Big Decision! To SAH or not??

wmarley · May 2014

I went back to work at 3 months pp b/c I wanted to give it a chance and see if it would work for our family. After doing the calculations, even with paying for daycare, gas to and from work, lunches out, etc. I still bring in a good amount of money and we would be taking a hit if I quit. That being said, my husband is a small business owner and makes enough that we would be comfortable if I SAH. Now I am so ready to quit and be a SAHM (I would actually be doing some part time work for my H). I have never felt fulfilled in my career and knowing I'm spending this time away from LO makes it worse. Our problem is, we are looking to move to a new house soon. I was going to wait until after we move before I quit my job but we aren't finding anything we like and aren't ready yet. I also don't want to rush into the next house just because I want to quit.

To anyone who works at a bank, real estate agents or knows about home loans- I know it is difficult for a small business owner to get a home loan. Is it nearly impossible? He would easily be able to make the payments but I think it has something to do with the fact that small businesses are thought to be unstable? We don't want to keep putting this off forever but I also don't want to quit and cause us to never be able to leave our current house.

Advice about the realities of a SAHM/Part time work from home Moms, home loans, quitting job to SAH would be MUCH appreciated!!

Pic for your time

notkateanymore · May 2014

What kind of small business? Does he have a slow period ever? Would you still be ok? What happens to your income if he can't work? Can you renter your industry easily if you needed to?

wmarley · May 2014

@KateMW It's a motorcycle dealership, he owns it with his Dad and they've been in business for 30 years. It's doing extremely well and they are very stable, so hopefully that would be taken into account. The business fluctuates throughout the year (Jan- June is BUSY, July- Dec is slower). He does get paid a salary so he has a W2. Would that help? My H is really really great with money and has always handled the finances- however there is always a risk so if I did have to go back to work I don't know how easy it would be. It would probably take some time to get back into it but hopefully the connections I've made over the years would help.

notkateanymore · May 2014

Who is your insurance through? Make sure to factor that in if you have to purchase it and also retirement savings, etc. Sounds like his job is pretty stable but I'm a nervous person!

wmarley · May 2014

@KateMW insurance for me and LO is through my company and H's is private. I've already priced out a comparable private insurance plan though. It is more expensive but we have taken it into consideration.

I looked online and found that a spouse's change of employment does qualify as a life qualifying event and we would be able to change H's plan outside of open enrollment but can anyone confirm?

@Nichole10 that is a really good idea. We have lenders we were about to go through the pre-approval process with and I wasn't sure if they would do both. I'll have to try it and see what we get approved for with each.

Also we've been living off his salary for the past 9 months in that he has been paying mortgage and utilities while I pay groceries and incidentals. If I did quit, my part time work for him would continue to cover groceries and incidentals.

Does anyone work part time from home and have advice? I'm so nervous!!

stacers33 · May 2014

TShea721 said:
I personally would wait until I had my house in order and would live on JUST his salary for a few months. Then you'll have a buffer from your money that was put into savings. We made the decision for me to sah last minute but I nanny in the evenings now for extra "fun" cash, and to keep my resume up to date. Could you pick up a part time job with LO if needed?

This. Once you are used to two incomes it can be hard to go back to one. I would see how you do on one income for a couple months, saving the other and be rigid about it. It's a trial run with a safety net...

lp0 · May 2014

I agree with @Risalyn222‌. It is beyond amazing being a SAHM but it can be challenging sitting home all day waiting on DH to get home. Especially is the kids are being difficult and the hours are dragging. It won't be bad with just one baby because you could pretty much come and go as you want (at least when the weather is nice) but it's near impossible to get out with multiple kiddos if they are all young.

I do part time bookkeeping from home and that is also challenging with kids. They want attention or need something and don't care if you are in the middle of something.

With all that being said I wouldn't change it for the world.

golfingdarwinfish · May 2014

I would just advise that your mortgage/tax/household maintenance are projected off his income alone and that you now begin assuming you are not directly contributing to those figures. Applying for a mortgage with both incomes you may find yourselves wanting to purchase in the higher end of your range, but since you know once of those incomes will be removed you should probably look a bit lower within the range, especially if his business is somewhat seasonal and somewhat influenced by overall economic factors/ discretionary spending of his clients.

JillSandm · May 2014

I worked for a year after our first child was born, since I had the better-paying job. After a year, we decided to take the plunge for me to stay home. DH got a different job, and has since gotten another degree and switched occupations.

I've been home for 12 years now and love it. However, you will find yourself needing some outlet for adult conversion. Look for play groups, start a card club, have friends over more, etc. Sometimes we leave the house and just go hang out in DH's office for a bit while he works, and sometimes we take lunch and spend that hour together.

Good luck with your decision!

wmarley · May 2014

Such great advice, thanks ladies. It seems like common sense, but I wouldn't have thought about how multiple children make it difficult to get out of the house.

azmama20 · May 2014

Since he has a W-2 it should be "better" for you to get approved for the home loan. I would wait to quit until you get settled in your new home though first. Moving is expensive! After a couple of months in your new home I would then quit or find something part time so long as you can still afford it. Best of luck to you!

n8swife · May 2014

I'm making lunch so I haven't read the other comments. If he's self employed, he'll need to own the company for at least 2 years before a mtg company would approve him. Also, if you're planning on quitting your job now or in the future, I wouldn't look for a house with your income in consideration.

wmarley · May 2014

Yeah we are definitely only looking at houses we could afford with just H's salary. Now I think we'll try to get pre-approved with both options to see what happens.

eccoogan · May 2014

I just quit my job (I'm a sped teacher) and it was a tough decision but I'm glad I did. We are lucky enough to be able to make things work financially with just one salary for a few years and I am going to take advantage of that while I can. I'm excited to be able to stay home with LO and that I'll get to see many of her firsts and enjoy this time with her.
That said, it's tough being home all the time! I agree with other posters, make plans, get out, make sure you shower and do your hair, etc. I try to do at least one outing a day, even if it's just to go to the local bakery and get a cup of coffee. I HAVE noticed that ever since I stopped working, that nightly glass of wine appeals to me earlier and earlier each day...

bty19 · May 2014

TShea721 said:

eccoogan said:
I just quit my job (I'm a sped teacher) and it was a tough decision but I'm glad I did. We are lucky enough to be able to make things work financially with just one salary for a few years and I am going to take advantage of that while I can. I'm excited to be able to stay home with LO and that I'll get to see many of her firsts and enjoy this time with her.
That said, it's tough being home all the time! I agree with other posters, make plans, get out, make sure you shower and do your hair, etc. I try to do at least one outing a day, even if it's just to go to the local bakery and get a cup of coffee. I HAVE noticed that ever since I stopped working, that nightly glass of wine appeals to me earlier and earlier each day...
I'm a sped teacher turned sahm too!

I'm WAS the special education field too !

Aycul18 · May 2014

H and I just bought a house in October. We both quit our jobs in March and started working for ourselves. We have a wholesale business and a consignment store. It was harder for us to get a loan, but we got it. It would have been easier if the business was around longer, so since your H's dealership has been around 30 years, that's great to take into account... I would however stick it out at your job until after the move. I probably would, if for nothing more than a little extra cushion during the slow season :-) plus it'll be the first holiday season with LO, which means lots of gifts! LOL

Eta: originally wrote hose not house... We don't need a loan for a hose haha

Want a personalized experience?

Big Decision! To SAH or not??

Re: Big Decision! To SAH or not??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards