HELP! My in-laws are chain smokers!

haverlandwedding · May 2014

I am curious what other people do.

A LITTLE BACKGROUND: I am VERY much against smoking. My husband & I smoked for 9 years and we have been "smoke free" for 5 years!! We made the choice to get healthy and now, I am very against it when it comes to my immediate family & being around my new baby-to-be.

I don't know how to ask people, if they plan to come see the baby when he is born & hold him... I do not want the smell of smoke on their clothes. I don't know how to tell my mother in law & others to refrain from smoking before coming to the hospital (or at least have on a clean set of clothes before coming). I understand this is a lot to ask, but it is just my prerogative.

Any advice on how to "ask nicely" to please not smoke and/ or wear clothes that smell of smoke if you want to hold the new born baby?

WashingtonQueen · May 2014

It's not to much to ask and you've already answered your own question.
"please not smoke and/ or wear clothes that smell of smoke if you want to hold the new born baby"
There you go.

kmdendy · May 2014

My husband's dad and his wife smoke. He is also an alcoholic, lives in a trailer, and was a terrible father to my husband. When we went to see them, his wife kept on referring to my daughter as "IT". Let me see it.. does it cry.. can I hold it. LOL! ugh! My husband and I talked about it and decided we were going to talk to him and ask him to not wear a shirt that smells like smoke around the baby. We even thought about bringing him a shirt... but at the end of the day.. we agreed that his dad was ignorant and simply would not understand or abide... so we skipped the awkwardness/hassle and just let him hold her. He isn't a big part of our lives and my daughter won't see him often. I wish there was a better way to go about it.

I suggest asking them to change into a clean shirt if your child will be around them often. Luckily, my child will not be around him often.

If they come to see you at the hospital, I would just say you aren't letting people hold your child because of germs and you don't want them around the smell of smoke because it is not healthy. It may be awkward but you are a new mom and people expect you to be protective.

noice247 · May 2014

Even though it's awkward I would tell them your wishes. My father in law took me and my DS to see his friend and unbeknownst to me she was a chain smoker. She never smoked while we were at her house but her house smelled so badly of smoke. We were only there for about an hour and when we left my son had a cough. By the end of the day he had a horrible cold and I felt so bad. I have no idea if the smoke caused it or agitated something that was already there but I have no plans on bringing my little ones around smokers again

DBonfante · May 2014

My FIL was a smoker. We told him about 3 months before my EDD if you smoke you can't hold the baby. He has been cigarette free for more than 4 months. Good luck!

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