How do you spend quality time with your kids?

Virgo17 · May 2014

I feel like I am struggling to balance this in the evening after work. I go straight into dinner/bath/bedtime mode because there is a limited amount of time. I try to give all three of my kids individual attention when I walk in the door. I also try to spend a little time with each of them when putting them in bed for the night. I worry that it is not enough to truly reconnect.

I also feel guilty because I am always thinking about what needs to be done in the back of my mind. So if DD1 wants me to lay with her a few extra minutes at bedtime, I start feeling impatient because there are things I need to do. Yet I know that time together is important for both of us.

Thankfully, I took off Tuesday so it will be a nice looong weekend at home.

vvvvvfee · May 2014

i struggle with this as well- it seems like both morning and evening we are just rushing rushing rushing and don't have time for anything but what absolutely HAS to get done. i've made a concerted effort lately to do "special time" with DS each morning (here's a great article: https://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/post/How_To_Special_Time/). he is still little, but i sit down with him on the floor and give him my undivided attention for 10-15 minutes. we talk or roughhouse or i read a few books to him. i definitely helps us reconnect and keeps him from whining and clinging to my leg.

if it is time-limited, then i think it's easier to put all your other responsibilities out of your mind for a few minutes. we don't set a timer like it suggests in the article, but you certainly could, particularly since you have more than one kid.

welly01 · May 2014

I don't have good advice because I've only got 1 kid, but I try to play with DS in the bathtub and not rush though bath time. Also, I read to him every night before bed and usually sing for a few minutes before I put him in bed. Those are always good moments to cuddle.

emberlee3 · May 2014

I agree it is hard. I started saying goodnight to DS's body parts, and he loves hearing me name his bones (I am a physician, so I know them). He is also interested in knock-knock jokes, so I try to tell him one each morning. DD is just cute and hilarious, and everything takes twice as long as it should with her, so I roll with it and live in the moment. If she is exploring hair elastics like a NASA scientist or trying to put on her own pants, I sit with her and ignore the clock.

cecilyandgautam · May 2014

I do daycare pick up and I've always counted that time and drive home - DD is old enough to tell me a little about her day now. I set her up with a snack while I get dinner started and we're engaging while that's going on. Whenever I can, I have her "help" with some part of dinner prep - she loves that. If I'm unloading the washing machine, I have her "help" me - put away clothes, etc.

Maybe when she's older, she won't find such mundane tasks exciting, but for now, she's thrilled to be included in the care of the home, so whatever it is I'm doing in the evening, I try to find a way for us to do some of it together.

jlaOK · May 2014

The weeknight evenings are hard. I try to have dinner read as soon as DH gets home with the kids that way we can be done eating around 6. I bathe DD while DH does dishes and we play with both kids until she goes to bed at 7. After 7 we bathe DS and play/hangout with him. DS likes to play in the bath so we'll do a lot of clean up of the house and prep for the next day while he's in there.

CarrieB. · May 2014

Since I get home at 5, in the summertime we can usually go to the park for 20 minutes after dinner which is nice. I'm trying to do really quick dinners, so we can get out of the house.

I count nursing as my bonding time with the baby. And we do a story and songs before bed. I put her to bed first, so then I usually have a little extra one-on-one time w my 3 year old. We've been doing Loving Kindness meditations together before she goes to sleep which is great. She always send peace and loving kindness to her iPad though.

litzo27 · May 2014

I get home at 6 and am usually on the floor with the kids playing for about 45-60 minutes. That's the crux of my quality time

Then I throw a salad together and reheat leftovers (cook several dishes on weekend enough for 4-5) or serve from crock pot. We eat dinner together (with or without DH depending on the day) and then it's showers and bed. Right now I nurse DD to sleep while DH reads a book to the boys. Lights out by 8:45. So I'd say we have about 2 hours together in the evenings. Laundry and kitchen cleanup happens when they are asleep. And mornings are for breakfast only.

mlee116 · May 2014

MamaB828 said:

Every evening from dinner to bedtime we spend as a family. Also we spend all weekend together. Whether we are just sitting outside, going to the park or relaxing on the couch reading books. I treasure this time!

This, exactly. Even if we aren't actively playing with DS, we are with him and engaged every evening. We've made it a priority to sit down and eat breakfast and dinner together every day because it is a nice start and end to our busy day. Also, we are pretty protective of our time in the evenings and weekends so we try to skip activities or commitments that take up a lot of our family time.

rockychryslerb2010 · May 2014

We only have one right now, but with work and me in school, we don't have a lot of time. Luckily, I work from home most of the time, and our nanny comes later two days a week. We get to spend an extra hr together these days. Also, I love bedtime routine with E. Bath time and books before bed are how we spend quality time together most days of the week. On weekends, I try to make sure we do one thing special just for E.

My mantra is quality over quantity, so I try to make an effort to really be present and engaged when I do have time with E. This usually means getting out of the house, putting away all electronics and just doing what he wants to do.

jf198400 · May 2014

I feel pretty bad reading this. I get home with the kids at 6, and DH isn't home until later, usually at least 7 sometimes even 8:30. So I let the kids do whatever they want when they get home (DS likes to play on the patio and dd usually needs some downtime with a tv show). I rush around and throw dinner together. After dinner, it varies. We have been getting outside more which is nice and gives me some playtime with them. But some nights the kids just play in the house while I do dishes and pack lunches. I do bath with them every night and then DH and I usually each take 1 kid for bedtime. There's not much one on one time other than bedtime b/c I'm usually home alone with both kids. They don't go to bed til about 9, so we do get a good amount of time together but it's a mix of playtime and me doing chores. I used to try to save chores for after bedtime, but I'm pregnant and exhausted by then so I need to get it done while they're still awake.

We do a lot of family activities on weekends and DH and I will sometimes go one on one with a kid. We try to save most of our chores and stuff for during naptime. Or like DH will take the kids out to play while I'm folding laundry, or I'll take them to the library while he's mowing the lawn, stuff like that.

Life certainly isn't perfect, I dont have nearly as much balance as I'd like. But we make it work, and overall it's not bad. The kids are happy, and that's the most important thing.

mlee116 · May 2014

jf198400 said:

Life certainly isn't perfect, I dont have nearly as much balance as I'd like. But we make it work, and overall it's not bad. The kids are happy, and that's the most important thing.

I agree. You have to cut yourself some slack! FWIW, one of my best friends is a SAHM and she is always saying how although she's at home with her kids, she's not engaged with them all the time. She's busy doing chores and other stuff. And then since she's with them all day, sometimes she forgets to stop and purposefully engage with them. It's easy to beat yourself up, but you just have to do what you can and make sure your kids feel happy and loved.

groovygrl · May 2014

We do most of our quality time stuff on weekends and other than laundry, I try to avoid household chores & shopping unless necessary on weekends. We will do some errands that the kids enjoy going on (they are almost 5 and still ok w/ going to most stores as long as they find it remotely interesting or they get some small little treat out of it).
On weeknights w/ warm weather I try to play w/ them a little bit outside before or after dinner (I also get home alittle after 6 w/ them), even if just a walk around the block. therefore, dinner sometimes suffers & is nto the most fabulous balanced made from scratch meal but oh well. One of them is often sitting at hte kitchen counter talking to me while I make dinner or sometimes they can help w/ dinner. Bedtime is probably our most bonding time, I'm sure many would think we're terrible but after we read them both a couple books, we sit/lay w/ them for prob 20-30 min (we switch partway through usually) in their rooms to read a book, talk about their day (I ask them their best and not best parts of the day every day and they often ask for mine too), DS is learning to read so he sometimes wants to practice, and sometimes we play silly story games where we go around in a circle and each say a sentence or two then switch to 'build' a story about something which can be kind of hilarious.

I'm definitely guilty of being distracted by computer/phone other stuff right after work/school while prepping dinner and whatnot but I make sure to do undivided attention once we go upstairs and if they ask me to do something specific wtih them (eg help w/ lego or a drawing or something) I make sure to do that. But, I know I could do more/better, it's just hard esp if they're really demanding or cranky and I am too

gardensparrow · May 2014

It is tough to find to make time for quality moments with our kids when we're done with work and feeling like there's so much to do. But it seems like you've made a good start with the routine you have going with getting them ready for bed, etc. And I think sometimes we just have to sacrifice "getting stuff done" to make sure we're getting some time in with our kids just to be with them and listen, etc. It also can be helpful to try and combing some activities. For instance, take your kids on errands with you so you can chat with them in the car. Or, if it's an option, bring them to work occasionally. Even if you're not doing a particular activity, they just love being with you. Hope this helps!

rab41380 · May 2014

Honestly, it gets easier with 2 kids, when they are 6 and almost 3. They love playing with each other, so I don't feel as guilty. Evenings we do story time, eat together, bath time. Weekends we do pool days, sometimes I take my daughter to yoga, movies, shopping alone.

MickeyM04 · May 2014

I am struggling with this as well! I am still on maternity leave so we don't really have any sort of schedule yet what with having a NB, and even if we did have a schedule, it would only be temporary since it will have to change when I go back to work and both kids are in DC full time. MH and I both commute, so DC drop off is at 7:15 and pick up is at 6:00 (and that's with me leaving work at 4:45 and getting in at 8:45). So I appreciated hearing everyone's suggestions and routines. I think what we have to keep in mind is that any time we spend with our kids can be quality time. Even though I only have about two hours total with DS after daycare when I'm working, I spend every minute of that two hours with him (in the car on the way home, he's in the kitchen while I get dinner ready, we eat together, we play for a bit before bath or watch Mickey Mouse on the couch together, then I give him a bath and his milk before bed). Sometimes it might not feel like it's quality time but I think it's important just to be there as much as possible. For example, DS likes to watch Mickey Mouse after DC. I could use that time to do chores but I choose to hold off and sit with him and snuggle for half an hour instead of using that time to be productive. And then I will just do the chores after bed. Is watching TV the best quality time? No, but he enjoys it and it's something we can do together. Whatever you can do to make it work is what's right for you and your family. It sounds like you are doing great. And we all are!!

Want a personalized experience?

How do you spend quality time with your kids?

Re: How do you spend quality time with your kids?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards