f/u to post op appt (losses mentioned)

southernbelle82 · May 2014

Recap...I'm new, we just lost our 3rd baby on May 8th, this time to an ectopic pregnancy. My tube ruptured and it was removed. I had already lost my left tube & left ovary back in September and had two losses last summer. All I have left is my right ovary. Had my post op appt for my ectopic last week and was anxious to see if my OB thought IVF is an option.

My OB said IVF is definitely an option for me. I was scared after everything that's happened, she was going to say I couldn't do it. She referred me to an amazing fertility doctor and I have an appt in June just to meet with him and talk to a real professional vs. google. DH isn't 100% on board considering IVF. He thinks we should just be done. On one hand I kind of agree. I cannot imagine going through IVF and having it fail or worse...losing another baby. On the other hand...what if it worked? What if we didn't lose the baby? I feel like if we can work out the finances, then we should try it.

How did you come to the decision to go ahead with IVF? How are the success rates? I'm so nervous about the appt...I started crying tonight just thinking about it.

efhoping2010 · May 2014

Hello, I am sorry for your losses. For us, IVF was our only option for biological children due to DH's dx. Now I have my own infertility issues too. This is a very supportive board and quite a few of us have experience with IVF. As for success rates each clinic is different and things such as age and dx also make a difference. You can look at SART scores online for the various IVF clinics by state. Just remember scores are important but not the entire picture.

Momarazzi007 · May 2014

Our only option too. I went in a a total naive and thought IUI... but no, severe MFI so only IVF w ICSI only hope for any children. We were told bc of our fertility situation we were at like a 60% success rate, but in reality, we have one wonderful take home baby girl and that is after two fresh and three frozen cycles, an ectopic and lost twin. Doctors count the implanted babies as pregnancies and I do too, but if you look at success as the children you take home and keep I am 1 in 9 embryo babies. That is about a 10% success. NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME. I had a high amount of stress during first year of IVF, and that takes its toll. I also do not do well w anesthesia and I believe that the additional stress it puts on my body makes fresh cycles more likely to fail (I vomit and have bad reactions to it for days, just starting to feel better by 5 day transfer, not a good week...). SO If you look at my three FETs, one I was in the middle of losing job, the next one took w twins and had just gotten a new job and promotion and was working out again and life was cherries. The last FET was a single embryo transfer and less likely than a double embryo transfer to take anyway. SO- all that to say a lot can go wrong. ANd the money issue sucks. REALLY SUCKS. But what I have w my daughter? A lot can go right! I'd do every loss all over again to have her- and I know that as we keep going, we will have the next one and it will all be worth it again. This is our only shot and the shots and hormones and sick, I think it is worth it to try if that is everything you want. Donor sperm was an option, but it really wasn't knowing we could have our own if we did the IVF w ICSI, and I wanted his babies. I think depending on DX and both of your feelings, you just have to decide what you can live with and without. That is a hard decision! (Hugs)

Clagore · May 2014

I don't have experience with IVF but just wanted to say that I'm glad you got the good news that it is an option. Good luck with your appointment and any decision making that will happen.

Jodee37 · May 2014

I am happy to hear they think you still have an option, that is a HUGE step. We are sort of in similar boats (i have 1 tube, and it's blocked, and have had multiple losses) and we are debating IVF as well. @momarazzi007 made a good point, everyone is different. just like every pg is different. i think you and DH have to really think about all the options. are you both determined to have another child no matter what? (for us, the desire for another is the driving factor, no matter how much it costs). are you prepared to do it all and it might still not work? that is a big one i am struggling with. there is no certainty in any of this, the stakes are high. you just have to decide what matters most. it sucks to be in these spots, having to make these tough decisions. talk it out. make a list of pros and cons. we are here for you! and no matter what, the decision you do end up making is the right one for you guys.

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f/u to post op appt (losses mentioned)

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