Advice needed!!

tabatharose83 · May 2014

Hey all you STMs I could really use some advice!!! I am currently a full time student in a very high demand laboratory technician program. The program requires 8 weeks of clinicals, which consists of working 40 hours a week in an assigned hospital laboratory. My issue is that I am due in November and my clinicals start October 20th. The arrangements I made with my program director is that I can work up until my due date and take 3 weeks off and then return to finish my clinicals for the semester before Spring semester begins. I am wondering if this plan is realistic at all. I am a FTM and my husband hasn't had any experience with babies. I'm worried that my plan to go back so soon is not realistic and worry about leaving a newborn with my clueless husband all day. I have the option of taking a leave of absence, which would require me to take the year off and start again at the same place I left the following year. I wouldn't mind taking the year off, but I fear I won't have the motivation to go back and finish once busy life with a child takes over. I have been struggling with this decision for a while and I am hoping to have it figured out before the Fall semester starts. Do you STMs think I will even be able to leave the baby that soon without it affecting me emotionally? I'd appreciate any advice you can give!!!

RedBirdFly · May 2014

I'm going to be going back to school two weeks after this baby is born, but I've also worked it out with my professors that I can take the baby to class as long as he/she is sleeping! However, I only have 13 credit hours a week, even if the coursework is going to be difficult. I feel like I will be able to leave the baby soon emotionally, but only for a few hours at a time. I will have to, because my husband won't be here in all likelihood (Navy), and I will have things to do without the baby.

If you take a leave of absence, could you do something like volunteer work in the meantime so that it keeps you motivated? Another thing to consider is that if you plan on breastfeeding, from what I've heard/read, your supply won't be fully established until the baby is 6 weeks old, so 40 hours a week where you'll be pumping might make breastfeeding more difficult for you if you plan on doing it. I don't know, though, I'm only speculating!

tabatharose83 · May 2014

RedBirdFly said:

I'm going to be going back to school two weeks after this baby is born, but I've also worked it out with my professors that I can take the baby to class as long as he/she is sleeping! However, I only have 13 credit hours a week, even if the coursework is going to be difficult. I feel like I will be able to leave the baby soon emotionally, but only for a few hours at a time. I will have to, because my husband won't be here in all likelihood (Navy), and I will have things to do without the baby.

If you take a leave of absence, could you do something like volunteer work in the meantime so that it keeps you motivated? Another thing to consider is that if you plan on breastfeeding, from what I've heard/read, your supply won't be fully established until the baby is 6 weeks old, so 40 hours a week where you'll be pumping might make breastfeeding more difficult for you if you plan on doing it. I don't know, though, I'm only speculating!

I do plan to breast feed. And on top of the 40 hours a week clinicals, I will also have a class once a week which will include online work as well. The program is 16 credit hours, which is a scary amount of work in general but makes it even scarier throwing a baby in there. I also won't have the option of bringing the baby with me, which will make things that much more difficult. I also forgot to add that making up my time off of clinicals will run through Christmas and New Year's break, so as soon as I am finished I will have to go right into Spring semester and Spring clinicals as well.

jlove253 · May 2014

Is there any way you can start early? With my MACP program I was able to start my internship a little earlier than everyone else and rack up a bunch of hours that way. I sacrificed some summer break and the ability to take it easy at te end of my 3rd tri, but it was worth it! And it was still awful to go back after dd was a few months old.

RedBirdFly · May 2014

tabatharose83 said:

RedBirdFly said:

I'm going to be going back to school two weeks after this baby is born, but I've also worked it out with my professors that I can take the baby to class as long as he/she is sleeping! However, I only have 13 credit hours a week, even if the coursework is going to be difficult. I feel like I will be able to leave the baby soon emotionally, but only for a few hours at a time. I will have to, because my husband won't be here in all likelihood (Navy), and I will have things to do without the baby.

If you take a leave of absence, could you do something like volunteer work in the meantime so that it keeps you motivated? Another thing to consider is that if you plan on breastfeeding, from what I've heard/read, your supply won't be fully established until the baby is 6 weeks old, so 40 hours a week where you'll be pumping might make breastfeeding more difficult for you if you plan on doing it. I don't know, though, I'm only speculating!

I do plan to breast feed. And on top of the 40 hours a week clinicals, I will also have a class once a week which will include online work as well. The program is 16 credit hours, which is a scary amount of work in general but makes it even scarier throwing a baby in there. I also won't have the option of bringing the baby with me, which will make things that much more difficult. I also forgot to add that making up my time off of clinicals will run through Christmas and New Year's break, so as soon as I am finished I will have to go right into Spring semester and Spring clinicals as well.

Personally, that'd be too much work for me right after baby. If you were going to be getting more of a break - like 5/6 weeks to stay home and bond, I would say go for it. As it is, I think you're going to have to think really long and hard about it. Will the baby be able to stay with your husband for the 40 hours and the 16 credit hours? Will you need to find a sitter/daycare? Is there family you can trust around there that will help? Also remember that babies don't STTN for quite some time, and when they do, it's about 6 uninterrupted hours, so you won't be getting much sleep.

How many weeks of clinicals will you have left, roughly, after you deliver? If it's 1 or 2, it might be doable, but after that I think your work might start to suffer from lack of sleep and general stress. DS was up about every 2-3 hours until he was two months old, and the only thing that saved me is that I was staying with my family and they were able to help me nap - and I didn't work or go to school then! I'm scaring myself with the courseload I have next semester, since it's all fairly difficult classes.

laurasue0513 · May 2014

I commend you for being so motivated to continue school!! I don't know you personally, so I apologize if this is far off, but based on how I felt and how many of my friends felt after LO was born, you will not want to leave your baby that soon for long periods. LO felt like my third arm, and leaving him for even an hour after a month, I felt like I was missing a body part. Plus, you will still be post partum, and recovering from the delivery and the hormonal drop which can reck havoc on you emotionally. And, as previous poster mentioned, it will make breastfeeding very challenging. IMHO, I would take the year. I would give anything to be home with DS the first year. After a year, I would be ok leaving him at daycare all day, no problem. I strongly feel that after a year, you will be ready and eager to get back in the swing, not reluctant. Good luck, whatever you do decide!

tabatharose83 · May 2014

jlove253 said:

Is there any way you can start early? With my MACP program I was able to start my internship a little earlier than everyone else and rack up a bunch of hours that way. I sacrificed some summer break and the ability to take it easy at te end of my 3rd tri, but it was worth it! And it was still awful to go back after dd was a few months old.

Unfortunately I don't have that option. The program itself is very difficult to get accepted into and they follow a very strict schedule, including the clinical schedule with the hospitals. I was informed that they do this because getting new students ready takes a great deal of their time so they have to maintain a consistent schedule. I already have classes I have to take this summer, so even if they allowed me to get a head start I wouldn't have time with my current school schedule. It was a good idea, I only wish I could do that! Thank you!

emoxymoose · May 2014

laurasue0513 said:

I commend you for being so motivated to continue school!! I don't know you personally, so I apologize if this is far off, but based on how I felt and how many of my friends felt after LO was born, you will not want to leave your baby that soon for long periods. LO felt like my third arm, and leaving him for even an hour after a month, I felt like I was missing a body part. Plus, you will still be post partum, and recovering from the delivery and the hormonal drop which can reck havoc on you emotionally. And, as previous poster mentioned, it will make breastfeeding very challenging. IMHO, I would take the year. I would give anything to be home with DS the first year. After a year, I would be ok leaving him at daycare all day, no problem. I strongly feel that after a year, you will be ready and eager to get back in the swing, not reluctant. Good luck, whatever you do decide!

I couldn't agree with this more. I'm a SAHM and my son is about to turn two, I couldn't of left him in the beginning but it wouldn't of been so hard after a year. I think you should just take the leave of absence and enjoy the time with your LO, if you can.

Edit: spelling

KTgator · May 2014

If you are planning to bf and can't take baby with you I would really think about taking the year off. If it is something you are passionate about you will definitely find the motivation to go back. The first few months are really hard, and solidifying your supply is vital to a successful bfing relationship. Pumping is hard work (something you would be doing every 2-3 hours in order to keep your supply up for baby's needs). At weeks 2, 4, and 6 my daughter had growth spurts which caused her to want to cluster feed in order to increase my supply. I think you could totally go back to work/ school, but it would be stressful and probably more beneficial for your recovery to take that time off if you can. Just my 2 cents

I wish you all the best in making these tough decisions!

shindylahoe · May 2014

I personally don't think 3 weeks is enough. You usually aren't even cleared to start exercising until 6 weeks.

At 3 weeks your body is still trying to recover I would try to arrange more time if you can.

Maelara · May 2014

3 weeks isn't a lot of time, especially if you end up needing a csection. When is the latest you can let them know your decision? In Canada, we get a year off and one of two things end up happening:

1. You don't go back. You figure it out financially (this is me).

2. You go back just fine. I don't think you will have any issues being motivated, especially if it's something you really love.

Good luck with your decision

it sounds like a hard one to make!

Momma&babies · May 2014

I didn't read others comments but my opinion would be to really consider the year leave. 3 weeks is very young, not that daddy can't do it if you coach him on everything but your will probably be worried and nervous about leaving baby so soon.

tabatharose83 · May 2014

shindylahoe said:

I personally don't think 3 weeks is enough. You usually aren't even cleared to start exercising until 6 weeks. At 3 weeks your body is still trying to recover I would try to arrange more time if you can.

I wish I could take more time than 3 weeks, but with the schedule I wouldn't have enough time to make up more than 3 weeks off before Spring semester begins. If I am behind when Spring semester starts I won't get to graduate and will possibly be removed from the program involuntarily because of their very strict rules. I also worry that if I or the baby have any issues I won't have any leeway to take a day off here or there, because the program only allows you the miss 3 days for the entirety. If you miss more than 3 days you are removed from the program. That is why this decision has been weighing on me so heavily because I don't want to decide to give it a go and end up being removed because it is too difficult. If that were to happen I wouldn't have any choice to go back and that would be years of hard work wasted. I do believe I can remain motivated to go back if I continue taking classes. I can take just a couple of classes online and I can take half term ones so I am free when I have the baby. I guess my biggest issue is being a disappointment to so many people who have supported me throughout my school career. It was hard to go back to school at 30 and I have done so well, I'd hate to disappoint anyone including myself. But I've wanted to be a mom forever, and it means more to me than anything in the world. Considering recovery time and bf it is looking more and more like a year off would only benefit us. Thank you all for your advice so far!! It really does help!

moroccojade · May 2014

I would absolutely take the year off. You can always go back and finish (give yourself a FIRM date of that 1 year -- and stick to it).

But you will never have that time with your baby again. They grow up FAST. You want to miss as little as possible.

sunflwra · May 2014

I'm sure it's difficult but I honestly think I'd take the year. If you happen to have to have a c-section, I don't know that you'd physically be ready to return to a program like that and I'd also add that my daughter was sick a lot the first year and I had to take most of my time off that first year for her illnesses. It's a day here and there but it adds up and I'd be concerned with that no more than 3 absences rule.

Sarahbeth612 · May 2014

What difficult timing! I agree with the other ladies. I think it's fantastic you've come this far and you're so motivated, but that's quite a work load on top of adjusting to being a new mom. Don't rush yourself. You want to be able to put 100% into each. Good luck!

Nfranco973 · May 2014

tabatharose83 said:
Hey all you STMs I could really use some advice!!! I am currently a full time student in a very high demand laboratory technician program. The program requires 8 weeks of clinicals, which consists of working 40 hours a week in an assigned hospital laboratory. My issue is that I am due in November and my clinicals start October 20th. The arrangements I made with my program director is that I can work up until my due date and take 3 weeks off and then return to finish my clinicals for the semester before Spring semester begins. I am wondering if this plan is realistic at all. I am a FTM and my husband hasn't had any experience with babies. I'm worried that my plan to go back so soon is not realistic and worry about leaving a newborn with my clueless husband all day. I have the option of taking a leave of absence, which would require me to take the year off and start again at the same place I left the following year. I wouldn't mind taking the year off, but I fear I won't have the motivation to go back and finish once busy life with a child takes over. I have been struggling with this decision for a while and I am hoping to have it figured out before the Fall semester starts. Do you STMs think I will even be able to leave the baby that soon without it affecting me emotionally? I'd appreciate any advice you can give!!!

Let me give you my personal experience. Will it affect you emotionally? It won't kill you no .. But when you see that sweet lil baby face your mommy instincts kick in and you really don't want to be away too long or you feel like you may miss out on something. However, it all depends on you. It sounds like you really want to finish school and you have a need to. The first things that need to be figured out ( and the hardest) 1) who will take care of (I taught DS father very well 2) will you have csection ? Recovery is different. 3) will you be able to keep up with baby, household, school and DH at such a hectic time.
I can tell you that I did it with my son. I did have a csection but it took me 5-6 weeks to feel normal again fully. DH took care of baby in the morn and when I got home DH went to work. We also had to get DD to school in the morn.i would pick her up after school. It was not easy but it was what I had to do. DS was a good baby and he slept through the night only waking up to be fed RARE (his sister was VERY different)
I say do what you have to do sweetheart. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to make better lives for us and our family. You will still come home to your precious LO. Good luck! I admire your motivation!

mockingjay1 · May 2014

Going back at 3 weeks would be too early for me personally. Your milk supply is not established, you're not sleeping, you're still recovering, basically you're living in survival mode. I can't imagine doing so much work on top of having a 3 week old. Good luck deciding!

MommaKb710 · May 2014

Even as a SAHM I sometimes found it hard to continue nursing. I would imagine having to pump every 2-3 hours 5 days a week would have really taken a till on me and I would have given up way earlier than I would have liked.

Want a personalized experience?

Advice needed!!

Re: Advice needed!!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards