Intro. Overcoming fear of future pregnancies (siggy warning)

KateLouise · May 2014

Hi ladies,

Over the weekend had a miscarriage. 12 week scan on Friday showed pregnancy had stopped progressing at 8 weeks, and we were waiting for Monday to be assessed so a management plan could be determined.

I ended up haemmorhaging badly and needing an emergency D & C. I had gone into shock and my blood pressure dropped to 54/something. I was still conscious but could feel my extremities shutting down. I ended up with 3 anaesthetists because they needed someone to hold my throat to stop food coming up as they couldn't wait for what I'd eaten earlier in the evening to pass. I was given blood transfusions and needless to say it was very frightening, for myself and my husband.

The dr was very relaxed the next day about it being an abnormal event and that I can start TTC another baby as soon as I get my next period. For me I can't help but feel like I'm at risk of haemmorhaging and really don't want to experience what I went through again.

But I really want more children, and aren't quite ready to give up on that dream either.

Does anyone have any advice for overcoming a frightening medical emergency? I know some time passing will help, and my focus is getting fit and well again before thinking about TTC. I also will have a check up with my GP and have some questions for him, but just thought some ladies here might have some good ideas and thoughts?

Thanks

stephy1221 · May 2014

I am so very sorry for your loss and for the traumatic way it occurred.

The fear is normal and I think if given some time you will start to feel strong enough to try to concur the fear.

hugs.

**please note if you are going to be active on the loss community you should strongly consider removing your current siggy pic. People who post in this community are in various stages of loss and sometimes IF diagnosis. It can be very hard for some woman to see an infant picture, especially those with recent later pregnancy losses. There is a post on this board and TTCAL that cover the basic community etiquette. Thank you though for posting the siggy warning in the title.

KateLouise · May 2014

Thank you for your thoughts ladies. I'm sorry if my siggy may have caused anyone further pain. I have tried to remove it, but the bump is being problematic with updating my siggy.

Thank you again for your comments. I will try again with the siggy later on.

meredithcarole · May 2014

Sorry for your loss. If you click on the head and shoulders icon in the upper right hand corner of the page from a desktop it will take you to a profile page. There you should be able to edit you signatures and erase the picture. If you have tried that and it didn't save correctly I am not sure what the next step would be, but you can try contacting the administrator.

raelynn71109 · May 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. FWIW, I just had a conversation with a coworker who went through a very similar situation. She started hemorrahaging very badly, had to have blood transfusions and stayed in the hospital for three days following her D&C. She got pregnant again a few months later and had no complications with her subsequent pregnancy. I'm so sorry you had to go through such a frightening experience and I can understand the fear of going through it again. Hopefully it was an isolated incident and doesn't put you at risk for future pregnancies.

bralex2007 · May 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss, and that the hemorrhage had to add extra trauma to the experience. FWIW, I have hemorrhaged immediately after the delivery of both my living children (but not my miscarriage). My midwife told me I would hemorrhage with each subsequent delivery, but that my health was not at risk so long as I delivered in a hospital. My second hemorrhage my midwife was very prepared for due to my history, so while it wasn't fun and makes recovery much more difficult, my health was not really at risk. Also, I am more of a rare case. In most cases hemorrhaging is an isolated incident. Discuss your worries with your doctor--having my midwife be super prepared made all the difference.

mrsericawarren · May 2014

My miscarriage was similar. I lost my first pregnancy when I was working out of town and hemorrhaged and ended up being airlifted to the nearest trauma 1 center. My husband was terrified (he actually beat the helicopter to the hospital). Worst part it was my mother's birthday and I didn't want to tell her I was miscarrying so she didn't even know anything was wrong until my husband called her when he got to the hospital... My poor mom. Anyway, to get over it I've done anything and everything I could. I miscarried 7 months ago and we started trying again after 3 months or so with no luck yet. I ended up getting a puppy which has kinda helped me use some of that excess mothering energy I have. I also read one thousand gifts by Ann voskamp. Let's see, I also see a counselor, but I haven't felt better after a session quite yet... Still a lot of crying in my sessions. I'm stuck on why did God keep me alive and take my baby when it was the one thing I wanted?

ASRDH · May 2014

I had an ectopic pregnancy. It was found after severe pain and internal bleeding had already occurred. I am ready to try again. My husband is not. Going to a new Dr who specializes in high risk and surgery to explain my risks and probabilities after losing my tube. I'm sorry for your loss and the physical pain and fear. Time does help. Its been 8wks. I feel strong physically again. And the emotional rollercoaster is becoming more predictable.
Perhaps ask your Dr how these events will affect how you would be monitored if you chose to try again? The thought of more eyes of specialists and more frequent checkups are giving me some peace that IF something isn't right, it would be addressed without it becoming an emergency and the fear that brought on.

Intro. Overcoming fear of future pregnancies (siggy warning)

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