boy crazy in 1st grade — The Bump
School-Aged Children

boy crazy in 1st grade

My DD has been talking frequently about having "a crush" on a certain boy at school.  (she had to ask me what "a crush" was because an older girl said it to her).  She also mentions how her and this boy are "falling in love."  Is this normal for this age?  To me it seems way too early.  I know she is interested in love/marriage aspect of life because of princess movies and having been to a family wedding.  I've tried to downplay it a bit by saying its nice to be friends with boy, girls, everyone, etc.  Because we are christian I've also said that its good for us to love everyone as Jesus did.  She seemed satisfied by me just listening and stating the above.  But recently they have started trading notes, pictures and candy.  DH and I have tried reinforcing the above and reminding her you have to be an adult to get married.  any suggestions how to handle/ignore?
DD#1 5 years DD#2 3 years

Re: boy crazy in 1st grade

  • I was boy crazy in K.  We played "chase" out on the playground.  I had a "boyfriend" from 3rd-5th grade which really meant nothing other than I liked him and we played together.  Our moms got along so we did exchange small Christmas and Valentine's gifts.

    My kids are in 2nd and DD has gotten a couple of pictures from one particular boy.  I think it's cute and you shouldn't worry.  I'd just engage her with what she thinks some of these things mean ie falling in love and give her your prospective on it. 

     I don't know what types of shows she watches, but IMO some of the teenish TV shows can make kids think "this is the way such and such it supposed to go" and younger kids will try to fall in line with some of these ideas.

    Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
  • I don't think all kids do this, but it is a stage that some kids go through in K or 1st.  When kids have a "special friend" who happens to be of the opposite sex at this age, I think media sort of influences little kids to interpret these friendships as "romantic."  I would just remind her that it's nice to have friends who are girls AND boys, and that while this boy is a special friend, and that it's fun to pretend to be "in love" with a boy, that all that stuff is for older kids, and she should just continue to be a nice person who can get along with lots of different people.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • since the 2nd week of school DD has announced she's "in love" with certain boys---she's 5 :-)
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  • Ds has a girlfriend in preschool, actually several.

    How you and I think of dating isn't the same as they do. Boy crazy is normal at any age...crushes are too.

    Just make sure they watch age appropriate shows as they get older (8+)...that's where it gets confusing, with their hormones and movies about kissing and sex. Older, more mature content will start mixing messages if there is no open dialogue. For me, I saw movies for older viewers and none of my parents spoke to me about sex or boys, and so i explored on my own w/o guidance. I thought sex = love.
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  • DD's been telling me about boys and girls in her class "going out" and "breaking up" since the beginning of the school year. She's 5. She even had a "boyfriend" at one point...but he punched her so she "broke up" with him. I guess that's a good sign, right? Right now she "likes" an older boy (a 3rd grader!) but when I teased her about kissing him she goes, ewwww, that's gross! I think we're safe for now :)
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  • My daughter is in K and she is the same way. She claims she has a boyfriends and squeals like crazy when anyone mentions the band 1D. I am super uncomfortable with the but my mom thinks it's "so cute" and encourages it. But ultimately if she sees kissing on TV or even if I give my husband a quick peck or something she gets all grossed out. I guess kids that age do a lot of talking without really understanding what they are talking about.
    As her mother I will probably never be comfortable with her talking about boyfriends or the like. She will always be my 7lb 16oz little bundle even when she is 16.
    I just try to make sure that she watches age appropriate TV (more often than not she still watches what my youngest watches but that's because she is being nice to him) and make sure that the PDA she is exposed to is minimal (my husband and I aren't much for being super touchy in public anyway).
    Our kids are growing up. It's cringe-worthy sometimes but it's not something we can stop (as much as we sometimes want to)
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