Feeling isolated

norab2684 · May 2014

I am 11 PP and this new life is setting in. I am sure it is part of the baby blues, but I am finding the isolation of all of this very scary. It is difficult to be home all day with just me and the baby. I am still not ready to take her out, so I feel sort of trapped.
Just wondering if anyone else is feeling this and how are you coping?

jessevans10 · May 2014

I felt like that early on, and now I'm liking being at home. I do get out a couple times a week, but it is tough going anywhere with a 7 week old. He's still crabby most the time when he's awake. And I get panicked when he crys in public. I have to force myself and get use to taking baby out and about. I go to a moms group, and breastfeeding support group each week, and that gets me out of the house and support from other moms too. My groups are through the hospital I delivered at. Do you have anything like that in your area?

flcl · May 2014

@norab2684: I'm in the same boat as you. I haven't been good about getting out. I'll take him and my dog on multiple walks a day and LO to a store once during the week but I'm still nervous about being out in public with him. He's a terrible napper and he eats every 1.5-2 hours still so I struggle with finding a good time to take him somewhere. I'm hoping that as he gets older, it'll get a little easier. GL to you!

@jessevans10: That's such a good idea... I didn't even to think to check the hospital. I've been trying to find different groups to join and a lot of the ones I'm finding are just too far away. I'm not confident enough to take him somewhere far yet. The breastfeeding group by me has a terrible meeting time (LO's bedtime) so I can't go. Even the public library doesn't have anything available for babies so young.

PrimRoseMama · May 2014

Get out. Go for a walk around the neighborhood or just to the grocery store. Target is great. You don't have to buy anything but just get some air & be around people.

Baby won't die & you will feel recharged. The library or something. Really.

DTNZ4Ever · May 2014

Check your library. Mine does a bunch of story hours for babies/kids of all ages.

Edit: thought you said 11w not days.

frasey · May 2014

what really helped me feel more comfortable about going out w LO by myself was I started going out w a friend who had a baby a few months older than DD. By watching what she did with him, and having someone who could help me a bit if I needed it was a huge relief, and we only went out together a few times before I felt that I could do it by myself. And it was really needed for me, as DD was born in Jan so the mall was my lifesaver. Is this a possibility for you? Do you know anyone else with a baby, even if the baby is older?

My town has a few things for babies/moms that are run by the government - is that something you could see if you have in your area? It was awesome, as we moved to this town when DD was 8 months old, and this was where I met all my new friends w babies the same age. I don't know what I would have done without that group!

ASmallWonder · May 2014

Why, exactly, are you not ready to take her out? I bet there are some suggestions that would help

Avion22 · May 2014

I second the idea of going for a walk. get some sunshine, fresh air, and exercise. Ad don't be afraid to go to walmart or target. You can go in your sweats :-) Pretty soon you'll be a pro at packing the diaper bag, getting baby in and out of the car, and doing diaper changes in public bathrooms.

norab2684 · May 2014

She's only 12 days old. I'm afraid she is not ready for going out in public. Don't they advise you to wait at least 3 weeks?
I am also afraid she will cry or need to eat. I am bf exclusively right now and I am not yet comfortable doing that in public.

Thank you all for the support. Makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone.

DTNZ4Ever · May 2014

Ds2 was 6 days old and I took him to DS1 DC because it was Ds1 bday and I needed to bring treats to celebrate. I just kept DS2 in his car seat in the stroller no one bothered him. DS1 was at Target and BRU at 5 days old. If your LO cries it happens if you need to feed your LO you can use the family restroom if you are not comfortable BF in public not ideal but it's private.

WashingtonQueen · May 2014

norab2684 said:
She's only 12 days old. I'm afraid she is not ready for going out in public. Don't they advise you to wait at least 3 weeks?

No, they don't. They can go out at any time. I stopped by the store on the way home from the hospital with my son.

Babies cry, babies need to eat. These are facts of life. You're going to have to bite the bullet and deal with it sometime. Try practicing your in-public feeding technique at home so you get a good grasp on it. Also, I would always have everything packed and ready to go before a feeding. When feeding and burp time was over, straight into the car seat and out the door.

Avion22 · May 2014

We had taken our son all over the place by then. I agree with feeding the baby right before you go. I have also found that he LOVES sleeping in the car seat and ends up sleeping almost the whole trip anyway. Yes, you may have to nurse. You can nurse in your car if you feel uncomfortable about it. I have a nursing cover that I use, but a receiving blanket or even a scarf would work just as well. I also pump twice a day to build up a stash for returning to work, and keep a few ounces out for one bottle a day so my husband can take over a feeding. Sometimes I'll use the bottle while we're out doing errands instead of nursing in public.

babym6705 · May 2014

I was nervous about nursing in public so I bought a cover, but honestly, I found out that when we are in public and my baby is crying bc he is hungry that I really don't care about the stigma or nerves about nursing in public. I just want my baby fed and happy. I use the cover for modesty still (personal preference) but it's definitely not as big of a deal as I thought it would be before trying it.

babym6705 · May 2014

Oh and someone on the bump taught me if you don't have a nursing cover, you can just take a swaddling blanket, tie two opposite ends together, and put it over you. It kinda looks like a scarf and work great.

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