August 2013 Moms

Afraid to be alone?

I think E is afraid of being alone, and that is a big part of her sleep issues. She hates being left alone in a room, even if I'm in the other room taking to her. She sleeps awesome when we cosleep. But when she's in her crib, it seems that she's waking up crying as she goes through each sleep cycle.

Anyone else deal with this? I've tried to leave her to play alone often in hopes that she feels more comfortable but it doesn't seem to be helping.

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Re: Afraid to be alone?

  • Yes! However I don't have any helpful advice, sorry! L likes to hold my finger or have my hand on her chest while she falls asleep. She definitely likes to know I'm right there!

    I figure she'll be comfortable falling asleep by herself on her own time...

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  • According to lots of my baby info emails and books, they're at the height of separation anxiety right now, which would explain it a little.  Can you allow her solo play time while you're in the same room, just further away?  Also, a suggestion I found and worked well for us; at night can you place a shirt you've worn or blanket/stuffed animal you've slept with (for your scent) in her crib with her?  It's amazing the difference this made for us.
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  • LEMSALEMSA member
    I'll
    Hafta try that too. I think m is in te same boat. When he's in bed, he'll go crazy trying to settle down. But he'll settle and not cry. But in his crib it's like he is paralyzed w fear. All he can do is cry. It's a crapshoot wether patting him and singing will work. Mostly it won't.
  • We are in the same boat too. He's only happy co-asleeping or being held by me right now.
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  • RevezRevez member
    No advice, but I know what you're going through. We're dealing with the same things.

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  • Haven't his this with DS2 yet but we did have a period with DS1 where we could not disappear from his sight without a total screaming meltdown. This was about the time we introduced his lovey "bun buns" to nap & bed time and I think his little bunny friend helped a lot for him to hang onto & snuggle with.
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  • kwreckskwrecks member
    She sleeps with her blanket and i was hoping that would help, but I think what's happening is she wakes up, realizes that she's alone, and freaks out and starts crying. She's put herself back to sleep before so I know she can do it, but she won't if she's alone.

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  • SpeshulSpeshul member
    My doc said they are at the height of separation anxiety and clingy-ness right now as well. I sit on the floor with her until she goes somewhere else to play by herself. Then I get up and move to the couch or kitchen area. We have an open floor plan so I don't leave her view but I'm trying to slowly get further and further away.



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  • I am wondering if we are getting a touch of this....combined with the 9m sleep regression...LO normally STTN, with a morning wake up of about 8-9. Since we have moved, she has been waking up earlier and earlier in the middle of the night, then not sleeping as long in the morning. She also is waking up SCREAMING bloody murder, freaking out both DH and I since her room is right next to ours. Tonight I am actually hesitating going to bed anticipating her wake up...

    I am also noticing her crying more when I leave her....I also have an open plan, but she think I am gone forever. She also now cries when I give her to DH so I can go to work...that is heartbreaking to me
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  • We went through this. I started by getting a co sleeping crib that attached to the bed. That way he was in his own space but knew I was there. He was easily comforted by my hand, but I was able to show him it was ok to not be in the bed with me. Slowly I moved him to his crib. At first it was in the middle of the night, then we switched to after his late feeding. It takes a lot of time and we still have nights that he hates going to sleep alone but it does get better. Maybe only one night a week we have an issue now. There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Good luck
  • LEMSALEMSA member
    So I put in a shirt I've been wearing to bed the past 2 nights in w LO. He went down a little easier. So we'll see. After a week if I notice a difference, I may go all out. Sleep w his crib sheet. Get it all momma smelly. Gross? Probably.
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