Bored of pregnancy and only 15wks!!

Mabelle17 · May 2014

Ok no one hate me... But I'm so bored of being pregnant already! I'm only 15 weeks!!

Don't hate me even further but I've not had any sickness or pains or any of the nasty symptoms. Tired, but that's now passed.

But I can't horse ride, can't play netball and can't go and spend my bank holiday weekend drinking pimms in a beer garden. All anyone wants to talk about is babies and give advice and all I want to do is ignore it and live my normal life.

To top it off, the other half is spending every weekend golfing, or drinking!!! He jokes about our life ending, but feels like mine already has.

Doesn't help that I just started an amazing new job too!

Anyone else feel like they have to give everything up? Puts me in a right bad mood a lot!!

Mabelle17 · May 2014

Venting yes... Thank you for recognising that

x

I'm a very non maternal person I'm afraid so I guess scary is an understatement!!

I guess it just feels like everything has stopped.
And while others may not, my social world does revolve around team sports, so when I've had to give that up it's a hard change to swallow even if it does make me sound like an ass.

Mabelle17 · May 2014

Sadly yes... I'm not insured to do either after 12 weeks, which sounds really lame but means I'm not allowed to play in the league or take lessons

I ride 3 times a wk, and netball twice.

Yes I gym now, and swim, and run. Just missing the team energy!!

I know it's hard to understand for most people, I guess I was hoping for someone who did

X

GlitterMuffin914 · May 2014

9 months of not drinking and having to make adjustments like not doing certain activities is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You'll make it through.

And no, your life is not ending, just changing. You can probably still do a lot of the things you like to do in life, you just have to figure out a way to fit your new family member into the mix. It'll take time but you'll get into a routine that's comfortable for everyone.

mb314 · May 2014

I completely understand where you're coming from. It was a hard adjustment for me to go from living my life has I had for the past decade (+), including going out, drinking, staying up late, etc. to being pregnant and tired and unable to drink and not being to do everything I loved. I'll be honest, I still sometimes have a hard time with it now that I'm a mom, and particularly since I'm pregnant again. I sometimes resent that DH's life hasn't changed as much as mine - he is in the music business so he still goes out to network at bars/shows at night, and he will take day fishing trips, whereas taking a day to myself is much harder for me. A night on the town takes planning - whereas DH just says "oh I'm going to check out this band tonight," because the assumption is I will be home.

I also understand not being totally EXCITED ALL THE TIME about the baby. Even though DS was planned, I'm not sure I was mentally ready for it (and I was 35 at the time). I spent a lot of my pregnancy being terrified of how my life would change. I'm actually more excited this time around because I know what to expect and I know how much love/joy a baby brings. It's totally okay not to be "OMG I'M SOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT THE BABY ! IT IS ALL I EVER WANTED" all the time. It doesn't make you less of a mom. It doesn't mean that you won't be a great mom when your baby comes.

Can you find safe active things that you do like to do? I kayaked up until 8 months pregnant - assuming you're going on quiet water and not rapids, that is safe. Or hiking. Or something like that.

Here's my advice for when the baby comes:

1. Go out to dinner or other social activities when the baby is still young and portable. It was easy to take DS with us to a restaurant/friends' house when he was young and would sleep most of the time or be content being held. Once the kids are mobile, particularly after they turn 1, it is a lot harder. DS is now 20 months, and honestly, going out to eat or going to a non-kid friendly friends' house is not much fun for me because a tantrum could happen at any moment and I don't ever get to relax.

2. Work with your DS to establish a pattern where you can get out regularly and do the things you like to do. I don't think I did a good enough job with that, and I have a hard time to get out to the gym or meet up with friends without DS.

3. If you get decent vacation time at your new job, take a day off every once in a while for you time to do the horse back riding or whatever while your kid is in daycare. It really is rejuvenating to have those days where you can take a day to yourself but know that your kid's routine isn't being interrupted.

Alpinator · May 2014

I can absolutely sympathize with feeling bummed to give up activities that used to be a big part of your life; I also had a super active lifestyle pre- pregnancy, and had to give up some activities because I had safety concerns (snowboarding) and others because my body refused to cooperate (when you are nauseous and sick, those extended trail runs just aren't happening). During the first tri, I was so preoccupied with trying not to vomit-in-public every day that I didn't miss my previous lifestyle - but now that the "morning" sickness only strikes a few days out of the week, I am noticing the absence of some of those much-loved active adventures.

So, vent away

My personal solution has been to use this time as an excuse to try out new activities - think of all the stuff on your "bucket list" that is pregnancy-friendly, and you always meant to try out but never have before. For me, that's been a new yoga studio, swimming, and experimenting with novel recipes (with mixed results. Apparently, baking soda is a critical ingredient for peanut butter cookies). And it's been important that DH has also committed to trying out some of these new activities with me - sure, we can't go climbing together this weekend, but we *can* check out a street fair downtown. Maybe if your DH can relinquish the golf clubs for a weekend and explore a new activity of your choice, it will feel more like you are in this together. So good luck!!!

rlyttle · May 2014

It's ok not to be super into pregnancy at times, but that only came at the very end for me with DS. As far as being "bored", after 2 losses I don't take any day of pregnancy for granted.

brichar31 · May 2014

My first pregnancy I felt like you! Especially since you aren't far enough along for any of the fun stuff like feeling the baby move. Once you actually get a belly and feel the baby it will be more real and seem worth changing your lifestyle. I'm no where near as bummed out or "crazy" this pregnancy as I was last time, I think its because I've already gone through the big life change and I know its so worth it in the end to hold your baby!! Hang in there

lamcox · May 2014

I struggled with my "new life" pretty badly with my 1st pregnancy. None of my friends were pregnant or had kids yet, so everything around me seemed to involved things I couldn't do or couldn't enjoy. This pregnancy I feel so much better...I dont know if it's because it's really better, or I'm just used to how much my life has changed (With a toddler) so I don't miss as much.

Yes, as PP have said, focus on new things you can do (I cooked a lot..and read new books, started yoga, etc).

Sunshinehippymama · May 2014

Your husband sounds like an ass lol. But no i hear ya, this is baby number 2 for me and I'm.already use to the adjustments from number one. But i was really looking forward to making this summer a super crazy active fun one, which it still will be, just in a different way! That hike up that waterfall place we found is a bit too dangerous, can't really go sit in that hidden hot springs, and definitely can't do shrooms while camping lol at least i can still go camping! but truly all of this silly stuff you miss out on that your life may revolve around at one point is worth missing out on for your little one

its just a pain in the butt... And ribs... And ligaments for a while

Mabelle17 · May 2014

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to those lovely ladies who made me feel normal!!

It is no 1, and I'm the first of my friends, and was a complete accident so massively unprepared!! Lol.

Very much noted about booking time off for me once the monster arrives! That is what childcare is for in the end I assume!!! Ha ha!!

So I've spent the evening laying down new rules that when the baby arrives, I get Saturday am, and Thursday pm for netball. I accept I can't have it all so riding will be on my 'holidays'

This weekends golf will be changed to early morning, so while not a complete win, I get him back at lunch for a change

And we're going to book a trip away for end august somewhere I want to go

I guess I should be thankful I can still wear my jeans but think you're right, I do need something to 'show' to make it worthwhile.

Idani...thank you for taking the time to read and reply, but I found your 2nd post far more supportive and helpful than your 1st

X

LucilleAustero · May 2014

Not everyone is born maternal. For a lot of people, pregnancy can seem like a pretty thankless time. There is sacrificing and that just continues once the baby is born.

I feel like moms and moms to be are sold this bill of goods about instant connection with the baby and feeling a love like no other when pregnant. For many, that is not the case. I know for me it wasn't. Even after she was born, I was overwhelmed and so unprepared. But, it gets so much better and will become more rewarding that you could've thought.

Good luck.

ConversationFear · May 2014

I understand to a degree, especially where you are in the pregnancy right now. I was at that point a few weeks ago (before I saw LO on the A/S). I had a mini breakdown and was like, "I want my after work cocktail and cigarette! And I want it now!!!" Fortunately, my DH could help me laugh at myself about it.

I think maybe you are over it because you are giving things up that everyone else still gets to enjoy, but you are also at a point in your pregnancy that you aren't feeling all the "fun stuff" to the limit yet. I personally got more attached to my pregnancy once I could feel little guy move all the time. And now that DH can feel it too - it's totally worth it to me to not have a drink after work or a cigarette or whatever I used to do to calm down at the end of teh day.

Make no mistake - there will be a tasty Manhattan waiting for me when I get home from the hospital, lol - but for now, I can wait.

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