FTM- when does it get easier?

brooksfam4 · May 2014

My LO is 8 days old and I really do love him too pieces. I guess I'm just really anxious about everything. I didn't realize the lack of sleep would be so hard. I'm breastfeeding and it's going wonderful. I just feel like all I do is nurse. Life has suddenly changed drastically for me since having a baby. Does it get easier and just fall in place for you guys? Would love to know I'm not alone.

kalette · May 2014

Yes, it gets way easier. I can't tell you exactly when, but it does. I think with my DD it was around 3 months and it just kept getting better from there. Shes 2 now and so incredible and awesome.I love 2.

zoeylove · May 2014

I was feeling this way and I wasn't even breastfeeding (which is supposed to be less time between feedings). It was a hard adjustment for us. There was a lot of bickering between my husband and I due to my recovery, my LO crying constantly, and our inexperience as parents. My LO is now 6 weeks old and all I can say is that it definitely gets easier so hang in there. There will always be something to worry about but you wont feel as horrible as you do in the beginning.

*sparky* · May 2014

The first few weeks are rough but it does get so much better. Suddenly you will get 6 hours of straight sleep one night and you will feel like a million bucks. You definitely adjust to the lack of sleep and you will also start feeling more comfortable and relaxed.

flcl · May 2014

Congratulations! What a whirlwind huh? Hang in there, it does get easier. Just take things day by day (hour by hour if needed)... these first few weeks will seem to move in slow motion but at the same time, will be over before you realize it. You're in survival mode right now and I promise, you will survive. I felt like once I figured something out, there was a new issue to problem solve. Whenever LO hits a growth spurt and needed to be nursed or cuddled all day I just try to switch my mindset and remind myself he won't be this little forever...it helps me enjoy all the extra snuggle time. We definitely still have rough patches here and there but things got so much better for us around 6-7 weeks. GL, you can do it!

Kriztyn · May 2014

Yes!! We are approaching 5 weeks now... and it is SO much better... you learn their cries... they start sleeping longer periods at night... but the feeding every 2 hours is still very time consuming for me. But that's what maternity leave is for, right?

brooksfam4 · May 2014

Thanks so much everyone. It helps a lot knowing I'm not alone! Hubby and I are so used to this little lifestyle and routine we had.. That it's hard to adjust. Especially on little to no sleep! I'll just keep reminding myself it does get better. I'm trying not to wish this age away bc I will look back and see how it flew by.

Thanks again for the support!!

SarahMeyer0823 · May 2014

I'd say the first month is SO HARD. It was for us. You really don't realize how hard sleep is to give up until you have to give it up. There were times when the baby would be crying and I'd be so exhausted, I'd be crying. My poor husband was great and was such a big support. Breastfeeding is incredibly hard, but so rewarding and worth it. My LO is 9 weeks old now. I'm now back to work and pumping. My son is sleeping through most nights.

It gets easier! And remember to sleep when the baby sleeps!

Roeni · May 2014

The first month was hard but it gets easier each week. My 10 week old is now sleeping 7 hours at night. Around 6 weeks he started doing 4-5 hour stretches at night. I read you should try to get a bedtime routine down, even something little. That helped us. At first it was just changing into his nightgown and rocking him, then I noticed his cues for getting tired (voice changes and rubbing eyes) so I could put him down without a fight. This may not be permanent but it's working now and I'm getting rest.

Avion22 · May 2014

There was no one day that I woke up and it was suddenly easier, but it has slowly gotten easier over time. I think for me it's been tied to getting him to sleep longer at night, which is tied to getting his weight up. So at every nursing session, I think about how it's making him bigger so he can sleep for longer. We got our first stretch of 5 hours last night :-)

savedgracie · May 2014

I'm a ftm and breastfeeding too, and no one could ever prepare us for how hard it actually is. I have been assured time and time again that everything we are feeling is normal. Even thoughts that you're scared you don't like motherhood, etc. They will go away in time, I read an article somewhere that said the average is about 3-4 months. I know that seems like forever away, but just wait, soon you'll have the first smile, and they'll stare into your eyes. All of those things help remind us why we chose to have this sweet babes.

And it's ok to admit that babies are hard. It doesn't change our love for them.

BBS! · May 2014

I posted something similar maybe 13 months ago. I have a 15 month old and while it's never easy you enjoy it so much more. We sleep 13 hours a night and spend the weekends doing fun stuff like going to parks and beaches. I'd say our honey moon period took off at 7 months and it was so hard before then. But so worth it too. It's supposed to be hard so never feel guilty for feeling that way.

jessib10 · May 2014

IDK.. In respect to sleep, it gets easier... But I'd say there are things about every age that I wasn't prepared for. My oldest daughter turns 9 this June, and while everyone warned me time would fly by too quickly and to cherish every moment I'm still finding myself in disbelief at how quickly it really has gone. My little girl is becoming a young lady, and in 9 more short years she'll be a legal adult. I think I may try to stir up some political change in regards to the legal age. I'm pretty sure it should be changed to 30.

cnbean · May 2014

With my first I noticed a pretty dramatic difference at about 3 months. It seemed that once we hit that age things got much easier. Hang in there!

shellpie84 · May 2014

Your only 8 days pp so your hormones are still playing havoc on your body plus your world has suddenly turned upside down so give yourself a huge break. The hormones should be gone by 2-3 weeks pp so that will help a lot. I definitely remember what your going through, your baby is the best and the worst thing you've ever done! I found each stage made it better till dd was a year and then I felt like a huge load was lifted off my shoulder. At 6 weeks you'll get a little more sleep so that helps. Then when you get those first smiles that makes a huge difference because you get some payback for all the work and all you've sacrificed. Then when they are more mobile it gets better. It gets so much better! Just give it time.

SandiaLiz · May 2014

It get so much easier! It will never be easy, but the first few weeks are such a crazy blur!

And I have to second what shellpie84 said, baby blues are NO JOKE! Weeks 2 - 4 I cried every single evening around 7:00 regardless of how the day went, or anything actually happening or being wrong. I felt so trapped and overwhelmed. Thank goodness it didn't progress to postpartum depression (but that is something to watch for).

I found that getting out of the house every day made a world of difference, even just a walk around the park or to drive through and get a cherry lime aid. And every day I got a little bit better at reading what baby needed and doing all the baby stuff.

We are almost 2 months out and it is still challenging (especially those days and nights when you feel trapped on the couch under a baby) but I just try to enjoy the cuddles. And get a Netflix subscription if you don't have one!

killette · May 2014

My LO is 8 days old today.

The last two nights were pretty rough. Last night she woke up at 1:30 am and was up and fussy until after 6. I fed her 4 times during this 4 and 1/2 hour period and it seemed like she was never happy. I was falling asleep nursing I was so wiped out.

Obviously she's worth all the trouble, but I am glad to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

singingsea · May 2014

The first two months are like navy seal training. I wish someone would have told me that. I was basically in survival mode. On the sleep front - reach out to people. My mom would come over and watch DS so I could take a nap. Also I know it's hard to do but sleep when the baby sleeps. Don't worry about chores, laundry, anything like that. Your house is going to fall to shit and there's nothing you can do about it.

Things got easier for me around four months. DS started sleeping for 7 hours straight at night. Just know It does get better and soon you'll be a ninja

hordol · May 2014

My DS will be one month old tomorrow and although we are still in the challenging part, I can tell you it's already so much easier than it was at one or two weeks postpartum. So just hang in there!

pmattingly927 · May 2014

I felt the same way as a FTM. I was so tired and I just couldn't believe how tiring it was. Nothing can prepare you for that and no one really told me it was going to be that way, but now here I am 2 months later giving someone else advice and it will get easier. Definitely by 2 months if not before. My LO was 4 weeks premature so he's a little behind on the sleeping and eating schedule, however I like to say he's 4 weeks advanced. He will be 11 weeks Tuesday and he just started sleeping pretty much through the night the last 2 nights. It's the best feeling!! Just to get 4-5 hours of sleep is an amazing feeling. There were times when I felt like a walking zombie and just out of it, but your body adjusts and so will your baby!! Hang in there and you're doing a great job!!!:)

BBColt78 · May 2014

I've been lurking the board since I'll be here soon enough and your post just brought back my FTM experience.

The best part about getting ready to have your second child is that you KNOW for SURE that the newborn stage will end and you will sleep someday. Those first weeks were awful. DH and I were living our life in shifts and the baby literally took over. I didn't know how to shower or even when I'd have time to pay the bills. And as the other said, those baby blues suck big time.

You've gotten great advice here, but it will get better. And we can't say enough, it goes by so fast. My DD is already three and I remember her newborn stage. So cute. You can't get those days back.

Good luck and hang in there!

HobokensFury · May 2014

LO is 9 weeks old and it has started to get easier. He's sleeping through the night most nights and if he does wake up it's for a quick change and bottle then he goes right back to sleep.

iJustCant10 · May 2014

FTM here and newbie to the board, but my LO is 11 weeks old and I can say it DEFINITELY gets easier. I can't say that it was extremely difficult for me (LO has always been such a great sleeper and an easy baby), but I can say that the little things get better and better as the weeks progress. He has slept 10 hrs straight for the past week. His personality is showing more and more every day, and he's smiling and "talking" much more than ever. He still gets fussy, don't get me wrong, but I know his cries and his cues now, so it's much easier to calm him down.

I second what PP said about a bedtime routine. I think this helped my situation a ton. At 8:30 we have a bath, then I lotion him up and talk to him for a while, then he gets his bottle of BM, and then I hold him until he falls asleep (which is usually really quick). I'd say he is in his crib soundly sleeping by 9:30 about 95% of the time. The bath helps to relax him and start the "sleep mode" and then the bottle and cuddling sets it in.

Keep your head up! There's a light at the end of the tunnel

Tassie06 · May 2014

STM here. The first 2-3 weeks are the hardest. Hang in there it will get easier.

norab2684 · May 2014

I'm 11 days pp and I feel your pain! No one tells you how hard it really is. It certainly is the hardest thing I have ever done. The encouraging words on here definitely help.
I am also struggling a bit with the isolation of this. It's so hard to be unable to come and go as I once did. I realize this comes with the territory but any advice in coping with this would be greatly appreciated!

katlai · May 2014

So glad to hear all this. I literally thought I might be going a bit nuts but so happy to hear that it gets better with day and week. So excited to get more sleep hopefully. LO is 13 days old today and hopefully it'll only get easier from here.

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