If not, ignore me. But if so....
Dear FIL
Thank you for gladly taking $320 from us to stay at what used to be your home and take care of what used to be your dogs so we could enjoy our first family vacation. Except that you went to your new home 4 of the 7 days, leaving the 3 dogs home alone for the majority of those days. And you "had" to leave about the time we were leaving the beach, so the dogs were alone again for several hours. And you pissed away the money we gave you and had to hit us up for gas money on the credit card H put you on. So nevermind. No thank you. In fact, go fuck yourself, and your grandson has enjoyed seeing you for an hour out of this month. Smh.
Eta - and also good job trying to guilt trip us because you were sick because you're too god damn stupid to read labels and/or determine if food/milk is spoiled before you inhale it. No we weren't setting traps for you. We're busy, and you're an idiot.
Re: Isn't open letter Saturday a thing?
Please don't drink on memorial day and be hung over for my surgery on Tuesday. K, thanks.
Signed,
Nervous as hell
Dear Fallopian tubes,
Thanks for your years of dedicated service, but it's time to retire. Also thanks for 3 healthy boys, couldn't have done it with out ya! No hard feelings I hope.
Signed
Can't wait to raw dawg it for life!!!
Dear landlord
So sorry but I'm about to burn the house down and run away. I can't get or keep it clean mostly because I suck, but also I think there is a dust monster living here. Also, everything smells bad and I don't think FIL helped things this week because he cleaned the bathroom before he left and I just cleaned it again and it still smells like ass. Fuck this shit I want to be a beach bum.
Sincerely,
On the run
Go the fuck to sleep. Everyone else in the house has been asleep for hours
Love,
Your future already tired self
DearDH,
Thanks for working do hard for LO and myself.
Love
Wifey
Ps. Please don't be mad but I went to sephora
Thanks for " letting me sleep in yesterday ". NOT , I woke up twice with Harper . I wake up to her crying at 7 yesterday morning . And your just playing on your iPad in bed . Would've been real nice to get some sleep !! I would love ONE night of un-interrupted sleep . Which I haven't had in about 5 months !
Love ,
Your super tired wife who's lacking sleep .
P.S. You will have a rude awakening next week when I go back to work and there's a screaming hungry baby on your side of the bed.
Married : ** 09/09/2011 ** BFP : 07-18-13 ** Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14 **
** BFP 2 : 01- 05-15 ** EDD 09-11-15 **
I hope you have a raging hangover tomorrow. Thanks for helping me pack our house, take care of Harper, and pick up the keys to our new house from the realtor today. That was really fun with a screaming infant in tow. I know you really enjoyed getting sloppy jo doppy on the lake while I was making sure our new house is ready for you, but I have an extreme dislike for you and your bachelor like lifestyle.
Also, you aren't allowed to sleep in the master bedroom until you've apologized for being such a douch canoe this week.
Sincerely,
Your super fed up wife
Me: 28 DH: 27
@WisconsinCheese12 & @futuremrstonyasmith
Dear fire detector
Thanks for beeping and shouting "low battery" at 1:45am
I know you're just doing your job but you scared the dog to the point that she's just now calming down an hour later
X's & O's
Appreciative but annoyed
@Futuremrstonyasmith
@WisconsinCheese12
:-q Hopefully today will be better
Dear hubby
Stop being so tired all he time and laying around. I get it your sleep is all messed up cause you work days and nights but you've done it for 10 years suck it up and get use to it. I'm the one who is up 2 times a night or more for the last 2 months (while you sleep peacefully) and I manage to function.
Love
your exhausted wife who is going to lose her shit next time you so much as complain about being tired
Dear poltical parties of Ontario
Stop targeting teachers. What did we ever so to you??? Did you have a mean teacher when you were a kid so now you are taking it out on us. Current government you screwed teachers last year and now the guy running against you wants to increase class sizes and fire a bunch of teachers and EAs. Awesome our choices are lose our jobs or vote you back in. That's it I say Don Cherry needs to run so I can vote him in instead.
Signed a teacher who just wants to enjoy maternity leave without worry about my job
When you're being a dick non-stop, I am not the problem because I cannot get over it two seconds later. How about, stop being a dick so we can all have a nice day.
And if you don't like the cat puke that has been on the basement stairs for a month, then clean it up. You have two arms, two hands, and two legs. You know where the cleaning supplies are. I'm sorry that dried up cat puke isn't my main priority when I have a baby that needs to be fed and changed, we need food in the house and dinners cooked, and the main parts of the house where people see need cleaning. I couldn't care less about the basement stairs that are a dusty, cat hair mess anyway.
Signed, your overworked, under appreciated wife.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
Please stop falling out everywhere! You are falling out in clumps and I am going to be left bald!!!! I don't want to see hair on my counter, on my couch , on my tooth brush , in my food , and in my baby 's diaper !! Seriously about to rock a shower cap 24/7.
Yours truly ,
Your balding host
Don't be offended when I give you a (polite) list of safety concerns I have for when you watch LO. The rules have changed since you had little ones, sleeping on their tummy is no longer ok, and I would be a bad mom to just assume you know that. You didn't have portable bucket seats when we were little so you don't know that she cannot sleep in her carseat once you bring her inside.
Don't get huffy and sarcastically joke about how I somehow survived childhood so they must have done something right....my dad was a great dad, but honestly with the lax safety standards back then I'm kind of surprised I did survive (my dad used to just put his arm in front of me for sudden stops in his truck that didn't have seatbelts....yeah cause his arm would have kept me from flying through the windshield).
Even if rules hadn't changed, every parent has different ways of parenting THEIR own child and there is nothing wrong with communicating those ways to the people who will be watching their child.
Signed your appreciative daughter who knows a thing or two about motherhood despite being new
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
I feel like I love you even more since having my own child. We've always been close, but suddenly I realize how much you must love me, if you love me the way I love Arthur (and I know you do). Knowing this redoubles my gratitude towards you. Thank you for everything.
And especially thank you for babysitting tonight! It was amazing!
Love,
Your daughter, forever.
Dear husband,
It's taken me almost seven years to figure out that when you act like a bitch, it's not because you actually WANT to be bitchy. It's because you only have one way to express every negative emotion (worry, fear, anxiety, fatigue, crabbiness, anger, embarrassment...) and that way is a bitchface and a nasty tone of voice.
Today when you called me back from my run because you couldn't handle a screaming A and then I arrived and you were just giving a CALM A. a bottle, you glared at me with your bitchface on and said in an accusatory manner, "He was hungry!" and ... it clicked!
I said, "are you trying to say, 'sorry for calling you for nothing, honey, I do apologize, go back to your run'?"
You said, still with the sour bitchface, "yeah, yes, that." and suddenly IT ALL MADE SENSE! You weren't being a bitch! You were just embarrassed and frustrated! A huge fight was aborted, I had an AMAZING run, and when we talked about it over dinner you blushed and said I was right!
Loving you more every day, and sooooo glad I finally figured that one out,
Your wife.
Thank you for being a great mother in law- even though the motivation is because you had such a bad relationship with your mIL and you don't want that for us.
Your appreciative DIL
Dear everyone,
Sorry that I constantly ask if everything is ok while you have my little Sloan. I just do t want you to feel like I'm pushing her off on you. I know you want to spend time with her and will give her back when you don't want her anymore
The overly self conscience mommy
Isn't it nice to figure out something like that about your spouse? When we first started dating we clashed horns quite a bit because I didn't understand him. He was constantly talking about buying this and doing that....all things that were too expensive or too time consuming to do and I would fight him on it. Then I finally realized he was just talking. Sure maybe he would like to do those things someday when time and money allows, but he wasn't seriously planning on going out and buying a boat tomorrow....so since I learned to just smile and say yeah that sounds cool, things are more peaceful on that front.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!