Those who use family for childcare

SuzyQq02 · May 2014

Do you feel guilty when baby has a bad day?

LO apparently had a rough one with my mom today... screamed a lot, would barely nap, just generally not pleased with life. She's getting a tooth and seemed to have some tummy issues, but nothing helped, not even Tylenol. She finally settled siren after my mom used the reserve bottle, so she ate 5x. Absent any other ideas, my mom suggested maybe I ate something her stomach didn't like.

I'm so upset, and feel guilty on so many levels: that I couldn't be there to comfort my baby, that I may have been the cause of her upset, that my mom, who's watching her for free, got a crank pot baby all day, and that even though I had a good pumping day, it still fell short of what she ended up eating.

MH just doesn't get it. And on some level, I know I'm being a little irrational, but I'm just so upset! Am I alone in this particular crazy?

Codypup · May 2014

I feel the same exact way when my H has her if I'm working a Saturday. LO had a BAD day last week - fussy, wouldn't nap, and was screaming when I finally got home. I felt so guilty that I couldn't be there to help share the burden of an unhappy baby. And, as soon as I got home she calmed down, which made me feel even guiltier - like she wouldn't have been so unhappy if I had been there.

You're not crazy!

SuzyQq02 · May 2014

Thanks, ladies. With the center she'll be going to a couple days a week, I feel like since they're pros I'm paying, it's way less guilt inducing than my mom who's essentially doing us a huge financial favor, you know? Sigh.

RedSoxGirl10 · May 2014

My LO is with my mom full time at the moment. He has had rough days and I do feel incredibly guilty (though I try not to blame myself, I rarely eat anything different so I think sometimes babies have fussy days). I have also found that since it's my mom I know when she's tired, stressed etc and feel bad.

So, all this to say I hear you. It's hard. I just try to focus on the positive that LO is in great hands, I never ever have to worry about his safety or happiness because his grandmother loves him so much. Plus... It's very, very money saving!

MamaAllison · May 2014

My future SIL is watching LO right now and I guess she had a rough day today. I feel bad for them both and have NO clue what to say to SIL other than sorry!!

queeniecrayon · May 2014

Not alone! DD screams for at least an hour every night I work. It kills me to know what's going on at home 3-4 nights a week. And I feel bad when either of the girls are cranky for my mom

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