So sad and discouraged (long ass vent)

pete0121 · May 2014

We are having a horrible time. This is our third baby and ALL of them have been EXTREMEMLY difficult newborns with all sorts of digestion issues. DS was on two reflux medications and Nutramigen. DD took Prevacid and was on Neocate for formula. When I surprisingly got pregnant this time I was so scared because the newborn period just sucks for us. I decided I was going to try to BF. I've overcome terrible latching, no supply, bleeding nipples, ugly cries, DH asking me to stop so he didn't have to watch me so upset. I did all of this in an effort to make a happier baby. No fucking dice. I'm dairy and soy free now and she's still a mess.

Yesterday she started her fits at 9 am and we had our worst night yet (she's 5 weeks). She full on screamed from 8:00 PM to 2 am. This is our third, trust us, we do everything. She just seems so uncomfortable. Gassy and refluxing but dr wants us to wait on meds because she's gaining weight.

I'm so mad and so sad. How can this happen 3 times. I've never just gotten to enjoy a baby. Every time she wakes I almost cringe. She's never happy. Several of my FB friends just had babies and they post their pictures of smiling babies in bouncy seats or laying on the floor mat with siblings and I want to cry. My baby is always being held and if she's not eating or sleeping it seems she's crying.

I know this won't last forever. I know it's not my fault. I know that she will turn out to be a happy fun kid like my other two, but good god almighty I hate right now. And I hate that I hate right now. It just seems so unfair.

I'm sorry to unload here it's just no one in my real life, outside of DH, gets it. She doesn't cry around my parents so my mom just doesn't understand. She's always talking about what a sweetie she is and you can tell she doesn't want to hear me complain about her. All of my friends have had happy babies.

This morning my husband and I just feel so defeated and sad.

ETA some proper grammar after my emotional autocorrect mess.

Starfish+77 · May 2014

Hugs! I don't have any advice but I want you to know you're not alone. I effing hate the newborn period. DS is almost 7 weeks and I feel like I spend 99% of the day trying to soothe him. I gave up BF and feel like I failed but it was so time consuming and I also have an almost 18 mo old. She had reflux issues and also was a difficult newborn. This too shall pass! But I know it's so damn hard. I put my LO in the car yesterday and got chik fil a for lunch so at least there was one thing to look fwd to :-) These difficult kids owe us big time when they get older!!

babym6705 · May 2014

Ignore FB. People usually only post the good in FB, not the bad. A friend of mine actually did a pic stitch on FB a few weeks ago that showed her baby happy and smiling with the label "Facebook" and a picture next to it of her baby screaming/crying and labeled it "reality".

pete0121 · May 2014

^omg they seriously owe us. And DH and I are planning on being the biggest dicks during the teenage years. Oh you have friends over, I'm gonna scream like crazy.

Yogini6911 · May 2014

Hugs to you!

hordol · May 2014

It sounds like you are dealing with some rough things, and it's okay to hate the newborn phase. Don't let people guilt you by saying things like, "enjoy it cause it goes by so fast!" While there is some truth to that, it really doesn't do anything to make it better, so just ignore it. It sounds like you have a perfectly legitimate reason to feel the way you do. How old were your other kids when they started to get easier? Just know that you will make it to the other side!

WifeofaComposer · May 2014

I don't have experience with really cranky babies, but I wanted to offer hugs and encouragement - you will have fun with her soon!!

nycgirlkat · May 2014

I feel for you and sending a major hug to you. I am a FTM with a colicky baby with possible reflux. My pedi doesn't want to start meds right now either because she isn't "Exorcist vomiting" and is gaining weight. We had the worst first 2 weeks filled with screaming like we were ripping her arms off!!!! Followed by being reprimanded by our first pediatrician for "over feeding her and being the cause of all the gas/fussiness/screaming". Which was not the case at all, our second pediatrician actually said we weren't feeding her enough!!!! Hence the 7 pm to midnight scream fest which hasn't completely gone away, but dissipated a little to 2 hours.

I feel the same anxiety over the waking hours spent constantly fussing/crying/soothing. I feel the same jealousy when talking to my friends about colic and they just stare at me wide-eyed and blinking because their kids were awesome newborns. I hate having to deal with DH who unburdens his feelings of annoyance on me because he just wants a happy baby. And he maybe spends on average 5-7 hours a day with her. He hands her off to me by 10 pm every night because he's tired and can't deal, so I'm on the night and day shift!!! Which I remind him constantly of.

I just keep my eye on the light at the end of the tunnel and enjoy the snuggles when she is passed out on my chest. I'm also taking tons of pictures so I can remember how little and sweet she is when she is happy for a little while. You are not alone!

jgallegos · May 2014

Hugs to you!!! I'm so sorry your having a rough time. Hope things get better soon

MamaFantastic · May 2014

I'm so sorry. That sounds like hell. You can and will push through because you've done it before, but you don't have to like it. I wouldn't like it either. I hope the next few months fly by for you.

Does chiropractic or craniosacral therapy seem like something you'd consider? Or maybe you've already tried it...

strawberrytree · May 2014

Hugs to you! That doesn't sound fun at all. I hope the next few weeks/months go by quickly for you and you'll be able to enjoy her soon. I tell myself "this won't last forever" at least once a day when he is driving me out of my mind.

Jennick602 · May 2014

A friend of mine had the same experience, she saw a massage specialist and the baby had a cranium massage. She swears by it, completely different baby afterwards. Specialist said the trims of birth squashes the brain and causes serve headache! Makes sense really.
Worth a try?!?
Good luck.

Holljade · May 2014

Hugs lady I am right there with you.

I get so frustrated I could cry. wtf does it have to be like this? I get even more upset knowing how much long I'll have to deal with it say in and day out and it makes me so sad that it makes me more irritable and DD is around for it

I feel like I am such a bad person- why am I not better at this????

Cecilbear · May 2014

Hugs to you, lady! Some days, I am right there with you. My advice? Fill up a couple bottles, drop LO off at your mom's and spend a few hours with DH.

BR · May 2014

I am so sorry. That sounds horrible. And you're right that it doesn't seem fair that all three were like this. I constantly repeat in my head "This too shall pass" when I'm having a rough time. I'm hoping this passes quickly for you. Hugs.

BuggasMom · May 2014

Hugs! I have been there with my first and it's so hard! Hang in there you are doing great . I hope time goes fast and you get relief soon.

Elf2718 · May 2014

You will make it to the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am dealing with a fussy LO and some days he is a breeze and other days, like today, he won't stop crying. I don't know if its gas, colic, reflux....but I feel guilty for wishing he was over this newborn phase.....and I'm a FTM so I wanted to enjoy this time. Instead, I yearn for him to advance to 4+ mos.

selina1113 · May 2014

My first was colicky, this LO has reflux and makes my first look like he was a dream. I had colic as a baby so this is my karma I think.

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