How hard is it to be pregnant while being in grad school and working full time?

danielleT1120 · May 2014

So my husband and I really want to start TTC around Aug/Sep. of this year. However, I am terrified that pregnancy will be difficult and then I will have a hard time coping with teaching high school full time and going to online grad school as well (I will finish my Master's in May hopefully). I have extreme anxiety issues but for the past year or so I have improved a lot and have been able to cope really well. So in that sense, I feel like it may be okay. I have just heard so many horror stories like you won't be able to do anything while you're pregnant because you'll feel so bad.

I guess all I am asking is, is it feasible to be pregnant and still go on with lots of responsibilities? Because I HAVE to be in grad school and work at the same time, it is not an option otherwise.

I think it gives me even more anxiety to think about holding off and waiting to TTC until next year. I don't want to wait that long, and neither does hubby.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

OP I know waiting sucks but it sounds like something that you're just going to have to do. School and work are exhausting without being pregnant. Even if you have an easy pregnancy what you described will still be really tough.You mentioned that you have extreme anxiety issues. Speaking as a person with anxiety issues putting myself under that type of pressure would be like creating my own personal hell. Waiting another year will be hard but I think that it'll make TTC much more pleasant for you.

lebradford · May 2014

How much work do you bring home (or how late do you stay) for teaching? How many classes do you take at a time for grad school?

I think it would be pretty tough, because you'll be really tired (probably) even in early pregnancy. If you have minimal after school (work) obligations and can take 1 class at a time, you could probably swing it.

I was a single mom from the time my son was born until he was about 10. During that time I went to school FT and worked part time, just worked FT, worked FT and went to school (on campus) PT, and one semester I even worked FT and went to school FT. With the exception of working FT and going to school FT simultaneously, it was all tiring, but manageable. The semester I did that was completely awful though. (I'm a teacher too, btw.)

So, it's not ideal, but it's definitely possible if you don't want to put off TTC. There's no guarantee you'll get pregnant right away either, and going to school might be a good distraction in the meantime.

ks3pink · May 2014

I would put off ttc until Next June when you are finished with your masters. My plan was to get my masters while pregnant with/raising my second child because I got my bachelors while raising my first and thought "no big deal". Well I got pregnant with twins, it wasn't conceivable to start school while pregnant with twins and now two years later I still haven't started and probably won't for at least another year or two. I may seem like it but a year really isn't all that long to wait. I say finish school and then start your family. You will be very thankful that school is behind you and you can focus on your family and career.

(I am also a high school teacher and now that that alone can be extremely tiring and stressful. School and kids just seems daunting!)

annibes · May 2014

I don't know. Every situation is different. I worked and went to school while I was pregnant with DS and it was fine. I went to grad school when DS was 3 weeks old and that was really hard but we made it through. I started a PhD program while working a full time job when DS was 3 and ended up exhausting myself to the point that it took several months to climb out of the sleep hole I was in. Something had to give- and it absolutely wasn't going to be DS, and I like having money so I didn't want to quit working. So school is on hold indefinitely. It really depends on he situation.

ILoveBoys · May 2014

I don't think she's trying to downplay anything. I think WCIBN is just trying to point out that unless the poster TRULY has the gritty details about what her sister did or didn't go through, she should pass her story off as rainbows and butterflies.

OP, you need to truly plan for the worst and think if you could still work and do school if you have severe morning sickness. What if you're on bed rest? These things may not happen but you just don't know.

eevieemariee · May 2014

I'm went to a regular state college full time and worked full time at a high stress job. I ended up in the hospital for 3 days and nights with a mysterious and stubborn infection in my joints. Needless to say, I flunked out that semester. But I also suffer from metal illnesses (bipolar depression). I thought i could be a wife, employee, mother to fur babies, housekeeper, and a student. My body did not. Everybody is different. Everybody has their own struggles and motivators. I'm not saying it would be impossible, but I cannot imagine it being easy either.

Anewton1787 · May 2014

I'm also a high school teacher, grad student and TTC! Thanks for all the good insight! The only advice that I can give right now (because I'm not preg) is use your schools summer and winter inter session courses, they are intense but quick and those are times you have free from work anyway! That's what I do! I even take second semester off each year to complete all my MCAS alt. Binders for my students! I'm pretty anal when it comes to keeping my GPA at a 4.0 (since my undergrad was pathetic!) so if I can do it, anyone can! Oh, and use your lunch break as homework time :-) good luck! Oh, and ps....my normal bedtime is 9:00 pm lol

lebradford · May 2014

b0710 said:
I am a high school teacher, and I did go to school for my masters while pregnant with my first. He was born one month after (September) I finished my masters program (August'). I did not find it hard to do both, but I had a wonderfully easy pregnancy. I also had my thesis work during the summer, while not teaching. Similarly, my most difficult/uncomfortable/largest months of pregnancy were in the summer as well. If you have any pregnancy complications at all, your whole plan of finishing your masters will be put on hold. I would highly recommend waiting a few months at least. If you're trying to plan for the end of school/early summer baby, I honestly would just wait until the next year. Since you already mentioned you're concerned about anxiety, adding a pregnancy to finishing your masters will not make it any easier.

The rest of what you said makes sense, but this part? Just, no. I started TTC in September (would have been due in June) and here I am, months later, still not pregnant. Trying to pick a due date for yourself is nearly impossible. I get waiting if you won't be ready by a certain date, but I wouldn't wait just to aim for summer, because you might totally miss it anyway.

mm529 · May 2014

Waiting sucks. I know, I'm right there also. It sounds like you want to get pregnant so bad that you are willing to make life incredibly hard for yourself. While there is no perfect time to have a baby, why in the world would you want to try and stack that on top of a full time job and grad work? You finish in May. That's only a year away and you can't wait that long? It might take that long (or longer) to even get pregnant, even for healthy couples.

When I first decided I wanted to TTGP I had a baby fever BAD. It probably didn't help that I spent loads of time here lurking and learning all about TTC. I chilled out over time. Sure, I still desperately want a baby, but I know this is the smarter plan for my family (I'm a grad student too, PhD).

Good luck figuring out whats best for you.

Susanrush13 · May 2014

Lurking from the June board but honestly, a lot of what these ladies are saying is true. I would personally wait until May when you're done but that's just me. I'm 30 and had a very unplanned pregnancy in Sept. I worked full time in a city 2 hrs from me and am a full time grad student that had to deal with finals at 36 weeks and on perm bed rest. I had a pretty smooth 1st and 2nd trimester in terms of sickness but my 3rd has been one thing after another, and this is all stuff you can't predict.

Plus, sometimes when you're doing homework, it takes every ounce of concentration that you don't have to get it done and that creates anxiety. And you're so tired by the end that staying up late to finish projects is close to impossible. Now I wouldn't trade this baby or my pregnancy for anything and I'm excited to have him in a few days but this shit was hard from my perspective.

Wine&Cupcakes · May 2014

I can't speak to the difficulty, but your situation is what I'm embarking on this year.

DH and I are planning to TTC in August and I will be beginning an NP program part-time in September. I also work 42hrs/week.

It's not ideal, but a bad back injury has me moving up my master's program because most traditional nursing jobs are too taxing on my body. School is 3-4 years part time so I don't want to wait until I'm 35 to TTC my first. That being said, my courses are 1 day/week, I'm planning to cut back to part time work, and once a kid is in the mix, I may just do 1 shift/week or two. Either way, I have some flexibility. If my pregnancy is awful, I'll remove myself from school and go from there.

Point is: I have flexibility, childcare (via my mom), and we are financially stable even if I'm not working. Plus, I have some flexibility with schooling. Not ideal, but I'm sure you can make it work if you want to. You wouldn't be the first or last. It just may be reallly painful.

However, if my program was only a year like yours, I would just wait.

Also, I did school online for my BSN. I took 21 credits/semester which was awful, but TOTALLY doable. If your program is online I don't think it will be too difficult - not having to show up and being able to have the flexibility an online environment creates will be very helpful. Again, you never know, if you are exhausted/so nauseous you can't even stay awake, school will be difficult. If you have a preemie, it will cut into your courses. You never know. Just have a Plan A AND B in place if you do decide to TTC now instead of wait.

trcollins10 · June 2014

I just finished my first year of vet school and I'm 26 so I will be almost 30 by the time I graduate. My husband and I have discussed trying to conceive in September to October for a summer baby between 2nd and 3rd year (which will be my last summer off of school) so I can spend a couple months with baby before starting school again. Vet school is very stressful, I'm there from 6am to 9pm most days, I work overnights on the weekends at the school's hospital, and it is very demanding, but several people have children a year so it can be done. If we don't conceive at that time we'll have to wait until a couple years after I graduate and even then adoption might be a better option since I'll be doing a lot of large animal. Do what is best for you and your family. Only you can tell if it is something you can handle. I have lots of friends and family near and my husband's job is pretty flexible, otherwise I doubt we could make this an option.

Ladymouse · June 2014

Personally, in your situation, I'd wait until December to TTC. Of course, I am not privy to the nuances of the situation, and have never been a grad student or a teacher. Pregnancy was easier for me when I was busy - harder for me to think about everything that could go wrong.

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How hard is it to be pregnant while being in grad school and working full time?

Re: How hard is it to be pregnant while being in grad school and working full time?

DX (me): Inborn error of metabolism - protein restriction, metabolic formula & weekly blood tests

DNA Results (7/1): DH is NOT a carrier for my genetic disorder!

7/3: Metabolic clinic gave the green light to TTC - holy crap!

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