What postpartum mom's really need.

mamatohne · May 2014

I ran across this great article!

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5343907

staugustinewedding · May 2014

Thx for sharing!

laurasue0513 · May 2014

I am from January 2014 moms..I gave birth one month early at 36 weeks, so my son is 5 months 1 week. I am due NOvember 27th, but haven't done my intro on this board yet, mostly lurk every now and again. But, I HAD to respond to the post. This article is highly depressing. FTMs should not read it and I suspect the author had an especially hard time with the post partum period. It is not always like this and its all about perspective. Its true, the books and articles and friends, they don't tell you what its really like after you have a baby. That's because you wont listen. I could tell you my story until I am blue in the face and you will go ok, yea, totally, but you will not understand until you go through it. Period. Its hard. Damn hard. YOu will have a major drop in hormones and be emotional. For some, its the baby blues, which BTW is not always the BLUES all the time. You can cry because you are overwhelmed with love, which was the case with me. Either way, you will be emotional, and tired. But, its all that you are willing to do because you love your baby and THAT is what is instinctual. It just comes, and you just get through because its about survival. And its over in the blink of the eye. That newborn phase is gone so quickly and then you are looking at your infant, who is babbling and sitting up and your like WTF, where did that newborn go. ENJOY IT. ALL OF IT. The hard times the good times..you will probably at one point or another be on thr floor crying right along with your infant, and in a few short months you will be laughing with your DH b/c you were on the floor crying with your infant. lol. Enjoy the ride.

Maelara · May 2014

This made me cry! It's so true. I remember feeling so alone, even though my DH and mom both took time off.

I am also so thankful, every single day that I get a year of maternity leave. It has it's down falls (you must work 1 year or a certain amount if hours before you get this benefit and you only get 55% of your wage unless your employer tops you up. Most don't.) but it's a major blessing and one of the reasons I'll probably never leave this country.

sunflwra · May 2014

The article may be depressing but it is also very realistic for some scenarios. I honestly think it's more about US culture versus others when it comes to maternity leave but has some very good points. The biggest thing I can say to FTMs is to not be afraid to ask for help. There are a lot of women out there who want to act like motherhood is all unicorns and rainbows and there are definitely those parts but there are also very lonely or overwhelming parts and to act as if those don't exist doesn't help anyone.

Make your husbands/SOs step up if they aren't doing it on their own. Some birth recoveries are easy and some most certainly are not. When I hear about women whose husbands don't change a diaper or give a bottle, it pisses me off. But there are also the non-baby things that they can do- empty the dishwasher, go grocery shopping, etc. Have family/friends help where they can. My mom came for a week- she cooked, picked up around the house, helped with some overnight feedings so we could get some sleep, helped me run errands. and a ton more and then my mother-in-law came 2 weeks later and did the same thing. It was unbelievably helpful. It's a crazy time in your life and it's very hard to prepare for it. Even as a STM, I'm worried bc I know I had a very easy baby with my first and this time around could be very different. Just don't be scared to ask for help from those around you, whatever form that might be in.

mamatohne · May 2014

Scary or not, To know it's perfectly normal to feel the way you do is reassuring. I had a rough 3 months after my son was born. I cried for hours I am so glad my best friend told me about her experience. Or I would of thought I was crazy.

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