TTC - Donor Insemination

BostonAlison · May 2014

Hi!

My husband and I are trying to get pregnant, using donor insemination.

The Short Story:

I've never been pregnant, I've never tried before
I'm 33, he's 50. (Second Marriage)

He had a vasectomy 16 years ago

We want to try for a pregnancy

We are choosing to try at home insemination a few times, I have also met with a midwife, and if our at home attempts don't work we'll try a few attempts with purchased donor sperm, paying for the IUI. Our insurance won't cover IUI or IVF or a RE until I've been "exposed to sperm" for a year.

I have two good friends (gay couple) who have both offered to be fresh donors for us. I am so very thankful!

I have been gifted a Clearblue easy fertility monitor that I've been using now for two months... The first month I didn't have any egg days... this month I had two egg days.

*edited to include*

I've also been taking Pre-Natals prescribed by my OBGYN and been charting basal body temperature, and cervical mucus... using the Kindara app.. (which is awesome... It has a Q&A section and examples of charts and such..)

We hope to have our first attempt in June or July... I just wanted to introduce myself to the forum, because I'm sure I'll have stupid newbie questions

BostonAlison · May 2014

Yeah I was a bit weirded out by the phrase too... lol

Also, apparently I made this account while researching for my wedding in 2004... and never posted.

Holy old account batman!

urani · May 2014

Welcome and good luck.

My brain isn't working this morning, I totally read the thread title as Doctor Insemination

PrimRoseMama · May 2014

Just a question, & pardon my ignorance-- the vasectomy doesn't prevent your husband from producing sperm, right? Just expelling them?

Would it be possible to harvest his sperm or no? I am strictly curious. It sounds like y'all are set on a donor but reading your post made the question pop into my head.

Good luck on whatever route you choose & FX for a BFP soon.

pippacricket · May 2014

Welcome!

catmagick · May 2014

Welcome! I am also curious about what Prim said.

BostonAlison · May 2014

PrimRoseMama said:

Just a question, & pardon my ignorance-- the vasectomy doesn't prevent your husband from producing sperm, right? Just expelling them? Would it be possible to harvest his sperm or no? I am strictly curious. It sounds like y'all are set on a donor but reading your post made the question pop into my head. Good luck on whatever route you choose & FX for a BFP soon.

Well, sort of.

We talked to 2 fertility Dr's (huge waste of money

neither could help us, and one was downright mean.. for the price of the 2 consults, I could have purchased 1 vial of frozen sperm... ughhh..)

But we did learn that we can aspirate Hub's sperm, but it'd have to be for IVF, not IUI or ICI. The sperm are produced but can't mature, so they can't really swim...

And my pockets aren't quite that deep for paying for IVF.

Hubby approached me about trying donor sperm, which was really a surprise...

Ducktale · May 2014

Your fertility monitor won't confirm you are ovulated, it only detects the hormone that causes ovulation. You can have this hormone surge multiple times a cycle, or you can test at the wrong time of day and miss your surge. Some people never get a positive and still ovulate. Look into charting your basal body temperature. There's info in the newbie blog, which I recommend you read, and also sign up for fertility friend and take the tutorials. Good luck!

lebradford · May 2014

Wow! That's awesome of your friends to help you out like that. Good luck to you!

Also, I agree with @Ducktale, you might want to look into temping. :-)

BostonAlison · May 2014

Ducktale said:

Your fertility monitor won't confirm you are ovulated, it only detects the hormone that causes ovulation. You can have this hormone surge multiple times a cycle, or you can test at the wrong time of day and miss your surge. Some people never get a positive and still ovulate. Look into charting your basal body temperature. There's info in the newbie blog, which I recommend you read, and also sign up for fertility friend and take the tutorials. Good luck!

Thanks!

I should edit the original post... I've also been using a fertility app, charting cervical mucous and basal body temperature for the last couple of months as well.. From what I've been googling, the temperature shift generally can "verify" Ovulation?

I also have been taking pre-natal vitamins, (as suggested and prescribed by the midwife.OBGYN I see for my yearlys)

BostonAlison · May 2014

I'll search Fertility Friend..

I had found this one originally..

https://www.kindara.com/home

BostonAlison · May 2014

slappalicious said:

Welcome and good luck! My H and I have a similar age gap!

Has your H considered a reversal?

Thanks!

To tell you the truth, we forget about the age gap pretty often

We did consider a reversal... we did the research, and priced it out.. and it's too expensive ($3,000-$6,000) for a 5-15% chance of success, because his procedure was so long ago. Insurance won't cover reversal (or re-doing the procedure)..

PrimRoseMama · May 2014

@BostonAlison‌ : thank you for answering my question! Good luck to you!

WinningColors · May 2014

Welcome and good luck!

Ducktale · May 2014

BostonAlison said:

Ducktale said:

Your fertility monitor won't confirm you are ovulated, it only detects the hormone that causes ovulation. You can have this hormone surge multiple times a cycle, or you can test at the wrong time of day and miss your surge. Some people never get a positive and still ovulate. Look into charting your basal body temperature. There's info in the newbie blog, which I recommend you read, and also sign up for fertility friend and take the tutorials. Good luck!

Thanks!

I should edit the original post... I've also been using a fertility app, charting cervical mucous and basal body temperature for the last couple of months as well.. From what I've been googling, the temperature shift generally can "verify" Ovulation?

I also have been taking pre-natal vitamins, (as suggested and prescribed by the midwife.OBGYN I see for my yearlys)

Yep, you got it! That's great. Some people here use Kindara. I've heard some plug in the same data into both and find FF does a better job of pinpointing ovulation, but if you are having success with Kindara, that's fine. I think FF is easier to link on here if you need feedback from others.

kelley72 · May 2014

Hope your journey is short and sweet!

Twinkie0612 · May 2014

GL! Also as someone who is using 3rd party reproduction, I would recommend talking to a lawyer about drawing up a contract for the donor. I know they are friends, but it's best to have these things outlined in a legal sense for clarification.

I have a recommendation for a lawyer who specializes in 3rd party reproduction if you are interested, he charges a fee for the service instead of by hour. I have not used him but know other ladies that have.

smg2302 · May 2014

BostonAlison said:

slappalicious said:

Welcome and good luck! My H and I have a similar age gap!

Has your H considered a reversal?

Thanks!

To tell you the truth, we forget about the age gap pretty often

We did consider a reversal... we did the research, and priced it out.. and it's too expensive ($3,000-$6,000) for a 5-15% chance of success, because his procedure was so long ago. Insurance won't cover reversal (or re-doing the procedure)..

Not to discount statistics, but my father had a reversal and I am the product! My parents were in a similar situation, second marriage and family, but at the time IVF and IUI weren't even recommendations. Good luck in your process!

cannolioh · May 2014

Welcome and good luck!

Lizbeth2462 · May 2014

Welcome and lots of luck to you!

rlpointer · May 2014

Welcome and good luck!

KatzKiss · May 2014

Welcome and good luck!

lilsneezy · May 2014

Welcome and good luck!!

PuppyLove84 · May 2014

My H and his younger bro are the products of a reversal as well! :-) But I don't think there was as much time in between the procedure and the reversal. (I haven't really asked, though, since prying into my in-laws' fertility issues doesn't appeal to me! lol)

Good luck and welcome!

raelynn71109 · May 2014

Twinkie0612 said:
GL! Also as someone who is using 3rd party reproduction, I would recommend talking to a lawyer about drawing up a contract for the donor. I know they are friends, but it's best to have these things outlined in a legal sense for clarification.

I have a recommendation for a lawyer who specializes in 3rd party reproduction if you are interested, he charges a fee for the service instead of by hour. I have not used him but know other ladies that have.

This! Also, it usually varies by state, but in my state when you use donor sperm and don't go through a medical facility, the donor is considered the legal father (even with a contract stating otherwise). May never be an issue in your case, but it does open the donor and your family up to potential issues with regard to child support, visitation, etc. Definitely worth talking to a lawyer!

Welcome and good luck! :-)

Tea+ · May 2014

Good luck! Hope things go well moving forward! [:

SpartanChick88 · May 2014

Welcome! That was a heck of an intro! Wishing you nothing but success as you traverse the tough path you have chosen. You are very lucky to have such good friends who are willing to help you out! Good luck and I hope your stay here is short!