Random thoughts in my head...

lisaren · May 2014

I had appt this morning with my MW and she prescribed me Ativan for anxiety, yes!
Anyways I said I wanted my tubes tied again and she said are you sure? And I started crying, and she hugged me and we just sat there for a second...

She said that the chances of another trisomy happening is almost zero. It could, but I have the same chances as any other woman my age.
She said give it 8 weeks then regroup and think what we want to do...

In my mind this was it. There was never another option. But now I don't know. Is it crazy??
I'll be closer to 40. Can my heart handle another heart break?

My H talked after the appt and we agreed to talk again in August.
But is it weird to keep everything a secret from everyone around us if we do decide to move forward with another baby??

I'm rambling. You don't even need to respond.

I'm not sure how I feel one way or the other, but I feel empty. I yearn for a baby. I know it's been 6 days. So we will see.

Sigh...

hiketheworld · May 2014

I can understand why you have so many thoughts and emotions about this issue, particularly after what you've been through. It makes sense to give it some time before you make a decision. You don't have to tell anyone about your decision to either have or not have another baby. It is a decision for you and your husband only. We will all support you no matter what!

lisaren · May 2014

FhSTAR81 said:
::hugs:: would you ever consider adoption if you're worried because of your age?

I don't know. If we did we would do a special needs child. But I don't know. Never really thought about it.

It's weird having your fertility staring you down.

lisaren · May 2014

And on another note I had my hair highlighted and I tanned today. I drank a nice cold corona with a lime last night

Maelara · May 2014

I think you two are doing a very smart thing by waiting. It's all still to raw to make that sort of decision. If you want to talk to people in your life about it, I say do it. Maybe your BFF would have some valuable insight? If you want to keep it a secret, then do so! Most people don't usually know a couple is trying anyway

If you do decided you want another baby, don't let your age weigh too heavily. You're a fantastic mom and any baby would be lucky to have you.

Lots if hugs and loves (hope you don't mind I stole that from you) for you!!

jess123456 · May 2014

Hugs to you Lisa.

wildflower75 · May 2014

Sending LOVE and HUGS your way...
Take it One day at a time...

kjmommy1214 · May 2014

you are giving yourself and YH time to think.

I agree with PPs. You don't need to tell anyone if you decide to try again. We didn't tell anyone either time. I didn't want the pressure, and frankly, it was none of their business what I was doing with my uterus.

Many hugs and much love headed your way!

mander82 · May 2014

Big hugs to you Lisa. I agree that waiting is probably a good idea. Don't get your tubes tied again unless you are 100% sure thats what you want. If you have any doubt, then waiting is the right thing to do.

There are plenty of temporary birth control options in the mean time. None as convenient, I am sure, but they are options nontheless.

Glad to hear you got to enjoy a beer and some pampering! Thats awesome

JamieK1882 · May 2014

No advice just hugs. I agree taking time is a good idea. I wouldn't let age stand in your way.

cindyNmark2010 · May 2014

I think waiting to decide is a smart decision, and I think it is a beautiful thing that you and YH would adopt a special needs child. Hugs and best wishes to you.

abbyful · May 2014

((hugs))

I agree to wait a few months before making any decisions.

emoxymoose · May 2014

Much love to you as you start thinking about this process again, I hope the answers become more clear to you and glad to hear your enjoying life as much as possible in the meantime. So very jealous of that nice warm tanning bed.

silverwings72 · May 2014

I don't have any advice but I do have empathy for you and your hubby. I love that you guys talked about it and are so open with another. It sounds like he is really respectful of your needs right now. Also, you DO NOT sound crazy, you sound like a Mama who is healing. Blessings to you as you continue your healing process.

Edited: because words are hard today.

dbgwife · May 2014

(((Hugs))) I think it's wise to take some time and really think. You've been through a lot!

runningmama14 · May 2014

Lots of love being sent your way. I'll be honest, when you posted about hanging your uterus up, I totally understood. At the same time, I was a sad too. I don't think there is a wrong decision here. Waiting it out a bit seems like a very wise thing to do.

To comment on the adoption front too. Obviously I have a huge heart for adoption, and I would never try to talk someone out of it. Just know if you consider it that there is a lot of loss and heartache in the adoption world too, private and foster care. I nearly lost it when ours didn't go through the last time. There are tears rolling down my cheeks as I type this. It's a mother's heartbreak too, even if they were never inside me.

Dimples0101 · May 2014

Bug hugs Lisa! I've been thinking about you a lot (I hope that's not creepy). I'm glad that you guys are waiting to decide. I'm sure these next few months will be emotional and you might change your mind 20 times between now and then, but at least you'll have more time to think about it.

If you guys want to keep it a secret, I don't think that's weird at all. If you want other people's opinion or you need an outlet IRL, confide in close friends and family, but if you don't want people's input, keep it to yourselves.

hjenni · May 2014

Hugs lady! I agree with the above statements. I'm glad you guys are waiting a couple of months to think about it and I also think you shouldn't let age be too much of a factor. I hope you find peace and happiness in whatever decision you two make.

lisaren · May 2014

runningmama14 said:
Lots of love being sent your way. I'll be honest, when you posted about hanging your uterus up, I totally understood. At the same time, I was a sad too. I don't think there is a wrong decision here. Waiting it out a bit seems like a very wise thing to do.

To comment on the adoption front too. Obviously I have a huge heart for adoption, and I would never try to talk someone out of it. Just know if you consider it that there is a lot of loss and heartache in the adoption world too, private and foster care. I nearly lost it when ours didn't go through the last time. There are tears rolling down my cheeks as I type this. It's a mother's heartbreak too, even if they were never inside me.

Hugs lady. Working in my business I know of many stories where it doesn't work out. It's so sad.

We've bought some concert tickets for the summer, I'm going to work very little, spend time with the kids, tan and enjoy beer

After all I do live in beer city.
In August we will decide. I guess I'm such an open book that I assume everyone in my circle needs to know our baby plans and I guess what I'm realizing is that doesn't need to be the case.
I prob would not tell anyone until I was like 15 weeks, except you guys.

Thanks for letting me ramble. And giving good solid feedback.

xo

lizgrace03 · May 2014

Hugs to you Lisa! It sounds to me like you are processing this all in a very healthy way. I don't have any real advice, but I know that the board will be here to support you whatever you and your husband decide.

Enjoy the summer in beer city!

runningmama14 · May 2014

Sounds like awesome summer plans!

runningmama14 · May 2014

lisaren said:

Lots of love being sent your way. I'll be honest, when you posted about hanging your uterus up, I totally understood. At the same time, I was a sad too. I don't think there is a wrong decision here. Waiting it out a bit seems like a very wise thing to do. To comment on the adoption front too. Obviously I have a huge heart for adoption, and I would never try to talk someone out of it. Just know if you consider it that there is a lot of loss and heartache in the adoption world too, private and foster care. I nearly lost it when ours didn't go through the last time. There are tears rolling down my cheeks as I type this. It's a mother's heartbreak too, even if they were never inside me.
Hugs lady. Working in my business I know of many stories where it doesn't work out. It's so sad. We've bought some concert tickets for the summer, I'm going to work very little, spend time with the kids, tan and enjoy beer After all I do live in beer city. In August we will decide. I guess I'm such an open book that I assume everyone in my circle needs to know our baby plans and I guess what I'm realizing is that doesn't need to be the case. I prob would not tell anyone until I was like 15 weeks, except you guys. Thanks for letting me ramble. And giving good solid feedback. xo

Thanks for the hugs

Wasn't trying to make your post about me, just sharing. Sounds like you are all too aware of potential downsides though

Doesn't mean the potential upsides aren't awesome too!

missnacholover · May 2014

Hugs to you, @lisaren.

Sarahbeth612 · May 2014

Hugs Lisa! I think you've got a good plan; relax and enjoy your family and beer and summertime

Ineedmorecoffee · May 2014

I think it is a great idea to wait and see how you feel down the line. Go with your heart (which we all know makes great decisions

)

I dont think its a bad idea at all to keep it a secret. I personally wouldn't want family all up in my business and asking about TTC and putting their opinions in, after something so difficult.

Hugs.

FirstBabyDoyle · May 2014

Perfect plan.. no need to rush a decision that you have time to make. I hope the beer, family and summertime brings you lots of relaxation and clarity. Drink one for me extra please.

Kristy774 · May 2014

Hugs Lisa. Everyone has pretty much said everything I would say. I was actually just thinking about you today and how great you've handled everything. Just want you to know how much I

you.

runningmama14 · May 2014

FirstBabyDoyle said:
Perfect plan.. no need to rush a decision that you have time to make. I hope the beer, family and summertime brings you lots of relaxation and clarity. Drink one for me extra please.

@lisaren‌ is going to have one awesome summer by the time she gets done drinking one for each and every one of us!

lisaren · May 2014

runningmama14 said:

FirstBabyDoyle said:
Perfect plan.. no need to rush a decision that you have time to make. I hope the beer, family and summertime brings you lots of relaxation and clarity. Drink one for me extra please.
@lisaren‌ is going to have one awesome summer by the time she gets done drinking one for each and every one of us!

--------

I'll have to share via pics

Carebella · May 2014

The only thing I'd add is that maybe consider making the other half get clipped. When I'm done I'm totally making DH get a vasectomy!!! I have to give birth so it seems a fair trade.

KMW08 · May 2014

No further advice than the PP's. I think waiting and visiting the idea later is for the best. Give it some time to let your hormones & emotions simma down a bit. Still so much love being sent to you.

brooklyngirl18 · May 2014

big hugs lisa!! everyone has already said what i'd want to say but just to reiterate what you are feeling/saying is 100 normal. you aren't crazy at all! i think waiting a while is definitely the right thing to do and i feel like the right decision for your family will come to you when you're ready. in the meantime may i ask you also enjoy a cold one for me? especially on this holiday weekend? thanksss

MrsC430 · May 2014

Sending another hug your way. I think you're an incredibly brave and strong lady. I hope summer brings you lots of well deserved relaxation & peace of mind

tinkerbell1658 · May 2014

I didnt read all the posts but first....hugs! And second, taking time to discuss it with ds is, imo, the best thing. I wish i took more time to just grieve. After my mc in january i just needed to get pregnant right away, although that one was an oopsie. And i did. Well i broke it off with him before i got the bfp.

DoubleUp8 · May 2014

Send you lots of love and hugs!

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