Babies: 3 - 6 Months

how long should i let baby try to "self soothe" at night?

My LO has been getting up during the night and sometimes before it is even time to eat again. I have been trying to let her self soothe herself back to sleep but i am not sure how long to let her try. For example- last night she went down at 9:30- she woke up at 12:30 for a feeding (usually she does not wake up again until 5) but this time she woke up at 3:30. I heard her stirring (she sleeps in a bassinet by the bed) and i decided to wait to see if she could put herself back to sleep. She started to whine a little more then nothing. i peeked over and it looked like she was back to sleep. Then again she started to stir and whine. Not crying just grunts and whimpers. She cont to do this off an on for about 10 minutes before i picked her up, nursed her, and put her back to sleep without anything further. How long should i wait to let her self soothe? She isnt out right crying but the more she whines and whimpers the more she starts to wake herself up. Advice?

Re: how long should i let baby try to "self soothe" at night?

  • arheinsarheins member
    She is 24 weeks. My husband thinks i am spoiling her by picking her up whenever she wakes but if she is awake i am awake. So my thinking is the quicker i get her up, fed, changed and laid back down the faster i can get back to sleep also. 
  • dglvrk2dglvrk2 member

    I recall my first daughter STTN from four months to six months. A week shy of six months, she started waking at least twice a night for feedings (midnight and 4 am ish), even though she was eating a lot during the day.  I'm certain it was a growth spurt.  By seven months, she was back to STTN....for two months :-)

    Ten minutes seems like a fine amount of time to let a 24 week old self soothe. 

    For tiny humans, they make A LOT of noise. What are your thoughts about putting her in her own room?  It's totally personal and, IMO, shouldn't be done until the parents are ready for the transition.  My second daughter is four months old.  I know she makes lots of noises in her sleep.  A recent hotel room stay with her reminded me of this quite thoroughly!  However, I sleep through all of these since she's in her own room, next door to ours.  Of course, if she cries, we check on her etc. But not hearing the grunts etc., I think, makes sleeping much easier for all of us.

    And, no, you're NOT spoiling her :-)

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  • You can't spoil a baby this age


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  • arheins said:
    She is 24 weeks. My husband thinks i am spoiling her by picking her up whenever she wakes but if she is awake i am awake. So my thinking is the quicker i get her up, fed, changed and laid back down the faster i can get back to sleep also. 
    This is the problem. You're bot giving her a chance to figure it out on her own. If you do it for her, she'll never learn to fall asleep on her own, or not anytime soon at least ;)
  • roo1ooroo1oo member
    edited May 2014
    With my LO at 24 weeks I would not pick him up/feed him unless he was crying. I would let him fuss for as long as it took to either fall asleep or work into a full cry. For the "OMG Don't let your baby cry!" crazies, let me highlight it. I would let my baby FUSS for as long as it took, but the moment it turned into a full cry, I WOULD PICK HIM UP. 

    Personal feeling, you are not giving her the chance to self soothe, you are intervening before she gets the chance. 
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  • New here :) I tend to let my 4 month old fuss for about 10 minutes before going into her room.  She has restless moments during her sleep cycle as well.  I never let her cry it out, just toss and turn a little and if she doesn't appear to be going back to sleep (video monitors are great), I go in and soothe her.  She's not a fan of the paci, so rubbing her belly or holding her hand will often work if she's in the crib or I take her out and rock her back to sleep if she doesn't appear to be hungry.  
    Meet DH in 2008 - Engaged on 4.11.2011 - Married on 9.22.2012 - BFP on 5.10.2013 - DD born via emergency c-section on 1.23.2014 


  • If I hear grumbling, I leave him, but he doesn't do much of what you're describing from your DD. It's basically either grumble for five minutes then nothing, or grumbling that escalates to yelling/crying, which is when I always get him. I probably would only go for ten minutes max in your situation, too.
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  • edited June 2014
    My 5 month old has been doing this lately. All of a sudden she's awake but not crying and doesn't want to eat just making noises and rolling around. We have her in our room so I usually just let her lay there making her little noises until she starts crying or making her screeching noise (which she does when she's happy and not mad she thinks it's funny), I just can't sleep when she's making that noise so I pick her up. I don't think you can spoil a baby that age. if she was 2 and doing it she would stay in bed but she's not doing it for attention at this age. usually though I wait about 15-20 minutes to see if she'll go back to sleep


    my niece was a talker in her sleep though so at first when we would hear her on the monitor we would rush in the room only to find her sound asleep. finally we realized she's just making noises so we could kind of ignore it unless she was screaming/crying
  • I wait and see if the little grunts start to escalate into cries.  It's pretty common for LO to squirm, kick, and flail his arms around, but still fall back asleep in a few minutes.  If he's actually awake, it's pretty obvious in about 5 minutes.  I might be a little bit more relaxed about this than other people though.
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