Breastfeeding Around Your Other Kid(s)

carissali · May 2014

I'm having my second child in a few weeks, and wondering if I should cover up while breastfeeding if my first born (he's almost 2.5) is around. For those of you who have been through this, what did you do? I'm sure your toddler/other kid(s) have been curious... How did you handle their questions etc?

Thanks ladies!

Weezy56 · May 2014

I would just do what you would normally do if he wasn't there. If you decide to cover up, do it for your comfort, not because you're afraid of questions. If he asks, just tell him that's how some moms feed their babies, and leave it at that. The reason so many people are uncomfortable with seeing a breastfeeding woman is because of the shame society puts around it.

ncbelle · May 2014

Given that I think breastfeeding isn't ever something that needs to be covered up - nope! My oldest is 5 and I will have no worries about nursing in front of him. I'd argue that it's actually important for children to see nursing mamas so that they understand what it is and are prepared to do it themselves or support their partners should they have children one day.

My kids know that babies eat "mama milk" from mama's breasts - and that that's what mama's breasts are for. We've already talked a lot about how baby will need to nurse frequently in the beginning.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

No I don't cover up my kids are 5 and 7 and they see me nursing all the time. Why in the world would I cover up the way I feed their brother. I wouldn't cover up if feeding him a bottle.

PrimRoseMama · May 2014

Why? It's a natural act of feeding your kid. My 2.5 year old breast feeds her Teddy bears. Why would you worry about this.

When my toddler asks why? I tell her baby is hungry & mommy's breasts make her milk. This is how baby eats. She said ok, & kept playing.

carissali · May 2014

Thank you! I think it's more me than anything else... Can probably credit my mother for making me extremely uncomfortable breastfeeding in front of others... I have no problem doing it in front of my husband, but anyone else (including my mom and MIL) makes me uncomfortable. Like it was awkward for me when my best friend started breastfeeding in front of me...

I completely agree that breastfeeding is natural and a woman should never feel like she has to cover up... Just the way I was brought up makes it a little uncomfortable.

Time to change that for my family going forward. Still don't think I want to do it in front of others, but in front of my own family (DH and DS), I will just do what's natural and right.

PrimRoseMama · May 2014

carissali said:
Thank you! I think it's more me than anything else... Can probably credit my mother for making me extremely uncomfortable breastfeeding in front of others... I have no problem doing it in front of my husband, but anyone else (including my mom and MIL) makes me uncomfortable. Like it was awkward for me when my best friend started breastfeeding in front of me...

I completely agree that breastfeeding is natural and a woman should never feel like she has to cover up... Just the way I was brought up makes it a little uncomfortable.

Time to change that for my family going forward. Still don't think I want to do it in front of others, but in front of my own family (DH and DS), I will just do what's natural and right.

You do whatever makes it easier on you. If that means covering for your comfort then do that. Your comfort & getting food to baby is really all that matters. For some women covering is the most comfortable way to BF. That's cool.

My kids never liked covers & I always felt like it was one more thing to carry. It was awkward & where I live (desert) it's hot as Hell. It just never worked.

TL;DR : do what works for you & everyone else can deal.

WashingtonQueen · May 2014

No. I never cover up in my own home. Why would I? My kids know what I'm doing and it's not difficult to understand. I have 8 and 6 year old boys as well as my breastfeeding 2.5 year old son and 8 month old daughter.

Miles2Go · May 2014

No, I won't cover up at home, especially since dd is still nursing too. She knows what's going on. I've just had to prepare her for the fact that she is going to have to share "her" milk!

WashingtonQueen · May 2014

@Miles2Go‌ , that was a challenge in my house as well. My son was very jealous at first. It was a good lesson in sharing, though! At first I tandem feed so he would be drinking while seeing his sister drink, then slowly transitioned to doing one at a time. My son would have to sit and wait his turn nicely or he would have to wait longer until he was calm. He learned very quickly and all was well.

Miles2Go · May 2014

@WashingtonQueen‌ that's good to hear. I'm not sure how dd is going to take it. We've talked a lot about how the baby will be nursing a lot, mommy will be holding the baby, and how I need her to be a good helper and a good sharer. She talks about the new baby nursing, so it seems like she understands. But....she's 2. I think reality will probably be difficult. I'm a little anxious to see how it goes, but dd is generally very good natured, so I'm cautiously optimistic.

rcbuko · May 2014

I have been through this twice and will be doing it a third time. I just feed the baby with no cover. When my kids asked questions, I told them that the baby gets milk from my boobie. We went to the zoo recently and saw both a sea lion and a gorilla breast feeding their babies. It was easy to tie in with me even though I haven't nursed in awhile so they don't remember me nursing. DD1 is in kindergarten and learning about mammals anyway so it is normal to her that human moms breastfeed their babies.

I think it's totally fine for a toddler to see their moms breastfeed. It puts them on the right track for thinking that it is a totally normal occasion.

allrightmeow · May 2014

Nope not covering up. M 5 year old is very aware that she was BF and that baby will also be fed the same way.

efino87 · May 2014

Don't plan on using a cover at home. Heck I wasn't even planning on wearing a bra most days! My Il's are super weird about BF around them so I can understand the concern. They make it a huge dramatic scene, everyone has to leave the room even though I always use a cover around them. Just do whatever works best for you, it's your house, your rules.

AmericanInOz · May 2014

I'm not going to - dd will be 4 and she already knows that babies 'drink from boobies'

it's nothing to be ashamed of, I won't hide it from her

blush64 · May 2014

I did not cover around my son when his brother was born. He was just over 2.5 at the time. He used to refer to breasts as baby foods and a few times had a breast pump shoved under his shirt as he walked around. He is slightly embarassed about that now, he is 18.

The best way for breastfeeding to become normal is for kids to grow up thinking it is normal. I have two teenage boys and I do not wear a cover to breastfeed but I do warn them I am going to nurse. They can leave or stay at an angle where they see nothing.

Edit to add. I respect that my teens do not want to see their mother breastfeeding even though it is natural which is why I warn them. At first they wouldn't want to be in the same room but as time has gone by they are fine with it. That being said I really see nothing wrong with covering if that makes you more comfortable. I would cover if my father was in the room, for my own comfort.

Pepper6 · May 2014

Like you said, how your kids react to breastfeeding is all in how you teach them to react. Your mom made it taboo, so you felt like it was taboo. If you treat it like it's natural and NBD, then that's how your kids will react to it.

Also, even if you decided to cover up around your kids, there are a lot of women who choose not to nowadays, so you'd have to explain it to them eventually anyways. It makes a lot more sense to have that come from your own time breastfeeding instead of springing it on them in an awkward public situation.

tjkdlhb · May 2014

I haven't even considered covering up with DD. She'll be curious, but she will be curious about what is happening even if I do use a cover.

I nursed my daughter around my niece and nephew. They wondered about it for all of 3 minutes and then went about playing. I do hope that DD won't want to start nursing again though.

cMichelle0423 · May 2014

I refuse to cover up in my own home. We have a 14 month old who'll be around 16 months when this baby is born. I haven't breastfed in a while (after 3 months it just didn't work out with DS1) but I plan on letting him know that I'm feeding the baby the same way I used to feed him with a bottle. I'm sure he won't entirely understand, but eventually he won't even notice.

On a side note, I've never NIP but I'm feeling brave this time around. I "like" a couple breastfeeding groups on facebook that have made me feel more comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding, no matter when or where, is completely normal and natural. There shouldn't be anything weird or awkward about feeding your child regardless of where you're doing it!

tealowl · May 2014

I won't be covering up at all. My DD will be 13 and she's already said the BF is gross - however, she has had no knowledge about it, and she's never seen it done. So, I've had talks with her about how its natural and not gross and breasts aren't genitals.

I already know I have friends and family members that will be uncomfortable w/me nursing w/no cover (and have shamed BF on my FB page a couple months ago), but screw them. They can leave the function I'm at if it makes them uncomfortable.

I know I will have to get over my personal anxiety about it, I already feel like I WANT to be covered, but I also want BF to be normalized, and me covering up won't help with that cause. I will be out of my element for awhile I'm sure, but I know once I get used to it, I won't be as nervous.

beachbride5 · May 2014

when i had dd#1, my ds was three and not really too concerned with the boob at all. but this time around, he (now 6) has been asking what "mommy's milk" tastes like because he "can't remember". i told him that mommy only makes enough milk for the baby, but i told him i would pump some into a cup so he could taste it if he wanted.

my feeling is always the more normal you make them feel about it in general, the less they will be interested. i do not support the notion that we need to smother our babies with those giant nursing capes unless *we* feel more comfortable that way. i have nursed pretty much everywhere- but still only incorporate a burp cloth or blanket when in public...or during that awesome 4 month wakeful period when baby gets distracted by everything and pulls off while your milk squirts all over the room. lol.

really, it is all about what you find comfortable.

LauraMyLove · May 2014

I don't know how you could hide nursing from your other children, especially during the first few weeks/months when the baby is feeding so frequently. I think its healthy and more normal to nurse in front of them than be a closet nurser!!

becomingmommyagain · May 2014

I have a teenage son. Although I wont be avoiding nursing in front of him, I will be a bit more cautious in front of him when switching sides to save him the embarrassment but I wont be covering up the nursing LO just because the teenager happens to walk through the room.

When I do happen to be in public I will cover up to avoid gawkers. I dont have a problem with public nursing at all, but I dont feel the need to be that open about it.

jgilesslp · May 2014

I didnt cover up or go in a separate room any time and won't this time. I also pumped in front of DS1. In fact when ds1 found out I was pg again he said, "Mom u will need to start "milking again" (his word for pumping.) And at preschool one day a kid said babies are fed from a can and bottle and my son said no they aren't and stated his brother was fed from his mom's body! I think the more normal you can make it the better! It is normal and will help break the stigma.

darkangel42 · May 2014

I'll be doing whatever I'd do if she wasn't there (5 year old).

My Mum always says "If they're old enough to ask the question, they're old enough to hear the answer" so I'll answer her if she asks with a basic answer and if she wants to know more, she'll ask more and I'll answer that too.

It's feeding a baby, it's not something offensive or disturbing and (in my case anyway) that's how the firstborn was fed so I don't really see a problem.

Ardmhs83 · May 2014

This is your own comfort level, but I wouldn't! My son will probably be b/t 4-5 when we have another baby and I will not cover my baby up...especially at home. I will use the opportunity to teach my son that, that is what breast are really for. Society has such a problem with this, and it is a shame.

audreylaine510 · May 2014

I have never used a nursing cover in front of anyone and certainly wouldn't do so in front of my own child. People really need to see that breastfeed is a natural and beautiful thing. It is not sexual or obscene in any way. You have an awesome chance to be a breastfeeding role model for your child, hopefully he will grow up understanding that it is perfectly natural and doesn't need to be covered.

ElyseF2014 · May 2014

I am breastfeeding around my kids (10, 8, 5). They find it weird when they see a baby eating from a bottle...
They have questions and I answer, so simple

ctorrens87 · May 2014

I am having #4 myself, and I have never tried to cover up. Of course #3 is my only boy, and mine will be less than a year apart so I don't have to worry about questions. My daughters always made the joke that mommy was like a cow for the baby, because the milk they drink is from a cow. So long as you engage the child and explain that it's no different than giving the baby a bottle you should be fine. Seeing you feed your newborn will become just a part of daily routine, and they make some awesome nursing tops that barely show any skin at all if you are uncomfortable.

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