1 week post ectopic & MTX

rslh10 · May 2014

As today winds down, I find my mind racing and I'm really trying to control it. Last week at this time I had just put my son to sleep, gotten a shower and was laying in bed with really bad cramps looking at cribs and baby things. From there, the night turned into the worst night of my life. DX with ectopic and given MTX 12 hrs after getting to the ER.

So I'm wondering if any of you care to share ways that you coped with your loss, and were able to heal yourself and feel comfortable moving on and TTC. I also have a crazy 3 year old DS who keeps me busy and I feel like I haven't had a chance to process this all because I have to be everyone's rock, does that make sense? I'm not complaining AT ALL because I love my DS and DH but I'm sure some of you can relate.
Thanks for reading, just needed to talk.

mara005 · May 2014

I'm sorry for your loss, I had an ectopic in Jan.

I have not coped well with my losses, it was nessesary for me to talk to someone (a therapist) about it. And because that had help me, that's usually the first thing I recommend. I feel bad always venting to my husband or family/friends but I pay her so I will cry/vent/act selfish to her and not feel like I'm burdening her with my emotions or problems.

Good luck.

Mom2anAngel2 · May 2014

I am very sorry for your loss. With my last loss I left DS's care to DH for a little while. I just was not in a place where I could give a 1 year old the time and attention he needed. I slowly got back into the routine, but it took almost 2 weeks. We started TTC again as soon as we were cleared. I am in my mid-30's and did not feel that I had the luxury of waiting until I was completely ready.

I don't think that there is a magic trick that helps you move on, however, having a LO that needs you definitely helps you to feel needed and loved!

ellebelle2384 · May 2014

Lots of hugs! With my first loss (before DD) I moved on as well as I could by getting on MC/Loss and TTCAL boards and going on a vacation with DH before trying again. We were very lucky and got pg with DD right away, so that helped. This time around I honestly have had a harder time dealing with our two back to back losses. I think it's because I know what I'm missing now and am surrounded by moms either pg with their second or already have multiple kids (through daycare, play groups, etc). I saw a therapist after the first loss this year for a few sessions and she really encouraged me to take some "me" time. Go running, do yoga, things I did a lot more of before DD. She also encouraged DH and I to make a point to write monthly date nights on the calendar so things couldn't just come up and push off date night (like usually happens). Do you have a babysitter or someone who can watch DS so you can take time for yourself? Hope you can find time for yourself!