Breast Feeding Advice

Csltdk · May 2014

So as a FTM, I have NO IDEA what I am in for with breast feeding. I am so nervous that I will give up too soon becuase it will be difficult. My hosptial will have a lactation specialist but I know you ladies can offer some tips and tricks.

Any advice regarding proper latching, pain relief, how do you know the baby is getting enough? Can you pump after you feed? Anything is helpful!

unaveragejane · May 2014

I really like the kellymom.com website for BF help. Also, if you don't mesh well with the hospital LC, don't be afraid to look for others. I never could get DS1 to latch, and the hospital LC was no help at all. I thought it was my fault, and I beat myself up about it a lot. Three months later when I was in a baby boutique, I overheard an LC giving a consultation in the back of the store, and when I got back to my car I cried b/c the lady was so caring and helpful in contrast to the woman who "helped" me at the hospital.

Caitlin1216 · May 2014

Does your hospital offer a breast feeding class along with the labor classes? We just took ours last week & it was very informational & definitely made us feel a lot better about it.

iris427 · May 2014

Csltdk said:

So as a FTM, I have NO IDEA what I am in for with breast feeding. I am so nervous that I will give up too soon becuase it will be difficult. My hosptial will have a lactation specialist but I know you ladies can offer some tips and tricks. Any advice regarding proper latching, pain relief, how do you know the baby is getting enough? Can you pump after you feed? Anything is helpful!

Latching--with a proper latch, your baby should get as much of the areola in their mouth as possible (with a newborn, that can be tough because their mouths are so little and they don't always know to open them up wide enough). You should also see their lips flared--look for "fishy lips." If one of their lips is tucked in, they need to be taken off and latched on again. You should not hear any clicking or sucking noises either--that's a sign of a bad latch. NEVER let your baby nurse with a bad latch. It's tempting sometimes because it can take several tries to get the baby on right, but a bad latch will tear your nipples up. Take them off and put them back on as many times as you need to get the latch right.

Here's a good picture of fishy lips. You can also see that the whole areola is in the baby's mouth here (a newborn may not be able to fit the whole thing, but get as much of the areola as you can in):

One technique that worked for me is to aim the baby's nose and upper lip at the top of your areola--then in order to get the nipple in their mouth, they will have to open their lower jaw nice and wide.

In comparison, here are some incorrect latches: Lips tucked in, areola not in the mouth:

When your baby has a good latch, you will be able to hear them swallowing once your milk gets flowing (this may be harder to hear when you just have colostrum the first few days). Again, you should not hear any other clicking or sucking sounds.

How to know if the baby is getting enough milk: You will be able to tell this two ways: 1) the number of wet diapers they have in a day and 2) how their weight gain is doing. Your doctor and the hospital staff can give you more guidance about how many wet diapers they want to see, and how much they should be gaining. Remember, it's normal for a newborn to lose weight at first--but then they should gain it back, and then some, pretty quickly. Your pediatrician will give you guidance about that.

Pain relief--frozen stuff on my nipples helped me. You can also use lanolin to help prevent your nipples from drying out and cracking. Air drying after a feeding can also help prevent thrush and nipple damage. The BEST thing you can do to prevent nipple pain is work on a good latch. It's normal to have some tenderness the first week even with a good latch, but if the pain is more severe or long-lasting, or your nipples really look cracked/damaged, get help from an LC.

Pumping--I could never get anything from pumping after a feeding so I may not be the best person to answer this. I always had to time a pumping session 1-2 hours after my baby last nursed or I wouldn't get much milk out. Maybe someone else will have better experience here--and your hospital LCs should definitely be able to help you out with this too. One tip I have for pumping is to think about nursing your baby while you do it to help stimulate let down.

hab83 · May 2014

You might check to see if your pediatrician's office has a lactation nurse. Mine does, and she was, like, my BFF for the first two weeks. I don't remember how often I saw her in that time, but I think it was 4 times maybe. She also had a lot resources for me and let me know about breastfeeding support groups in my area.

SuperTinkerham · May 2014

We took a breastfeeding class. There's also an online class https://www.breastfeedingagreatstart.com/ password is bestforbaby14 Check and see if your hospital has lactation consultants on hand. I was told to not start pumping until around 4 weeks. Edited for grammar. Jeez.

mrscurlygurl · May 2014

I'll just add that even though "it's supposed to be natural," breast feeding is hard and you will likely shed some tears, but THAT IS OKAY. When I was in the hospital with DS, it was actually one of the nurses who finally helped me to get him to latch better as opposed to the LCs (they didn't really spend enough time with me it seemed...or something). Don't be afraid to try many different positions. I felt like the football hold was the best in the beginning, partly because DS was so small. I imagine different positions work better for different shaped breasts too though. Finally, take it one day, one nursing session even, at a time.

Ecomom17 · May 2014

iris427 said:

Csltdk said:

So as a FTM, I have NO IDEA what I am in for with breast feeding. I am so nervous that I will give up too soon becuase it will be difficult. My hosptial will have a lactation specialist but I know you ladies can offer some tips and tricks. Any advice regarding proper latching, pain relief, how do you know the baby is getting enough? Can you pump after you feed? Anything is helpful!

Latching--with a proper latch, your baby should get as much of the areola in their mouth as possible (with a newborn, that can be tough because their mouths are so little and they don't always know to open them up wide enough). You should also see their lips flared--look for "fishy lips." If one of their lips is tucked in, they need to be taken off and latched on again. You should not hear any clicking or sucking noises either--that's a sign of a bad latch. NEVER let your baby nurse with a bad latch. It's tempting sometimes because it can take several tries to get the baby on right, but a bad latch will tear your nipples up. Take them off and put them back on as many times as you need to get the latch right.

Here's a good picture of fishy lips. You can also see that the whole areola is in the baby's mouth here (a newborn may not be able to fit the whole thing, but get as much of the areola as you can in):

One technique that worked for me is to aim the baby's nose and upper lip at the top of your areola--then in order to get the nipple in their mouth, they will have to open their lower jaw nice and wide.

In comparison, here are some incorrect latches: Lips tucked in, areola not in the mouth:

When your baby has a good latch, you will be able to hear them swallowing once your milk gets flowing (this may be harder to hear when you just have colostrum the first few days). Again, you should not hear any other clicking or sucking sounds.

How to know if the baby is getting enough milk: You will be able to tell this two ways: 1) the number of wet diapers they have in a day and 2) how their weight gain is doing. Your doctor and the hospital staff can give you more guidance about how many wet diapers they want to see, and how much they should be gaining. Remember, it's normal for a newborn to lose weight at first--but then they should gain it back, and then some, pretty quickly. Your pediatrician will give you guidance about that.

Pain relief--frozen stuff on my nipples helped me. You can also use lanolin to help prevent your nipples from drying out and cracking. Air drying after a feeding can also help prevent thrush and nipple damage. The BEST thing you can do to prevent nipple pain is work on a good latch. It's normal to have some tenderness the first week even with a good latch, but if the pain is more severe or long-lasting, or your nipples really look cracked/damaged, get help from an LC.

Pumping--I could never get anything from pumping after a feeding so I may not be the best person to answer this. I always had to time a pumping session 1-2 hours after my baby last nursed or I wouldn't get much milk out. Maybe someone else will have better experience here--and your hospital LCs should definitely be able to help you out with this too. One tip I have for pumping is to think about nursing your baby while you do it to help stimulate let down.

This is a FANTASTIC overview. I second using cold stuff to relieve pain. I didn't know it at the time but turns out I had vasospasms during a lot of the time I was BFing (during the 1st year, mostly) and cold packs helped a lot (I used Earth Mama Angel Baby's Booby Tubes, but you can just use regular ice packs). I also really recommend EMAB's nipple butter; it's really soothing. Lanolin is good too and especially for pumping; at first no one bothered to tell me that you need to use lanolin when you pump b/c holy hell the friction hurts esp. at first.

Oh, I also second kellymom.com Absolutely amazing website. And the BFing board is also very helpful.

I made the mistake of doing exactly what iris says not to: I wasn't insistent enough on correcting DS's latch. His mouth was tiny so at first it was literally impossible for him to get a proper latch but I should've made him open as wide as he could from the get-go.

Make use of the LC's at the hospital and if they don't seem like the right fit for you, find another one. Go to a breastfeeding clinic. I also highly recommend going to a BF class before you give birth. If baby's weight gain ends up being a concern, they will do weighed feedings at the clinic. Weigh baby, you feed him/her, then weigh baby again to see how much milk she's getting.

Also, I think you are right to expect that it will likely be hard. I wish there was less sugarcoating about how hard BFing really is. Sometimes it sucks (no pun intended, haha). If you go into it expecting that you could face difficulties but know that you want to stay committed to it, you're more likely to stick with it. And once you troubleshoot any issues, it really is a magical thing. And you might be one of those lucky ones who doesn't have much trouble at all! BF is what I'm looking forward to the most this time around b/c now I've been through the really tough part and know how to deal with it.

Csltdk · May 2014

Thanks all! Great advice

jnnfrrose6 · May 2014

@iris427‌ really covered a lot of it. I also agree with PPs about asking for a different LC if you don't like the one you see. I had one visit me the first day who insisted I need to start pumping because DS was to getting enough. The next day a different one followed up and she was so mush more kind and patient and made me feel much more confident about it. Out pediatrician also has an LC in staff, so I was able to check in with her during our first few checkups just to make sure everything looked good. That was definitely reassuring in the middle of the night when it's hard and it hurts and you just don't know if you've got the groove. Knowing that the LC had seen me "at work" and had no latch or supply issues and that women have been doing it for thousands of years really helped me be stubborn about making it work for us.

marsalisails · May 2014

All of the advice that PP gave is wonderful. I would also add that even though you are new at this, you have to listen to your own instincts/intuition as well, since everyone's situation IS different, and only you know yours best.

For instance, TWO separate lactation consultants told me to wake DS up every two hours to eat. That I had to feed him 10-12 times a day for him to thrive. I would, and then it would take me an extra 45 minutes to an hour to latch him properly. I cried and cried. I saw both LCs in this time, and neither of them knew what to do with us. I also saw an ENT because they thought he was slightly tongue tied, so they clipped his tongue a bit to help him.

So after about 2 weeks of crying and DS not gaining a ton of weight (thank God his pediatrician was supportive of BF, or else I would have been pressured about that), my DH said "if he's not latching until an hour after you wake him up, maybe he's just not hungry every 2 hours. Don't wake him up and wait longer and see what happens".

Long-story-long, we stopped waking him and gave him less feedings a day and he started latching right away and he ended up doubling his birth weight by 3months...which evidently is FAST.

We knew that something wasn't right, but the "experts" were telling us the "rules" and so we went with it thinking that was gospel. No one rule fits all...be calm and listen to what the baby is telling you too

Allison546 · May 2014

Great advice in this thread. Pain is normal in the beginning... Don't think just because it hurts you are doing it wrong... I think that's the biggest misconception. Nipples need to adjust, but it does get better and should be pain-free after a month or so max. I was still experiencing some pain after this but it was manageable.. Turns out DS was tongue-tied, so we got it clipped and it made a difference. (And the procedure was so not as bad or scary as it sounds.. Took 5 seconds and DS cried for less than a minute).

Sticking it out reaps rewards! If you can get through the tough first few weeks it will all be worth it.

AutumnBonfire · May 2014

I agree with not being concerned with textbook timelines. Sometimes DS wanted to eat a lot sooner than 2-3 hours, sometimes not. Learn your own baby's patterns.

DS was very slow to gain weight and I was very stressed out over that. His pedi wanted me to pump after feedings and bottle feed him what I pumped. I got maybe half an ounce. He would spit it right back up. It wasn't worth it. DS just grows slowly and is on the smaller size. As long as your baby is happy, healthy looking, has wet diapers, and seems satisfied, don't worry about whether or not he's eating enough.

I worked with the lactation consultants at the hospital and at the pediatrician's office who both helped me a lot. The nurses at the hospital weren't very helpful. One tried to push DS on my breast and even I knew it was incorrect. She said that we would have to formula feed since it wasn't working. I called the lactation consultant, who helped me latch and said he was doing great. So if you don't like someone, find someone else.

As for pain, I had nipple pain, but not whole breast soreness. I used Medela nipple cream.

rubyredlucy · May 2014

Nursing was the hardest part about my first three months with DD, but once things finally worked it was absolutely all worth it. Our problem was that she could not get the correct latch on my right side. Left side- no problem from day one. But right side was practically impossible. I think it's because I'm left handed and holding her on that side was more natural, so I couldn't get her in a good position on the other side. I had to hold her in the football hold to get her on the right, and the latch was never right so my nipples were torn up. That caused so much pain that it prevented a proper latch, which caused more pain....it was a never-ending cycle.

It took a long time to heal enough that I didn't have pain when she first latched, but I got a prescription for APNO (all-purpose nipple ointment) that helped me heal (amazing stuff!), and I stuck it out because I was determined to nurse. And once she was a little bigger, I was more comfortable holding her, and my nipples healed, it was the easiest thing in the world.

Looking back, I wish I had been more proactive about meeting with a LC after we left the hospital. I saw one when we were in the hospital, but it wasn't enough. I should have tried again, and I probably could have avoided months of pain. I won't make that mistake this time around if I have trouble again!

On the other hand, my sister had no problems nursing from day one. We should all be so lucky.

marsalisails · May 2014

@AutumnBonfire‌ - good point. Sometimes as he was going through a growth spurt, I would be on the couch all day without a shirt on because he wanted to eat every hour! Then the very next day he would eat every three. .. babies don't make sense!

TexasGirl81 · May 2014

Matthew930 said:
@AutumnBonfire‌ - good point. Sometimes as he was going through a growth spurt, I would be on the couch all day without a shirt on because he wanted to eat every hour! Then the very next day he would eat every three. .. babies don't make sense!

L would sometimes go (mostly in the newborn stage) for 1 1/2 hours or 2 hours. It was crazy! Mostly comfort feeding I guess. Just be prepared sometimes to be stuck in the same place for a while.

Get your phone, reading material, snacks and whatever else you will want with you during that eating session.

rubyredlucy · May 2014

Oh, if you are ever having trouble and find yourself getting upset and stressed, that'll just make it harder. One of my worst moments was one morning when DD was about a week old. I couldn't get her to latch on and I got so worked up because I felt like feeding her was the one thing I was supposed to be able to do and I just couldn't do it right.

I had to hand DD off to DH for 20 minutes, and I took a long, warm shower. It was amazing how much of a difference that shower made! I was able to relax a bit, the warm water soothed my engorgement and got the milk flowing, and I came back in much better shape and finally got her to latch. It's amazing how much a warm shower can help when you're at the end of your rope

darkangel42 · May 2014

No technique info to add but some general advice that serves well:

1 - if you don't get it straight away, that's ok. You and baby are both learning a new thing and it might take you a while to get into the same groove.

2 - have a cushion or nursing pillow handy because it will make you soooo much more comfortable wedged where needed (under baby, under your arm, behind your back for you to lean on) and comfortable Mom is happier Mom so everyone wins.

3 - you can always ask for help, however stupid you think the question is/however small you think the concern is. LCs, midwives, doc/paeds doc/nurse, friends or family with kids are all valuable resources even after you've gone home.

4 - learn to eat/drink one-handed. If you sit down to feed with a sandwich and a cup of tea nearby, you can get both things done at once without having to sacrifice your own lunch needs.

melissaquinn106 · May 2014

This all is so informative and makes me feel better about my attempts to BF my first little baby. I do have a question about pumping extra milk. I've heard a couple of conflicting stories where you should wait a month or so to pump and others saying that you should try and start pumping right away to build up a stash of breast milk. The idea here is that yor body will only produce enough milk as you need and if you start by doing one extra session of pumping from the beginning then your body will produce one extra feeding session from the beginning making it easier to build up a stash of breast milk. Anyone with any experience with this? How many feeding a do you typically do in a day, and is it hard to fit in an extra pumping session? Any advise/opinions would be helpful...

Allison546 · May 2014

melissaquinn106 said:
This all is so informative and makes me feel better about my attempts to BF my first little baby. I do have a question about pumping extra milk. I've heard a couple of conflicting stories where you should wait a month or so to pump and others saying that you should try and start pumping right away to build up a stash of breast milk. The idea here is that yor body will only produce enough milk as you need and if you start by doing one extra session of pumping from the beginning then your body will produce one extra feeding session from the beginning making it easier to build up a stash of breast milk. Anyone with any experience with this? How many feeding a do you typically do in a day, and is it hard to fit in an extra pumping session? Any advise/opinions would be helpful...

I would say stay away from the pump until at least a month in. You'll have plenty of time to build a stash if you need one later. For the first month, focus on getting the hang of nursing.. It's hard enough without worrying about pumping also!!

Having said that, I did break out the pump when my milk first came in because I was so engorged and needed relief... DS was not emptying my breasts and I had so much milk. But that's not the case for everyone. I think I had an oversupply so didn't have any problem pumping milk later on. Just see how it goes and how your supply is. But don't force the pump...
I think that's just added stress.

marsalisails · May 2014

melissaquinn106 said:
This all is so informative and makes me feel better about my attempts to BF my first little baby. I do have a question about pumping extra milk. I've heard a couple of conflicting stories where you should wait a month or so to pump and others saying that you should try and start pumping right away to build up a stash of breast milk. The idea here is that yor body will only produce enough milk as you need and if you start by doing one extra session of pumping from the beginning then your body will produce one extra feeding session from the beginning making it easier to build up a stash of breast milk. Anyone with any experience with this? How many feeding a do you typically do in a day, and is it hard to fit in an extra pumping session? Any advise/opinions would be helpful...

Be careful with pumping straight off, because it may cause an oversupply problem. I had an under supply problem, so I pumped after each session with DS to make my breasts think I needed to produce more. Once your supply is established, its not such a big deal.

hab83 · May 2014

I had to pump in the beginning to help build up my supply. As far as when to nurse/how many feedings, I let my DD decide that and nursed on demand. That also helped my supply match her needs.

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