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Some Peoples Children - you won't believe what I overheard from a teen mom today!

MrsAdventureMrsAdventure member
in November 2014 Moms
Thought I'd share what I witnessed at lunch today. I think you all will get a giggle/seriously eye roll this:

While sitting at a deli eating a lunch, this woman came and sat down with her grandbaby (I'm guessing about 9 months-ish). She's playing with him and what not and he is just a cheerful, happy little thing. Then mom comes over. She's 18, tops. And she flops down and sighs. Her mom says to her (politely), "Did you get a cup of ice and napkins?" Even though it's obvious that she did not. The girl rolls her eyes, grabs her son and says in a really exacerbated, "No! I have to feed him!" All that was missing was a big fat 'Duh' at the end. So she proceeds to cover her self and start nursing and after a minute her mom says she's going to get their food the girl flips her lid. She starts bellowing, "you're leaving me?! Don't leave! What's wrong with you?" And the farther her mom walks the louder and more lame she gets, "Fine, just keep walking! That's right, just leave. You didn't even take the stroller! Who's gonna help me with the stroller?!" Mind you she is sitting there waiting for her mom to bring her her food, so why she thought she needed help with a stroller that she wasn't going to be moving any time soon is beyond me. But it gets better.

So her mom obviously didn't give a crap about her tantrum (which I was grateful for, even if her daughter was annoying as hell) and she quieted down for a bit. I was finished with my lunch by then but I admit I stuck around because I am nosey. So her mom comes back and the daughter starts in again with things like "God mom, your so rude, what's wrong with you?" Her mom tries to change the subject and starts talking about tomorrow. She informs her daughter that she has to work and her daughter will have to care for LO by herself. Cue daughter flipping out. She actually said, "I have to take care of him myself?! That's really messed up mom! I mean seriously, what's wrong with you?" Mom let into her then, and I really wanted to applaud... And laugh. I cannot wait for reality to hit that poor girl.

Anyone else see/hear this sort of thing go down? Did you intervene and reveal that, surprising enough, life is rough and to grow the heck up? I so wanted to!!
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Re: Some Peoples Children - you won't believe what I overheard from a teen mom today!

  • absolutelymaybeabsolutelymaybe member
    I'm just...speechless. Wow. Some people's children, indeed. 

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  • thedjinn88thedjinn88 member
    That was my cousin, she had her son at 15, she expected everyone to watch him, help with him, if she was bored or just done she would pass him off to her mom. It drove me nuts. She is 20 now and pregnant again, I'm not sure how she is going to do it without her mom around but it will be a reality check that's for sure.  
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  • MrsAdventureMrsAdventure member
    Maelara said:
    I just wonder, if that baby looked like he was about 9 months old, why is this the first time the mom will be alone with her own child? That's the grandmother doing something wrong... The 18 year old got pregnant, she can deal with the consequences.

    I was thinking that same thing about her being left alone for the first time! I was just so floored at the whole situation, but that is an excellent (and scary) point.
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  • creativesoul83creativesoul83 member
    They should make a show about that instead of 16 and pregnant or teen mom. Just shaking my head. what are these children thinking?!?!
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  • lisarenlisaren member
    Yeah, that was kinda what I was thinking. Maybe she was just having a really really shitty day.




                                  
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  • SarahHeckSarahHeck member
    My cousin is like that except she's in her late 30's. I supposed I'd find it amusing if I wasn't sitting at the table with her and my aunt when she does stuff like that.... Super embarrassing. The mom sounds a lot like my aunt. Totally oblivious. That's always the way their relationship has been. She is used to my cousin verbally abusing her and taking responsibily for every bad decision my cousin has ever made. It's sad.

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  • MrsAdventureMrsAdventure member
    SarahHeck said:
    My cousin is like that except she's in her late 30's. I supposed I'd find it amusing if I wasn't sitting at the table with her and my aunt when she does stuff like that.... Super embarrassing. The mom sounds a lot like my aunt. Totally oblivious. That's always the way their relationship has been. She is used to my cousin verbally abusing her and taking responsibily for every bad decision my cousin has ever made. It's sad.

    Aww, that would really suck. I can imagine that would make you want to disappear if they were acting that way with you around. I think if they were people I was close to, I'd have a hard time not saying something (but I'm sort of a nosey, outspoken kinda broad in those settings, lol)
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  • FirstBabyDoyleFirstBabyDoyle member
    bethas said:

    shan24 said:

    Yikes.


    I teach in a high school and I find I have a really hard time not correcting kids (and teens) when I'm out in public because I'm so used to doing it at work.  On a number of occasions, SO has had to steer me in another direction and tell me it's none of my business.  I would have had a really hard time not telling that girl to quiet down and respect her mother.
    I always catch myself starting to tell them to pull their pants up
    This. Teaching has made me a little too comfortable correcting others kids. I have to bite my tounge in public places very often.. take a deep breath "these are not your children, these are not your children, these are not your children." Glad I'm not alone.

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  • mander82mander82 member
    I would have smacked her face. Lol....pretty sure that's what my mom would do to me in that situation. As for missnacholovers story...holy crap. I don't think I want strangers looking at my kid.....I would never hand them over to one. Discipline is good, but you can't be a total twat to your kids either. Sheesh

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  • sweetbabyrahesweetbabyrahe member

    I'd like to think that I would have been better as a teen mom because my parents didn't put up with that crap. I got grounded for 2 weeks for saying "I hate you" to my mom. But I don't really know how much better I would be than these girls...I was so self centered at that time. @MrsAdventure and @missnacholover, I would have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut in your situations.

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  • ecmurray86ecmurray86 member
    I'm not trying to be a downer here, but this is a tougher call than it looks like. I work with teen moms, and I gotta say I have mad respect for them. For starters, they chose to not have an abortion, which is super brave and loving. After that, I think there are two things that help me see this whole interchange in a little different light. One is having experienced being depressed myself while single parenting- that'll drive you to be someone you never dreamt of in your life. Truly, depression and extreme stress are no joke, and I guarantee that most teen moms are both. The other thing is knowing what a lot of these young moms' lives and families are really like. We're talkin' complete social rejection isolation, rationing food stamps, scrounging for housing and child care, all the kinds of abuse, forced prostitution, gang pressure, fear for safety, baby daddy drama, and add on top of that trying to stay in school and having a baby or two or three (I first hand know girls with all these issues). Again, not trying to make folks feel bad, but life's hard, man! And being launched into parenthood when you're 27 is "lose your ish with your mom" hard, let alone 13.
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  • missnacholovermissnacholover member
    Maelara said:
    Wow, some people.

    I was on a loooong train ride a few months ago and there was a girl, about 18 or so, across the aisle with me.  She had her son with her, he was probably about 15ish months.  Adorable little dude. 

    Anyway, she was obviously very stressed and the kid was anxious because they had apparently already been on the train for 10 or so hours before I got on.  She was SO MEAN to the kid.  Like, yelling at him when he would whine, practically throwing him in his seat when he'd try to get up and walk around, etc.  It was borderline abuse.

    The woman (grandma type) who was in the seat next to me kept giving me looks like, "OMG, WTF?"  Finally she asked the girl if she could hold the little guy for a bit and the girl was like, "HERE!", giving her kid to a complete stranger.  So grandma held him, I flirted with him, and the kid was a doll.  He loved the positive attention and was eating it up.

    I just don't understand people.  I mean, I am all for disciplining your kids whenever they need discipline no matter where you are (I've seen parents put their kids in time out in the grocery store, which I think is awesome), but to absolutely lose your shit in public is uncalled for.  Especially when it's an itty bitty kid who doesn't know any better.

    Anyway.  Sounds like the girl in your story, OP, seriously wasn't ready for motherhood.  I feel bad for her mom.  But at the same time, her mom needs to make her grow the F up and take on some responsibilities.  Her heart is probably in the right place and she probably thinks she's doing right by her grandbaby, but she isn't doing her daughter any favors.
    How this girl dealt with her son is flabbergasting. It's appalling. That said, being on a train with a infant or toddler for that long is no joke. I know I would never, ever try and attempt this. It would be pure hell. My DD frustrates me on the best of days. When I feel like I can't control my frustration anymore, I put her somewhere safe and walk away. This happens to ever single parent. This girl couldn't do that. However, borderline abuse is NOT ok. When you FTMs have your babies, the nurses will talk to you a lot about shaken baby syndrome. I thought this was so ridiculous, I mean, I would NEVER shake or harm my child. It's not in my nature, not even close. However, when that baby won't stop crying and you don't know why, shaking becomes this impulse. That's when you put the baby in their crib and go to the bathroom (turn on the water so you can't hear anything) and cry. I say all this because that mom on the train couldn't get away. Even for a minute. She was sitting right there, any offer of help would have been taken. I wasn't there, so I don't know the extent of what went down.
    I agree, she had no escape.  I felt bad for her because she was obviously stressed to the max but at the same time it made me sad because if this is how she treats her son in public, how is she in private? 

    I try to "Pack my patience" when I know I'm going into a stressful situation.  Like flying, black friday shopping, etc.  It tends to help me a lot with my attitude and stress level if I do this!
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  • MaelaraMaelara member
    @missnacholover‌ I agree! I would seriously hope this was just a stressful situation and she doesn't normally treat her son that way. I also pack a ton of things that I know will occupy DD and honestly, I would have probably let her walk around (with supervision).

    @ClrkKntismyAE‌ wow. Scream in his face? That's a little much :/ walking away is the best thing for you and baby at times like that. It won't hurt them to cry for a few minutes while you compose yourself. We are humans, we need to do this! Sometimes a lot, depending on how much sleep you didn't get the night before.
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  • MaelaraMaelara member
    ClrkKntismyAE said:

    @Maelara She will sit down in front of him and scream back at him. She thinks he does it on purpose.

    Holy crap on a cracker! That poor kid!
    Infants and toddlers don't know any better yet and she isn't exactly showing a shining example of what is to be expected 0.o
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  • missnacholovermissnacholover member
    Maelara said:
    @Maelara She will sit down in front of him and scream back at him. She thinks he does it on purpose.
    Holy crap on a cracker! That poor kid! Infants and toddlers don't know any better yet and she isn't exactly showing a shining example of what is to be expected 0.o
    OMG, that poor kid.  I mean, babies and toddlers aren't exactly the world's best communicators, WTF does she expect?! 
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  • nonoemilynonoemily member
    Wow, way to model the behavior you are trying to discourage.

    Ugh, so over everyone who thinks they know more than me because they've been a parent longer.
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  • mander82mander82 member

    My DH swears by his freezer secret.    He kids and tells people that he used to put his daughter in the freezer,  but really,  he just opens the freezer door,  and holds the baby.    He said the cold air hits their face and it makes them stop crying instantly.     I will believe this when I see it,  but I am very glad that he is so confident that this trick will work.     :)

    I would never shake my baby,  but I can see myself letting them scream in one room,  while I turn up the TV in another......lol.     Of course,  I will tend to my baby,  but I have seen babies cry through anything and everything before,  and it is scary.  

    My MIL always says you cannot spoil a newborn.    

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  • MaelaraMaelara member
    mander82 said:

    My DH swears by his freezer secret.    He kids and tells people that he used to put his daughter in the freezer,  but really,  he just opens the freezer door,  and holds the baby.    He said the cold air hits their face and it makes them stop crying instantly.     I will believe this when I see it,  but I am very glad that he is so confident that this trick will work.     :)

    I would never shake my baby,  but I can see myself letting them scream in one room,  while I turn up the TV in another......lol.     Of course,  I will tend to my baby,  but I have seen babies cry through anything and everything before,  and it is scary.  

    My MIL always says you cannot spoil a newborn.    

    You can't spoil a newborn :) anybody who says this was given bad advice they are now passing along.

    Like I said before, I dismissed all the nurses that talked to me about shaking your baby because I would never do it either. But the urge DOES happen. Especially if you have PPD it PPA.
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  • minniemom112minniemom112 member
    Omg, I don't think I would have been able to sit there and not say a thing. I had DS one month before I turned 18. I lived with my parents, and of course they helped me when I asked, but I knew very well he was MY responsibility. Never has anyone needed to remind me that and never had I complained about not having help.
    The nerve of some girls... This is why most teen moms have such a bad rep.
    At least she's breastfeeding *sigh*
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  • NunyaBennisNunyaBennis member
    nonoemily said:

    I used to work in a restaurant near a high school and my waitresses were all teenage girls. I always had at least one pregnant girl, at one point we had three of them ...

    Sounds like there was something in the waiter!
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  • nonoemilynonoemily member
    NunyaBennis said:

    nonoemily said:

    I used to work in a restaurant near a high school and my waitresses were all teenage girls. I always had at least one pregnant girl, at one point we had three of them ...

    Sounds like there was something in the waiter!
    Nope, just the local high school in the poorest part of our city. I went into the school once to bring new menus to the office and was listening to them do intake for a new student...
    "Are you pregnant or parenting?"
    "Are you on probation or parole?"

    Really, you guys?

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  • nonoemilynonoemily member
    Similar to the freezer trick, I used to just take DS for a walk around the block. A little change of scenery helps everyone feel better.

    Of course, this is only convenient if you happen to wear pants all the time when you are home. DH and I.. Not always ready to step outside and wave to the neighbor.
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  • MaelaraMaelara member
    nonoemily said:

    Similar to the freezer trick, I used to just take DS for a walk around the block. A little change of scenery helps everyone feel better.

    Of course, this is only convenient if you happen to wear pants all the time when you are home. DH and I.. Not always ready to step outside and wave to the neighbor.

    This totally works! It also helps them fall asleep ;)
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  • MrsAdventureMrsAdventure member
    I'm loving all these tips! I'm a FTM, so I haven't spent a lot of time around newborns, except when visiting friends while their new babies are sleeping.
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