Open Letter Tuesday

ziggy903 · May 2014

Dear DS,
Thanks for the squeals of delight. You're adorable and I'm sure the giraffe on the playmat is telling a lovely story to you.
Please continue to be awesome.

Dear cast,
YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED.

1linedrawing · May 2014

dear stupid ass neighbor biotch.

when i tell you that i held LO during her vaccinations (i'm getting a strong anti-vax vibe from her, because portland) there is no need to say "oh yea, and now she'll associate you with pain".

actually i was trying to comfort my daughter and you're a bitch,
your friendly neighborly neighbor.

spicysurro · May 2014

Dear Chiropractor,

Thank you for the adjustment but I don't need you to try and sell me a $90 belt for a bulging disc or anything else. Just adjust me and let me leave.

Dear LO,

Thank you for your smiles everyday, makes me feel like I'm doing an alright job if you are such a happy and growing girl.

1linedrawing · May 2014

car seat said:

Dear pediatrician, You should have someone on staff to hug a crying twin while the other one's being vaccinated. Thanksmuch, A mama who can't split in two

((hugs)) (with four arms)

C12H22O11 · May 2014

Sweet DD,

Let's eat today at daycare please. Mommy doesn't like the idea of you being on a hunger strike. I know you like boobies, but mommy's boobies have to go with her to work.

Love,
Your hardworking mommy

Dear Back,

WTF? Why are you hurting like a MFer? I can't bend over, I can't find a comfortable position at my desk, and I couldn't roll over in bed last night without being in pain. Let's get with the program, please. Until then, ibuprofen shall be my friend.

Thanks but no thanks,
Your owner

magentawarped · May 2014

Dear banana chip trail mix stuff,

Thank you for being delicious. If I'd spent that much on you and you'd sucked, I would have been very sad. Now at least I have a healthy snack.

Love,
The girl who misses Doritos

ahare2009 · May 2014

Dear Headache,

Please go away. Lasting weeks on end is getting ridiculous. Going from a cold to sinus infection to what the doctor claims is a tension headache is relentless. I need my head back.

Thanks, but leave now!

1linedrawing · May 2014

golfergirl08 said:

Dear roof workers that were supposed to be done last week,

You know what's fun? A baby that was up every 2 hours last night, and was finally in a deep sleep, only to be woken up by you playing basketball up there or whatever the hell you are doing at 7 AM. Yeah, that's fun. Even more fun is when I go to drop her off at day care, and your truck is blocking my car port when I get back. Did I mention you were supposed to be done LAST WEEK? GTFO.

Angry resident that wonders why construction projects are never completed on time and that pays way too much for her mortgage and HOA to put up with this shit

Because the higher ups are unorganized.
The roofers are just the lowly foot soldiers are the building companies.

But! They need to move their truck. Not ok.

SuzyQq02 · May 2014

Dear right boob,

You need to get with the program on this transition to mostly pumping. Left boob has gotten the memo and continues to outshine you in the production department as always, but your efforts these last two days have been truly pitiful.

No love,

Paranoid about my slipping milk production

cattuccino · May 2014

Dear Zoey,
You slept for 10 hours.
And you've been napping for an hour already.
Mommy is bored.
Wake up soon? It's nice out and I want to go for a walk!

Hugs and kisses! Hope you're having sweet dreams!

Love, Mommy

PS. I'm trying to convince myself your bizarre sleeping is a fluke and you're just tired from the cottage...but don't tease me too much, I can get used to sleeping 7 hours at night too quickly...

C12H22O11 · May 2014

SuzyQq02 said:
Dear right boob,
You need to get with the program on this transition to mostly pumping. Left boob has gotten the memo and continues to outshine you in the production department as always, but your efforts these last two days have been truly pitiful.
No love,
Paranoid about my slipping milk production

My right boob has always been the star performer! Funny how one side always seems to be more responsive!

1linedrawing · May 2014

Dear TB,
Please don't get all strict and make us switch to social groups. I don't want to have to see shit like this everyday.

1linedrawing · May 2014

Attachments are hard.

spicysurro · May 2014

Dear CT Scan Nurses,

You deserve a TP for telling me last week that it would be okay to breastfeed, until yesterday when you told me I had to pump and dump for 24 hours....luckily I had an emergency pumped stash in the freezer I was able to feed Ava with but seriously you might want to get your facts straight so moms don't have to worry the day of the procedure

C12H22O11 · May 2014

CD7211 said:

Dear CT Scan Nurses,
You deserve a TP for telling me last week that it would be okay to breastfeed, until yesterday when you told me I had to pump and dump for 24 hours....luckily I had an emergency pumped stash in the freezer I was able to feed Ava with but seriously you might want to get your facts straight so moms don't have to worry the day of the procedure

spicysurro · May 2014

KatyBriggs said:

@CD7211‌ you should call the radiology department back, ask to speak with the imaging director/supervisor & let them know about it. Luckily you were prepared, but you might save someone else the surprise & headache. Usually imaging exam prep is all standardized & you shouldn't have gotten a surprise like that. Sorry on behalf of one of my colleagues!

I absolutely will and no need to apologize!

TessyMessy · May 2014

Dear Coworker who is forever trying to have a pee pee contest with me:

Maybe you should focus on your gigantic workload that you neglect on the regular instead of my special projects.

Signed,

Don't challenge me. My milk can shoot pretty far.

AngieV84 · May 2014

Dear friends and family,

Did you happen to forget that we just had two babies?
Sure, my husband will throw your bachelor party. Sure, I'll throw your bachelorette party (completely separate weddings). Sure, I'll plan a 50th birthday party and my 30th birthday party. I'll also organize a large family get together so we can take a picture with my grandpa.
Don't worry about asking to help out, we have TONS of time on our hands.

Sincerely,
Overwhelmed mama with two adorable, screaming, teething babies ;-)

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