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How to balance work, kids, and school?

krose0713krose0713 member
in Working Moms
Hi all! Brief intro:  I am coming over from S13. I have one daughter, age 8 months. I work M-F as a behavior analyst at a school for children/teens with autism. I've been on the Bump for a while now, but didn't really branch out from my BMB. Looking forward to chatting with other working moms, and getting/giving advice and support!

Any moms currently working and going to school? Or moms who have done this in the past? I currently have one masters degree, but to advance in my career I will need to get another (or my doctorate, but I am leaning towards the second masters). Thinking back to how demanding grad school was the first time, I can't imagine doing it now with a baby! I know I have to do it, and it will only benefit my family in the long run, but I keep second guessing if this is the right time. Though pushing it off means I'd be doing it with a toddler, which I can't imagine would be any easier! Working/student moms, how do you balance it all?

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Re: How to balance work, kids, and school?

  • dglvrk2dglvrk2 member
    edited May 2014
    I cannot speak from experience, but have a few ideas....I too will be balancing work, kids and school starting in September. One thing to keep in mind with babies is they often get more predictable as they get older. (Not easier; just more on schedule.) Your LO may start going to bed earlier and taking one long nap each day, as opposed to multiple shorter naps as she gets older. (My first started taking one nap a day around 15 months.) She'll be more self sufficient at eating and playing too. You can plan studying more around her nap and bed times. This is what I plan to do. I'm a morning person. Neither of my daughters nor DH like getting up before 7. I plan to do about an hour of school work most mornings before I have to get ready for work. Also, my program (administrator's credential for education) is quite strict about attendance. I plan to have back up day care lined up in case DH cannot watch the girls the evenings I'm in school. I think staying organized is essential. Remember it's alright to say no to additional obligations. It's doable. It's only a temporary situation too. ;-)
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  • KayteeGeeKayteeGee member
    My H went back for his MBA when my son was about 1.  It was hard, he was in an uber-competitive program and it was out of state so he was traveling every other weekend.
    I, too, have a demanding job so we just needed to make the commitment to get the help we needed - we upped some "services" to coming more frequently, we had a great string of baby sitters and we just both agreed that it was going to be a tough stretch.  Tougher for him in terms of hours - the studying into the wee hours of the night or early morning, but tougher for me too because it meant I did all of the evening bed/bath routine almost every night, all the pick ups and drop offs and was on my own with DS every other weekend.
    He graduated in May and started a fabulous new job and we are all the better for it!  So it can be done!!
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  • litzo27litzo27 member
    I had my first son in the PhD program. But I was in my third year so done with classes. It was still hard because I was working on my dissertation quite intensely but it was also great because I could schedule my time as needed. When my nanny suddenly had to take two weeks off for medical reasons I didn't have issues taking it easy for two weeks as well. There were months which were hard when I would work for 9 hours while I had the nanny and then work 5 more hours after he would go to bed at 8pm. But I got through it. Right now I have two PhD students who have babies - one had her daughter right before the start of the program - and the first year classes are crazy difficult but she got through. Her daughter was in daycare during the day and she did a lot of studying at night and husband pitched in also. What's the cost/benefit of another masters vs. a doctorate for you?
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  • itsmevkbitsmevkb member
    My advice, have a very supportive spouse.  I say that as I was that very supportive spouse while my husband spent seven long years getting his master's and then PhD at the same time we got married, bought a fixer-upper house and had our first three babies.  WTH were we thinking?

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

    This Cluttered Life

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  • rockychryslerb2010rockychryslerb2010 member
    edited May 2014
    I have about 5 months left in my MBA program, which I started when E was about 10 months old.  The first 9 months were pretty easy - the classes were pretty much a breeze, I could get most of the work done in the evenings after E went to bed and maybe dedicate a solid 4-6 hrs on a weekend to get the work done.  Now that I'm into my concentration classes (finance), it is taking a lot more time.  I pretty much do something every night after E goes to bed.  Probably 4-8 hrs of weekend work, usually DH takes E out of the house for an activity or I leave the house.  I will have about 4 weeks left when #2 comes, not sure how I'm going to survive!

    Honestly, the two years I'm in school will have sucked for both me and DH.  We don't have a lot of extra time for things, although we try to make time for at least some family activity once a week.  My husband is amazing, so supportive.  He has no problem taking E for a weekend day when I need to get work done.  I don't know how I would do it without a supportive partner.  When I first started, E wasn't sleeping through the night, but since about 13 months, E's sleep is more predictable, so I'm able to get more done during the week (as long as work work doesn't f things up!).

    There is no 'good' time to go back to school, but once you make the decision, stick with it. Good luck!

    ETA: oh, the other thing that was an adjustment for me was to get used to turning in less than my best quality of work or settling for Bs.  I was a 4.0 student in hs/college, but I want to make sure I still have time for E.  Still being able to be a mom was important to me, more important than getting an A.  I had to get comfortable turning in assignments that maybe weren't 100% perfect or taking a test unprepared.  I strive for Bs, and for the most part, have ended up on the A-/B+ side of things.  I think i'm leaving my Cs for when baby 2 arrives!
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  • krose0713krose0713 member
    @litzo27‌ deciding between the second masters and my PhD has a lot to do with what direction I'll go in within my career. With the PhD, I'd be heading in a research/professorship direction, with the second masters I'd be going in a different direction. If I were to stay in the position I am in now, the PhD would definitely be the better choice (and make the most sense cost wise), but the second masters would allow me to branch into a new area that I am very interested in.

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