Baby blues.

sheriot · May 2014

FTM here. Never thought I'd struggle with the "baby blues" because having a beautiful, healthy newborn is all I could want.
But, it turns out the "baby blues" is a real thing, and since it's the result of my hormones going wild/regulating, I haven't really been able to control it. Just deal with it as best I can.
I can't imagine I'm alone in this. Anyone else dealing with the blues? How are you handling it? Are you talking about it with your SO?

RachelCA29 · May 2014

I've been feeling it pretty badly since right after labour. Having Colin go to the NICU was super stressful, I tried to stay positive but it was hard to see him all wrapped in a sling with his broken arm. I think once he was in my recovery room with me for the second night it got better, but since dealing with some latching issues already and being home with him last night and having issues with pain in his arm, it was really stressful.

My husband has been amazing through the whole process. I could not do this without him. He is so supportive with the breast feeding troubles and keeps me sane when I get worried about Colin's arm. He and Colin have bonded so much already. Seeing them together makes so happy, so it helps calm my anxiety.

I try to focus on the little successes and also just give myself a break about it. I have a 2nd degree tear and had a kind of rough delivery, I'm bruised all over. So I just don't feel like myself, plus I'm exhausted. So feeling like crap is kind of expected. And I just kind of let myself feel that, knowing that in a couple of weeks when I physically feel better, I will probably be able to focus more on the positive. But I'm really lucky I have my husband's support through that past few days too. That helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel.

andoll8 · May 2014

Not sure about baby blues, but definitely fighting the post-partum hormone drop. I make sure to get outside at least once a day, talk to people on the phone or gchat, run an errand, do a chore, or have a visitor. Try to get a bath or shower in while your LO naps. It will help you feel more human. Also, get dressed and do your hair and make-up. Do whatever you must to feel good about yourself.

When I'm at my worst, I pick up DS for a snuggle because it reminds me that the prize is sweeter than the blues are bluesy.

Take care of yourself.

Bootsie327 · May 2014

I have been feeling this way a lot, too. Sometimes it is better than other times. I hope you feel better soon! Thanks to PPs for posting coping tips...they sound really helpful.

haylo33 · May 2014

I get emotional every night around 5pm. I have no idea why only around that time, I'm thinking it just be a hormone drop or something. I just get anxiety. I think I get anxious about the upcoming night. The 2nd night in the hospital, LO would not sleep and wanted to just have my boob in his mouth until 3am. I finally sent him to the nursery and I woke my husband up and just cried because I felt like a failure for having to send him to the nursery for a few hours. That night was a bit traumatic. I think it is normal to be emotional but just make sure if it gets to the point of postpartum depression, call your doctor. It helps to talk to my husband about all the changes.

MinaE01 · May 2014

I was a wreck after DS2 was born. It started the day after I had him. Even the nurses were concerned. I just cried and cried and missed being pregnant and was anxious about all the changes that were taking place in our lives. We got home, settled in, and I felt better after a couple of weeks. There were a lot of tears shed, but leaning on H, getting outside for walks, making myself shower, and taking naps helped my mood. I did call my OB who wanted to see me in 2 weeks (I guess that's the magic number - baby blues goes away after about 2 weeks PPD will persist). I was much better by then. I still have my moments, but I'm getting used to my new life!

gutsysneakers · May 2014

Not sure if I'm feeling the blues but def not feeling like myself. I had a rough delivery (4th degree tear). Between recovering from the tear and typical swelling and becoming engorged two days after dd was born, I'm exhausted and feeling guilty for not feeling the "she is the best thing that ever happened to me". Being a new mom is hard. DH has been nothing but supportive. Hoping it gets better from here and taking it one day at a time.

QOTR · May 2014

Big hugs ladies! I'm still pregnant, but I think you're all very brave to admit that things aren't perfect. Take care of yourselves and reach out for help when you need it.

sheriot · May 2014

Thank you ladies for the tips and for sharing. I am not used to being so emotional--I have cried for no real reason and sometimes I just feel sad for no reason. I feel bad for my H, but he's been amazing.
I have made a concerted effort to shower and put makeup on everyday, and I think that has helped (good tip @hhegyesi‌

). I'm hoping this all dissipates soon..I know I have zero reason to feel down. It's good to know I'm not alone. I think I'm going to start to occupy my brain more--as in, read and maybe brush up on a language, pick up an instrument. I hope that helps.

hbird0723 · May 2014

I just posted something similar a couple days ago because I was going through the same thing so just as others have said you are not alone! It was really rough a couple days after until today. So about 3 days but tomorrow is my first day by myself all day so we shall see if they come back. I think most of mine was feeling lonely because we had so many people around and my husband was home and then all the sudden it was going to be just me. Luckily my husbands mom came one night and stayed the next day and I asked a friend to come over so that's really helped keep my mind off it. I also hate napping so it's been hard to tell myself to rest because lack of sleep is probably a big part of the emotions. Just knowing it's a normal feeling really helps!

Nikkipal82 · May 2014

It was worst for me the first two weeks. Taking a walk outside helps a lot, and keeping in touch with friends and family. I also felt a lot better once my LO was big enough to be worn-- being able to have her close to me and still have two arms to do things with has been very empowering for me. It also has helped to get out of the house, even if it's just to walmart to pick up a few things. Good luck to everyone!

cnbean · May 2014

I really struggled with this when DS1 was born. What I think helped the most was making sure to talk to someone about how I was feeling. I also think that making the time to do something you loved before having a baby really helps. I know a large part of my blues were caused by the huge life change. Making the time for a hobby helped to remind me that I could still do the things I loved.

It's totally normal to feel blue for a little while, but I would encourage you to talk to your OB if it doesn't clear up after 2 weeks PP. Hang in there, being a new mom is hard!

MissLadyTay · May 2014

I def got the baby blues with both kids. Between 7-14 days PP. I get very weepy, crying over random stuff ("we're all going to die someday" type feelings). It got better after about a week. My doc said to call right away if these feelings lasted more than two or three weeks. Mine went away, but it was nice to have a timeline of what's "normal."

Katzalia · May 2014

I think it also helps to know that the hormone changes postpartum can really make us feel teary and not like ourselves. I think the statistics say about 4/5 of new mamas have some degree of the baby blues/hormonal swings in the first few weeks postpartum.

For most, it eases up after the first few weeks. It really does get better. PPD isn't as common, but if low mood persists past 2 weeks or so postpartum, talk to your doc. It can be treated safely even for breastfeeding mamas.

bumpuser10194737 · May 2014

I am feeling so much better now, but for the first two weeks I wanted to cry about everything! I had a bad reaction to one of my pain meds and lots of anxiety connected to that, and trouble nursing as well. Everything seemed ten times worse with the baby blues.

Hoping you are feeling better soon!

momthatlifts · May 2014

I started dd scrap book and my husband had to hold me while I cried. It's very bittersweet. I love my baby so much it hurts. I also get sad thinking about her growing up. You're not alone.

Sam0905 · May 2014

You're definitely not alone. I feel like sleep deprivation makes things 10x worse. I'm much more even-keeled when I'm at least a little bit well rested. My husband is very supportive, but he also likes to jokingly tell the baby "mama's crazy!" when I'm sobbing about whatever.

bridetobe9132013 · May 2014

I am so thankful to have this board and to know that im not the only one that is experiencing this! I had my baby Tuesday afternoon after kind of a rough labor and delivery.I cried yesterday a few times because breastfeeding was very hard for me and I couldn't stand seeing my little girl be hungry and upset and feeling like I couldn't help her. Today I have been crying on and off all day. Its just so much change and im sleep deprived and very sore from my c section, which makes everything worse. I am trying to go to sleep but I am terrified of not hearing or seeing her if something goes wrong. Breastfeeding is hurting so bad im in tears every time! I just want things to get better.

apinkpelican · May 2014

You aren't alone! I'm also having bouts of emotional outbursts. I love her so much and worry over every feeding, (lack of) poo, and little skin bump. I'm terribly sore from an extremely bruised tailbone, tear, and labial laceration. The thought of feeding every two hours, every day, for weeks/months is daunting and overwhelming at times. I find myself looking at the clock btwn each feeding getting anxiety for the next feeding, worrying; will she latch, will I be able to find a position where I'm not in extreme pain for an hour, is this the time my nipples will bleed?
I have def found it's much better when I do get in a couple good naps so I'm being betting at making that happen between feedings.

lrmrtn · May 2014

I started crying over dinner for no real reason. I'm exhausted and BFing is exhausting because I feel like I never get a break. DH was great and actually watched baby from 10-4 and fed him pumped milk so I could get some rest. I also dread nighttime because that's when DS is the toughest. I find that getting out helps. It was raining all day so we couldn't go for a walk so I was getting cabin fever. My big outing was to Walmart for diapers but it helped and gave me a reason to shower and get dressed.

ShanJohnNC · May 2014

Yeah - baby blues are for real! After talking with a friend of mine with 2 LOs it's dawned on me that it's just around the 2 week mark that it's really gotten bad. I'm just dealing with it - crying it out and hoping it passes soon. Thank God for friends!

ShanJohnNC · May 2014

Nikkipal82 said:

It was worst for me the first two weeks. Taking a walk outside helps a lot, and keeping in touch with friends and family. I also felt a lot better once my LO was big enough to be worn-- being able to have her close to me and still have two arms to do things with has been very empowering for me. It also has helped to get out of the house, even if it's just to walmart to pick up a few things. Good luck to everyone!

I hope I can "wear" my LO soon cause those neighborhood walks would be oh-so-much easier...

sheriot · May 2014

Thank you all for coming in and sharing. It helps.
My H and I went out to a movie and dinner last night. It helped to get out and talk for a bit. I appreciate you all!

jsaffer01 · May 2014

Tonight the baby blues hit me pretty bad. I ended up driving to MH's work just to talk with him he made me feel better. The support of family and friends help a lot. Especially the support from my husband

momthatlifts · May 2014

I'm glad this thread was bumped because I, feeling the blue tonight. It might have a lot to do with me watching a sappy movie, but I'm feeling sad. It's hard to know she will not be like this forever. She will always be my baby but she won't want to cuddle me and love me like this forever. Definitely thinking way too far into the future I guess

eliak · May 2014

I am sooo greatful for this board! Today has been crazy.. Visitors, LO pooping all the time, up for long stretches and very hot. I am now worried that i might got him sick by putting him too many clothes since we got home. So i cry all day. With no specific reason. And DH has been so sweet and that makes me cry even more! I am so relieved as i read your posts! Hopefully all this sh!t will be over soon and we get to enjoy every second of motherhood. No need to mention i am a FTM as well! Keep strong girls!

Mwyld · May 2014

For me I think my baby blues has a lot to do with having to be induced and also having an unexpected c-section... I feel jipped on giving birth to my baby and also I feel like she was given to me, not that I birthed her. On top of that she is constantly nursing for hours at a time and not wanting to sleep in her bassinet. She will only sleep skin to skin which doesn't allow me to get a good nights sleep. I'm terrified of SIDS so when she is in her bassinet finally, I just watch her and check on her all night, again getting no sleep.

KBowen715 · May 2014

I haven't cried, but my Mom Guilt is overwhelming. Do my older children feel unimportant? Would baby be better loved by someone else? Baby doesn't cry enough- is this developmentally appropriate?

It is ridiculous.

Marcella05 · May 2014

My blues is a feeling of loneliness and frustration. My pets (1 dog, 2 cats) are being themselves, but with baby around they just annoy me. And then I feel guilty about being annoyed. And stressed because I feel like we can't all coexist under the same roof cuz I have no time or patience. DH is doing the bare minimum, which is enough to get us through the day, but some love/hugs/encouragement would be nice. And I know my step kids MUST BE feeling a little annoyed by me cuz I've been 100% focused on me and baby. I sleep when I can but never feels like enough. DS hit his first growth spurt and started cluster feeding again, so I feel as frazzled as I did night #2 in the hospital. I felt like things were getting better until these last few days.

MerryLove · May 2014

I'm only 6 days pp and I've been crying at the drop of a hat since day two. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with emotion (happy or sad) and couldn't even say why I'm crying. Other times I'm crying because I feel so in shock and it seems like everything happened so fast...I keep thinking about how "a week ago" he was still in my belly and it was just us doing our own thing and now he's out and everything is so different and people are touching him and doting on him and in a way it makes me feel territorial and jealous (TOTALLY irrational, I am 100% grateful for all of my support) and sends me into a tailspin. Hoping things will feel better when I get to Wednesday and can no longer think about how different things are today compared to one week ago...I honestly don't know why that's such a trigger. I am just done with the crying already.

Mwyld · May 2014

kelseyandrobert said:

@Mwyld‌ same here. DD's birth and after care was almost 100% opposite what I was anticipating, going from a complication free pregnancy to induction/section and NICU. Cloth diapers? Nope. Exclusive breastfeeding? Impossible. I feel like my body betrayed me. I feel guilty that we have to supplement with formula, and I'm anxious about everything. I'm also terrified of SIDS or dropping her, so it freaks me out to fall asleep holding her. I love her but I don't feel over the moon bonded like others describe. Night is usually the worst and I feel more like myself during the day when she sleeps. DH has been great and steps in when I hit a wall. I made an appt with a psychiatrist a while ago for July just in case I had PPD, I might move it up just it case I still need it. It's helpful to read that two weeks PP is usually when this happens. Hopefully it will pass soon. Thanks ladies for sharing your experiences!

This sounds exactly like what I'm dealing with. I feel so guilty that I didn't have that life changing moment like everyone says you will have... But when she was born I was so distracted with feeling like I was having a heart attack during my section, I almost feel like the experience and doctors I had took that away from me. I'm doing better, haven't had another crying day since the day I wrote that post, so here's to hoping my blues are coming to an end.

Sdufort1216 · May 2014

I'm sorry to everyone feeling this way. I've been crying a lot and husbands been working so much because I'm out of work that when he's gone ( he's better with baby than I am) I feel lost. I'm so bored during the day and am too tired to take on any hobbies besidess feeding baby every 2 hrs. I have 2 mos left of maternity leave and I have no idea how I'm gonna get through. I feel bound to our apt and don't kno how to deal with going out shopping and things with him because I'm nervous. it's been so hard . I pray we all get over this soon! I know people say this time will be over soon and well miss it but I don't think ill miss it. I want him to magically be a toddler. if eel bad for feeling this way....

Bootsie327 · May 2014

MerryLove said:
I'm only 6 days pp and I've been crying at the drop of a hat since day two. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with emotion (happy or sad) and couldn't even say why I'm crying. Other times I'm crying because I feel so in shock and it seems like everything happened so fast...I keep thinking about how "a week ago" he was still in my belly and it was just us doing our own thing and now he's out and everything is so different and people are touching him and doting on him and in a way it makes me feel territorial and jealous (TOTALLY irrational, I am 100% grateful for all of my support) and sends me into a tailspin. Hoping things will feel better when I get to Wednesday and can no longer think about how different things are today compared to one week ago...I honestly don't know why that's such a trigger. I am just done with the crying already.

I absolutely feel you on the territorial thing. It's not something I ever would have imagined would bother me, but like, I do miss the privacy and special bond of having him in my belly. I actually feel pretty lonely when lots of people are here visiting him which is weird but true...I think I feel lonely because he and I aren't having our together time.

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