Tell me I'm not being crazy about daycare

mmm50 · May 2014

So I'm starting a new position in June that is full-time. Up until now I've only been part-time, so between my mom and MIL we always had a babysitter for N in the family. My MIL is retired, but watches my SIL's 3 kids all day every day and they're not well-behaved, so we're not putting N into that mix. We have 2 daycares in the area, and I'm looking for a potential in-home daycare but haven't found one I like yet.

Daycare 1: PROS: Great rate, 10 infants maximum, 2-3 staff in the infant room depending on how many kids are there (maximum of 4 infants per staff member), 2 different age/development based toddler rooms for the future, slightly more convenient location

CONS: When we visited there were kids in the infant room eating cupcakes- none of them appeared to be over 12 months, and I know one of them turned 6 months today; the main staff member was dressed incredibly unprofessionally-like yoga pants and a t-shirt (not that how she dressed affects how she does her job, but it did stand out to me and makes me wonder because every other daycare I have visited the teachers were dressed almost business casual); many more of the children are on county vouchers, so I have heard the rates go up quite a bit for cash customers every 6 months or so

Daycare 2: PROS: 4 infants maximum (unless they hire another staff for the infant room- which they are considering), much smaller class sizes throughout the program from infants to pre-K, quieter infant room than daycare 1

CON: Almost twice the rate of Daycare 1

I am leaning hard toward Daycare 2, but am I putting too much thought into this cupcake thing? I would be pissed if they gave my 6 month old a cupcake, but is it common for kids that young to be given things like that at other daycares in the infant room? I understand the toddlers and the pre-k kids, but the babies??

WWN13D?

mamasoup030 · May 2014

I think you should trust your gut. If you didn't get a happy, trusting feeling, do you really want to leave your LO there? Will you be worried all day? Can you afford daycare #2?

My daycare is my only point of reference, but I can tell you they are only allowed to feed my baby food I sent, that I have a signed consent for (had to update it when we started solids for example), and that is labeled with her first and last name. My state only allows 3 babies per teacher, our room has 8 babies and it gets crazy with 3 teachers, I can't imagine how it would work with 4 babies per teacher on a daily basis.

I know it's so hard to choose, where to leave your LO is a daunting choice. Make sure wherever you pick, it is somewhere that you will know LO will be safe and well cared for.

Some of my favorite things about my daycare are the daily logs which tell me when she ate, napped and had bowel movements. I also love the communication, for example we talk about naps at home vs daycare, they give me tips, and I have been able to tell them when I would prefer they do something differently. this has ensured she has consistency between there and home as much as possible.

88sharonlee · May 2014

My LO is at an in home daycare but what stands out to me from your post is that certain things at day care 1 just didn't feel right, and the most important thing when you have to leave your LO with anyone is that you feel comfortable.

I say go with your gut ( as long as you can afford it) and chose day care 2.

If you go with day care 1 you might be worrying all the time about what's going on and fighting battles over little things that may occur

mskatiep · May 2014

If you don't feel right about daycare #1 then I would go with #2, But, as far as dress code, interacting with kids all day, crafts, up and down from the floor requires comfortable clothing.

When I worked at a daycare it was always jeans or yoga pants and t-shirts. I couldn't imagine doing the things I did with the kids in business casual clothes. In that one instance I think you are being overly picky.

DebateThis · May 2014

"Voucher kids" don't bother me a bit and neither would the yoga pants/casual clothes - it's certainly not something worth 2x the cost to put LO in the other daycare. Half our daycare ladies wear yoga pants or comfy clothes and it makes it easier for them to get on the floor and play with the babies so I'm all for it.

And the food stuff, well... daycare food is subpar to what I'd feed at home, period. It's a hard pill to swallow that I can't control H's diet at every single moment, but again, it wasn't worth another $1k+ per month to me to put him in the all-organic daycare, and I can tell them to not feed my kid the cupcakes.

And I wouldn't weigh the volume of the rooms at ALL in my decision - there are days when H's daycare room is the picture of serenity and the other room is a tornado and vice versa. There's no way to accurately gauge the volume/stress level of a particular room just based on one visit.

All this to say, assuming that there are no DCFS violations on either of their records, I'd go with DCP #1. We picked the "cheaper" center and my baby is happy, healthy, well loved and clearly enjoys his time there - we're socking away the extra $600/month we would've paid to put him at the other more expensive centers and will use it for a vacation with him or for his private school tuition in a few years.

Karadee1 · May 2014

I think "professional" dress for child care staff is much different than what's normally considered "professional." You want the teachers on the ground playing with the babies and kids, and comfy clothes are necessary. I worked in a gym daycare once upon a time, and I can't even recall the number of times I was spit up on, so I can understand even not wearing the nicest stuff they own.

My daycare has a different food policy for the baby room than the other rooms. We have to bring all his food until he moves up to the next room, so I know they aren't giving him anything.

Eta: if you are comfortable with daycare 1 I would go for it - the issues you raised don't seem like red flags to me based on your info. Good luck! :-)

cagoldi · May 2014

Pretty much exactly what @DebateThis‌ said. Our DCP does not receive any public funds though.

I know when I am at home with the baby all day I am in yoga pants, so I don't really expect his teachers to wear anything different. Like PPs stated, they need to get on the floor and play with them and it's just easier in comfortable clothes.

I have a hard time imagining that the kids were eating cupcakes if their parents didn't approve it. If it's a huge concern though, I would just ask them about it. I've heard of some centers that don't allow the parents to provide their own food, so I would look into that just to make sure it isn't the case at either DCP.

fitmama418 · May 2014

How do you know the cupcakes weren't brought in by a parent and given as a treat and the childrens' parents all gave permission? Also, our teachers at DC wear scrubs and I love that. They get messy between spit up, pop-splosions, snot, etc. I wouldn't want to wear nice or "normal" clothes to a job where getting messy is part of the game. Also, just because daycare 2 was quieter when you visited, doesn't mean it'll be that way all the time. I'm with @DebateThis and don't think your reasons listed warrant ruling #1 out, but it's your child and your decision.

mmm50 · May 2014

Thank you @wedding06 for clarifying. I don't have a problem with the children on vouchers @DebateThis, but because the county only raises the rate they will pay every 5 years or so, I have heard from other parents who use the daycare and pay cash that the rates can go up dramatically and go up often (at least every semester). The last instance was $50/week a semester, which is an approximately 25% increase per week. My fear is that it will go up dramatically with no warning, making Daycare 2 almost the same rate after about 2 or 3 semesters.

mmm50 · May 2014

And thank you ladies for your reassurance. Something didn't feel right at daycare 1, but the cupcakes was the only thing I could put my finger on exactly. And the teacher's attire struck me, because the other staff members were all wearing jeans or khakis and most had on the matching shirts with the daycare's logo. I see how being in the infant room is much different attire-wise than the preschool room, for example. I just wasn't sure if this was too casual.

I am going to go back for another visit with Daycare #1, this time with DH. I understand that cupcakes may have been a birthday treat- that's what I assumed- but it's something I wouldn't even think to mention that N can't have. Daycare #1's food policy seems to be that kids can have anything except what parents say no to, while Daycare #2's food policy is that they will only give your child what you bring, or what you circle each day on their menu card--- until they are in the preschool room where it becomes a "my child can have anything except what I list" policy.

I'm hoping another visit gives us more of a vibe for Daycare #1, and I will ask about the cupcakes. I guess we'll play it by ear with the waitlists and another visit.

Thank you ladies for pointing out things I hadn't considered.

DebateThis · May 2014

mmm50 said:

Thank you @wedding06 for clarifying. I don't have a problem with the children on vouchers @DebateThis, but because the county only raises the rate they will pay every 5 years or so, I have heard from other parents who use the daycare and pay cash that the rates can go up dramatically and go up often (at least every semester). The last instance was $50/week a semester, which is an approximately 25% increase per week. My fear is that it will go up dramatically with no warning, making Daycare 2 almost the same rate after about 2 or 3 semesters.

Yeezus. THIS would bother me and I'd pretty much demand a contracted rate for x amount of time (rest of the school year? annually?) based on your discussions w/ other parents. The larger concern would be that it sounds like the person/people managing funds at the center isn't doing a good job, and I think it would be a conversation to have with the director prior to enrollment. Our center posts the rates for the year at the beginning of January along with the payment due dates for the full year so there are no surprises. Quarterly rate hikes, especially at such alarming percentages, wouldn't fly with me.

cagoldi · May 2014

DebateThis said:

mmm50 said:

Thank you @wedding06 for clarifying. I don't have a problem with the children on vouchers @DebateThis, but because the county only raises the rate they will pay every 5 years or so, I have heard from other parents who use the daycare and pay cash that the rates can go up dramatically and go up often (at least every semester). The last instance was $50/week a semester, which is an approximately 25% increase per week. My fear is that it will go up dramatically with no warning, making Daycare 2 almost the same rate after about 2 or 3 semesters.

Yeezus. THIS would bother me and I'd pretty much demand a contracted rate for x amount of time (rest of the school year? annually?) based on your discussions w/ other parents. The larger concern would be that it sounds like the person/people managing funds at the center isn't doing a good job, and I think it would be a conversation to have with the director prior to enrollment. Our center posts the rates for the year at the beginning of January along with the payment due dates for the full year so there are no surprises. Quarterly rate hikes, especially at such alarming percentages, wouldn't fly with me.

Agree 100 %. Better to have this clarified now because what if you start there and both love it? Then they kind of have you by the throat.

DebateThis · May 2014

LJGS1010 said:

Yeah, the rate hike would be a no-go for me. We already pay out the ears for daycare.

I have a hard time believing, especially with infants, that the food policy is "eat anything unless parent says otherwise." This would be a HUGE liability for the center (allergies, choking, etc.). My guess is cupcakes were for a birthday and the parents had consented.

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Stuck in teh quote box and too lazy to fix.

I agree with this, too, but for other reasons. There is no way that a center that accepts federal or state vouchers is NOT part of the federal food program, and it has very strict guidelines for what they can feed LOs. https://www.ecfr.gov/cgi-bin/text-idx?c=ecfr&sid=ca8db8a58de678c7b3d26d3fc913d228&rgn=div8&view=text&node=7:4.1.1.1.5.5.1.3&idno=7 It's so far from a "food free-for-all" that I think you're misunderstanding the policy big time.

mmm50 · May 2014

Thanks for the good idea @DebateThis regarding a contracted price by the school year/year/etc.

I did find it strange that their policy is more of a "what kids can't eat" for the infants, rather than a "only feed them this." I think every other daycare I know of is either a parents bring it or a USDA food schedule for infants. We'll see how the second visit goes.

amberrrjade · May 2014

They possibly have permission from parents for the cupcake thing, I mean right? That'd be weird if they didn't.

However, I work in preschool and we had to wear khaki's and a blue shirt... I hated it. Everything shows up on khakis but once I got pregnant I was allowed to wear yoga pants and man was it 100 times better.

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