be the best mom ever!
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Im with @mrslynnyd dont rely on your ex at all. Dont make your life and your pregnancy revolve around him amd his scheduale. Go where you have support. I moved from oregon to minnesota to be close to family when i was 18 weeks pregnant.

    I have a bd who is like yours. And you know what i like life without him. Its quiet. I have my family and my bf who support me. And in return ive become the emotional support for ds sm. Its hard so he where you have support
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  • laurstarxlaurstarx member
    I was in the same predicament. BD who could come to an appointment here or there if he wasn't working or with one of the four girls he was cheating on me with. Don't rely on him. Rely on yourself and the people who are there for you. Guess what you need from him.. Nothing. You can do this. Go where you need to go and forget about him.

    Good luck!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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  • SunnyadamfSunnyadamf member
    Ive actually pushed him out of my life and  told him showing up for appts does not make you father of the year.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Glad to hear it! Stand up for yourself. Its my feelings that unless you want your ex there he gas no buisness being involved with your appointments, or labor/delivery. I think updates if they want tgem is fair game. But i was vulnerable when pregnant and usually went to my appointments alone. I had my sister and bf in the room with me when i delivered ds and im glad i did.

    My sister and bf were the best support system and still are. Although if im being honest im glad my sister was there for all tge labor and delivery and bf was only there for delivery. My cobtractions were aweful, i wassick, and exhausted and i probably would have punched bf because hes not very good at sympathy :D so moral of the story. Only people who are calm in the room with you. Haha.
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  • tig594tig594 member
    What PPs have said.  And if you plan on moving I'd do it before your LO is born.  If you and he go to court after the state can make you reside in the state you're in unless BD gives permission for you to leave with your LO.  
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