Vbac — The Bump


Has anyone's hubby given them a hard time about a vbac telling them no and saying that it will mess their vagina up. Mine is stupid and keeps telling me this.

Re: Vbac

  • fsumomfsumom member
    Sounds pretty immature to me.  My Dh wants me to try for a VBAC if I can avoid having major surgery.  

    [Deleted User]Ardmhs83christina823
  • I'm attempting a vba2c. My DH is more nervous about the risks. He keeps asking me do I feel as if it is worth it & I try my best to assure him that it will be ok & if there are any complications I am not against a cesarean. I really want my end result to be a quick recovery & a healthy mom & LO. Some people don't understand that a CS is a major surgery. Seems like everything that our bodies does naturally isn't looked at as normal. From a vaginal birth to nursing. It makes me wonder what is going to happen to the next generation.
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  • welly01welly01 member
    My DH has expressed some concern and I think if I wanted it, he would prefer a RCS.  Honestly, I'm a little scared about "messing up" my vagina, lol!  I hear stories about 3rd and 4th degree tears and it scares the crap out of me.  

    But in the end, this is my body and it is my choice to birth how I want to.  DH will go along with me and in the end hopefully be supportive.  I'm definitely hiring a doula, who I hope will be a big help and encouragement to me.  My main motivation for a VBAC is so that I can be mentally present at my next child's birth.  There is a long stretch of time during my son's birth that I just can't remember, including the first time I held him.  I plan to do everything in my power to prevent that from happening again.

    Keep talking to your husband about your feelings and give him factual information about the risks of VBAC vs RCS.  Hopefully he will come around.  Good luck!
                                                                                              BFP #1 3/2/12, T born 11/7/12
                                                                                                 BFP #2  7/2/14, CP 7/6/14
                                 BFP #3 8/28/14, MMC 10/2/14 @ 9wks - misoprostol 10/6/14, D&C 11/3/14 for retained tissue
                                       BFP #4 12/25/14, EDD 9/7/15 - please stick baby, you are so loved and wanted!!!!!                                                                                           
                                            image  image                                                                      
  • My DH is totally supportive to me wanting a VBAC.  He would never want to me have another major operation if I can avoid it.  Your vagina is meant to deliver a baby, I'm not worried about it personally.  I'd rather have that concern than another cut into my abdomen.  

    Just keep talking to him and show him that a VBAC is safer for you with stats.      
    PPD/PPA Mom...it has been super hard, but I'm making it! Slow steps...
    Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).  
    Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!

  • Talk to your doula about ways to reduce tearing. My friend had a very minor tear - 2 stitches. No bother. Again, your body was built for this.
    Married to the love of my life since 2005
    TTC #1 - 
    BFP # 1: 5/2006 - m/c @ 6 weeks (natural) / EDD 1/17/2007
    BFP # 2: 7/2007 - chemical pregnancy / EDD 3/18/2008
    BFP # 3: 6/2013 - 7/9 u/s: No hb, measuring 2 weeks behind. Very high HCG#'s 7/21 u/s: No change, ruled out molar pregnancy. Completed Natural Missed M/C 7/26/2013 / EDD 2/5/2014
    TTA with Diaphragm. 
    I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference. - Ernest Hemingway 

    Licensed foster family. No current placements. Open to adoption but that is not our goal and as such we don't have dual foster/adopt home study.
    2012-2013: Former Foster Mommy to 1 bubbly little 8 y.o. girl that has moved onto an amazing adoptive home.

  • My hubby is the one that asked about VBAC with this pregnancy. I was already thinking about it but was surprised when he brought it up. He really doesn't want me to have to go through another c section. I had a difficult recovery and it was hard on both of us. I'm glad he's very supportive of the VBAC plan!

    Married 8.1.2010
    DD #1: Arrived 10.7.2011
    TTC #2 Since March 2013
    BFP 5.20.2013, EDD 1.26.2014, natural mc @ 5 wks 5.25.2013
    BFP 6.21.2013, EDD 3.14.2014, Twins - missed mc @ 7w6d, D&C 8.6.2013
    BFP 10.7.2013, EDD June 20 2014 - It's a GIRL!   

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • emilyh107 said:
    I am hoping for a VBAC and he just doesn't want me to get my hopes up, but he is all for us trying to go that route. The vagina getting messed up statement is pretty stupid...
    My husband was the same way before my first VBAC, especially once I went past my due date; he kept trying to reconcile me to the probability that I would be having a c-section. And I definitely agree with the bolded; I would tell my husband to go to hell if he used that as a reason for me to have major surgery.
  • WOW THAT'S HORRIBLE. No my fiance hasn't told me any messed up bull like that. He saw all the pain and suffering I went through healing and recovering from my c-section and he said he would never want to see me go through that again. He supports my vbac 100% and has made no comment on my coochee. He's just as nervous as I am about the risk and we talk about them together all the time. But in the end the vbac is what we feel is best.
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