Marriage counseling??

katerpie · May 2014

Has anyone ever gone and has it helped. I'm really kinda lost right now. I'm new to the area and we are having problems. Wondering if this is a good route to go. Help.

TheOtherJacobsons · May 2014

I haven't, but if you feel like you could benefit from it, then go for it. I think it's worse to wait stuff out. Best to just talk about it.

Sockgnome78 · May 2014

DH and I have. We went through our church Pastor. We get a lot out of it. We still apply a lot to our marriage even from marriage counseling. If you are both willing to do it. It makes you stronger as a couple too.

kimberlymacrae · May 2014

I've gone to all sorts of therapy, individual, marriage, parenting, professional (career) and it has all helped.

Finding the therapist might prove to be a little difficult. It is like dating. You need to find one that matches your spiritual beliefs, your mindset, etc.

Start looking... it won't hurt!

lrobi13 · May 2014

I say go for it. If it gives you tools to use in order to make your marriage better/stronger then great, if it doesn't work (which I truly hope is not the case) then at least you know that you did what you could.

Best of luck to you.

golfingdarwinfish · May 2014

I see a therapist for an eating disorder and DH joins occasionally. At those sessions we tend to discuss communication, how to argue "fair", and things of that nature. He was passively resistant at first but now actually looks forward to it.

Honestly, I think therapy is a great thing for couples. But, if you are going to therapy to change or "fix" something, it works if both people are willing to put effort into voicing their concerns/needs and are also willing to change. If not, it's basically lip service.

ETA: added clarification

Jennifer18131 · May 2014

VCGolfNYC said:
Therapy works if both people are willing to put effort into voicing their concerns/needs and are also willing to change. If not, it's basically lip service.

This! Absolutely. Without knowing what you're having issues with, I suggest counseling. Don't overlook individual counseling as well. I learned a lot in my individual sessions that helped in my joint sessions.

megrae1026 · May 2014

DH and I did premarital counseling with a certified counselor and then continue to go once every 6 months or so for a "check up". I remember walking out of our first session feeling like we had gotten to know each other so much better in just an hour! It's definitely worth the investment!

lrobi13 · May 2014

kimberlymacrae said:

I've gone to all sorts of therapy, individual, marriage, parenting, professional (career) and it has all helped.

Finding the therapist might prove to be a little difficult. It is like dating. You need to find one that matches your spiritual beliefs, your mindset, etc.

Start looking... it won't hurt!

Hello stranger!

CynthiaVRey · May 2014

Worked and helped us in so many ways ! Was difficult getting DH to go but he did. I still go on my own every month just for support and to learn tools and I apply them to our marriage.
It's a struggle but I recommend it I hope it works for you . Marriage can be a challenge

kimberlymacrae · May 2014

lrobi13 said:

kimberlymacrae said:

I've gone to all sorts of therapy, individual, marriage, parenting, professional (career) and it has all helped.

Finding the therapist might prove to be a little difficult. It is like dating. You need to find one that matches your spiritual beliefs, your mindset, etc.

Start looking... it won't hurt!

Hello stranger!

IIIIII'MMMMM BAAAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!

ladybug0088 · May 2014

I've talked to someone about my anxiety and trying to learn to cope. It was really helpful just talking to someone and getting ideas of how to cope when it is triggered.

ANGnJON · May 2014

Yup, BTDT! After years of struggling with IF, DH & I went to couples therapy & I also attended individual therapy too! It was a great benefit to us! It gave us great coping skills & reunited us! I think if your open & honest you can also benefit, GL!

katerpie · May 2014

Thank you all soo soo much. This is my second pregnancy and its a very tough one on us. We found out we had twins and lost one. Then recently found out I have a very large tumor growing in my placenta and we can't get any doctors to help us. So it's been stressful. Also we recently are working things out after a year of separation. You all mean a lot thank you!

golfingdarwinfish · May 2014

katerpie said:

Thank you all soo soo much. This is my second pregnancy and its a very tough one on us. We found out we had twins and lost one. Then recently found out I have a very large tumor growing in my placenta and we can't get any doctors to help us. So it's been stressful. Also we recently are working things out after a year of separation. You all mean a lot thank you!

I'm so sorry for your loss and the struggles you are facing with this pregnancy.

The placenta originates from the blastocyst (fetal cells).... Has your ob referred out you for an amnio, or do they think it's unnecessary/too risky? I don't know where you live, but you may want to try calling large university hospitals in your area as they often have MFMs of higher caliber that are much more willing to take on high risk cases, or see exclusively uber high risk patients.

katerpie · May 2014

I live on an island in Seattle. I've gone through 6 doctors till I found one that would just talk to me. I got a call this evening that I am getting an emergency ultrasound tomorrow in downtown Seattle. Fingers crossed that everything is OK. I'm 18 weeks but measuring at 24. I'm really scared and don't have anyone to talk to about it with.

meggiev123 · May 2014

So sorry you're going through all of this! I'm glad you found a doctor who will give you the attention you need. Given all the stress in your life, I think talking with a counselor could certainly be helpful. I haven't done marriage counseling, but went to a therapist earlier in life and found it very helpful to talk things out and get them out of my head. Best of luck!

archi35 · May 2014

Jennifer18131 said:

VCGolfNYC said:
Therapy works if both people are willing to put effort into voicing their concerns/needs and are also willing to change. If not, it's basically lip service.

This! Absolutely. Without knowing what you're having issues with, I suggest counseling. Don't overlook individual counseling as well. I learned a lot in my individual sessions that helped in my joint sessions.

Jennifer18131. However even if you are able to find someone to talk to on your own it could help you process and deal. Assuming your partner is willing to go, be open and change their mindset (key part = change), then therapy can be a great forum to air things out and put them away. My husband and I went through a lot when we moved abroad and our marriage took a turn for the worse as a result. We were able to air out a lot of feelings and situations at the therapist's, and then actually put them away and stop bringing them up over and over. I wish you luck - whatever you end up doing do SOMEthing. Sitting in a rut never makes anything better.

Glas43 · May 2014

No real advise or experience here. But wanted to extend thoughts and prayers!

Kendrav4 · May 2014

I've done marriage counseling and it helped a lot...it helped to get a lot of my chest and to learn new ways to work through our problems.

Edit: and choose a counselor you can relate to I'm some fashion. We saw a female at first and switched to a man. My hubby just responded better with a male for some reason

bumpuser10309732 · May 2014

Counseling is never a bad idea whether your marriage is happily functioning or barely functioning. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time, I hope you find a doctor to help you with your situation!

megsandjohn · May 2014

Yep we are currently doing counselling. I was able to access it for free through my work benefits. We only get 6 hours but it's a good start. I think most couples could benefit from counselling, but especially if you're having issues, just go for it! It can't hurt and it's better to get that stuff out in the open. We've only been twice so far. The first time seemed useless but the second one was really helpful. I'm hoping it can help us make some progress.

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