Walking on eggshells

padma55 · May 2014

I *vowed* I wouldn't spaz out about the noise level when Phoenix sleeps. Then reality set it, and when you've been holding a screaming baby for three house and he finally settles in to sleep, the last thing you want is someone stomping/slamming/yelling/slurping/clanking/bashing/singing in your home. I have a white noise machine going all day in the bedroom, but it's not really noises that wake him up, it's pounding, like walking or doors shutting, and we have hardwood floors so it's kind of loud when people walk. I really thought I would be cool about this, but I find myself getting crazier and crazier about the noise my other kiddos and SO make when baby is asleep. It's my boob and my arms and my voice and my legs soothing that sweet little creature if they wake him up, and really, I can't be nice about it at the end of the day. I need people to literally walk on their tippy toes, and use sign language, and preferably just not move or speak or breathe. I've officially hit a new low. Please tell me I'm not alone here. (As I'm typing this the neighbor is running his lawn mower by the bedroom window, and the baby is now awake. Shoot me now.)

WifeofaComposer · May 2014

You're not alone. I flipped my shit at my DH and my big kid the other day. They both had a cold, and the LO had been fussing for a couple of hours, so when he finally got to sleep and he squirmed with every cough/sniffle/sneeze, I got pissed. When my DH sneezed really loud he woke the baby, and I yelled at him to sneeze into a pillow from now on. Our LO startles very easily at sharp noises, like sneezes and plastic bags rustling - I've learned not to change the trash bag when LO is napping. Also, the people who live in the apartment above our garage keep their music so loud that we can't watch TV in our livingroom (it's obnoxious, crappy music, too), and it is very disruptive to naps and bedtime, but I don't want to be the asshole to tell them what they can and can't do in their own home. Someday, they may just come home to find their stereo doesn't work anymore...

Dixon813 · May 2014

I don't say anything to DH or SS during the day but I've definitely snapped at SS for shutting the bathroom door (right across from DS) really hard one morning when he was getting ready for school and DS was still sleeping. The other day I wanted to yell at DH to walk more quietly when he was leaving for work. We, too, have hard wood, and I felt like he was clomping all through the house!!

fourthnlast · May 2014

Omg, yes!!! When i finally get her settled down, STFU!

Teresa1896 · May 2014

Yep, you're not alone. Most of the time, LO sleeps through noise. But at the times he's been fussing forever and fiiiinally falls asleep, the world must stand still! That's usually the time when my asshole dog decides to bark. He's a fucker. Again, I say... It's a good thing he's cute.

RedDawnsRevenge · May 2014

I purposely make a shit ton of noise to make DD2 a better sleeper because I'll never be able to make this house or the people in it quiter. We have a house built in 1920 with the original windows and wood floors, talk about noisy! So all I can do it work to desensitize her.

lcr23 · May 2014

DH insists she's "fine with noise". Really?!? Not when she's been screaming, I finally get her to sleep and that noise that she's fine with wakes her up!

padma55 · May 2014

@RedDawnsRevenge, I'm so envious, and I love that idea.

RedDawnsRevenge · May 2014

I don't think you have anything to lose by trying to desensitize. Last week I went to my parents house to celebrate DD1's 2nd B-Day and DD2 slept through their bloodhounds never ending barking so it definitely works!

selina1113 · May 2014

It depends on how deeply mine is sleeping. The harder it is to get him down, the easier it is to wake him. Go figure. I have made death threats to
DH when he comes stomping in, trying to chat, after I did the work to get DS to finally sleep.

reillyea · May 2014

I was totally thinking our baby would sleep through anything before she was born. Now that she is here, I find myself trying to be super quiet. Dh is super good about being quiet so i dont have to yell at him. Its a little different when you have been trying forever to get them to sleep, you want them to stay asleep!

Calla123 · May 2014

I try to make a lot of noise so that she gets used to it....I vacuum while she naps, do the dishes loudly, keep on the tv or music etc. I was the same with my dd and she naps through everything...including our dogs running to bark at the doorbell, vacuum, lawn mowers etc. I am not one to be quiet so I don't even bother trying.

MamaFantastic · May 2014

i have found a very effective technique for "motivating" kiddo to be quiet when tessa is napping:

i remind him if he is loud and he wakes her up, our fun will immediately stop because i will need to go spend more time with her to get her back to sleep. usually that's enough to keep him quiet for the next 12 seconds before he forgets and stomps around or yells "moooommmmmyyyyy" too loudly. i have given the death glare and frantic silent "hand shooing" gesture to my unwelcome little visitor more often than i'd care to admit as i'm in our walk in closet (where she sleeps) bouncing and shushing in the seemingly endless rhythm while i internally pray she falls asleep quickly and he somehow stays quiet and finds an activity elsewhere.

the STM advantage here is that i DO know this will pass... though that's no consolation in the moment!! i had a particularly craptastic night last night so i'm extra sympathetic today

padma55 · May 2014

Thank you, @MamaFantastic, I have told my kiddos the same thing, only as it relates to them *eating*, since they're too old to think I'm fun anymore. I just tell them if they are loud and baby wakes up, they can fend for themselves for dinner since I'll be busy putting baby down again. That's a pretty legit motivator for them it appears. They came home tonight and have been whispering all night. ;-)

MamaFantastic · May 2014

brilliant!!

Laroo0220 · May 2014

I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I feel like all I do is tell my 5 year old to be quiet. He just doesn't get it. I've tried telling him the fun will end when dd wakes up as well and it works for 10 seconds with us as well. I was feeling so guilty about this but I'm glad I'm not alone. I was totally in the "make noise so they will sleep through anything" camp with ds but dd does not sleep for crap and is so fussy all the time that I'm a psycho when it comes to keeping her asleep.

ksulli · May 2014

With dd1 the deal was 'you break it, you buy it' in terms of whoever wakes the baby sooths the baby (beyond my boobs being the only solution). Somewhat harder to implement with a second child running around.

*sparky* · May 2014

jellysparkles said:
I'm in the desensitization camp - although sometimes (leap weeks especially apparently) all bets are off. We're in quiet mode this week. I'm lucky I can trust DD1 out in our yard by herself/with the dog for small periods of time.

This is our house too. DD is going through her first leap now and every little thing wakes her up and it's nearly impossible to get her to fall asleep during the day. Even if I am holding her, running the fan in the bathroom, using white noise app, etc. so everyone must be quiet when she's napping. Hoping she goes back to sleeping like a rock after this - I don't want to have to be shushing all the time. I prefer the desensitizing method.

Cassi215 · May 2014

I live in a borough (close houses and lots of twins) I have two dogs and my neighbor just got ducks. Wtf do you do with pet ducks in a 10x20ft yard?!?!? They drive my dogs nuts. Thank God I have good sleepers or it'd be duck season!!!!

maelic · May 2014

I'm the opposite, really. Every visitor we've had insists on timidly knocking on the front door (or texting us to be let in). Just use the doorbell! She sleeps fine through all sorts of noise, I can vacuum next to her head and she barely stirs. I'd love to keep it that way.

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