Situations that stress your child out: Vacuuming

SandyClam · May 2014

I would prefer to vacuum once a day but I vacuum about once a week. My child is legitimately stressed out by the vacuum. Like level 5 meltdown every time I even open the closet that it's in. I thought that just talking to her about it each time and exposure would eventually calm her down but it's not gotten any better. I waiver back and forth about not catering to her anxieties to thinking it's not a huge deal to vacuum everyday so why add stress. I usually just spot sweep with a broom and dustpan everyday. Not a big deal but obviously the vacuum would be more effective.

studyinpink · May 2014

I would just try to keep vacuuming at whatever frequency you feel like the house needs.

E used to do this and grew out of it eventually. I think I just left it sitting in the living room for awhile.

The vacuum has the button that brings in the cord. Once she figured out how to push the button, she started playing with it and was less scared.

I Vacuum once a week but would prefer everyday. It just doesn't happen.

SandyClam · May 2014

ChickenOnSunday said:

How old is your daughter?

She's 2 1/2. I wouldn't worry so much about it but I'm afraid she has sensory issues because we have the same issue with clothes and food. But then I know that toddlers are just weird sometimes.

SandyClam · May 2014

Studyinpink said:

I would just try to keep vacuuming at whatever frequency you feel like the house needs. E used to do this and grew out of it eventually. I think I just left it sitting in the living room for awhile. The vacuum has the button that brings in the cord. Once she figured out how to push the button, she started playing with it and was less scared. I Vacuum once a week but would prefer everyday. It just doesn't happen.

I want a vacuum with a push button cord!

SandyClam · May 2014

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

I chose SS because we avoid doing those things where she will hear it really loudly. If she were NT I may be more likely to simply help her accept it, but I know that some things give her genuine anxiety and it's just not worth it.

See, that's the annoying thing. We have a play area outside that's fenced in that I can see clearly from the patio doors, so I try to vacuum right when she goes outside to play. But then she'll specifically come inside to yell and scream to turn off the vacuum.

SandyClam · May 2014

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

Isla does it too. If she is close enough, she will come back downstairs, etc to chase the vacuum and she always wants to be in the room when I dry my hair. She yells at our blender and electric knife and gets mad too or hides.

What are the food/clothing issues? Isla had food issues, but it was brief. She stuffed her mouth to get the oral sensation. Here lately, she's been really funny about her clothing as well. Her sleeves must sit at the same place on her wrists, same with the hem of her pants, and she wants to wear a cardigan sweater every. single. day. This makes summer difficult. lol

She still gets most of her calories from milk. She hates almost all food. Has a visceral response to a lot of things. One time I bought the wrong type of veggie burger and she barfed when she realized it wasn't her kind. She won't eat any fruit or vegetable.

With clothing, she will only wear T-shirts and leggings. I tried to put a tank top on her today because it's 100 degrees and she had a huge meltdown almost panic attack.

Rxmom04 · May 2014

Our DS came home with some sensory issues that have slowly resolved with work over the past few years. Not sure if he was just a funny kid or something they were doing at the orphanage contributed but at 18 months he hated the vacuum/blender/electric mixer, couldn't stand to have his fingers messy, and would only eat purée texture or crunchy without much in between. We slowly tried to introduce things and eventually he has adjusted. Our method was to vacuum with him and me or DH in the next room and when that was ok we moved to the same room and eventually he wanted to help.

The eating got better too with a lot of work though now he eats very little that has that soft purée texture.

FWIW my little brother was the same way about noises when he was young. He cried when he heard the vacuum on the floor above or below him depending on where he was in the house. The sound of shaking open a trash bag got him for a long time too. My parents pretty much did the same thing we did with DS and I'm pretty sure at 18 he's over it. I'll have to chase him down with the vacuum to check next time I see him:)

I say vacuum only when you want too, it will get better.

SandyClam · May 2014

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:
I am jealous you get her to eat veggie burgers, lol. Isla won't eat meat or vegetables. AT ALL. And I was sooooo super picky about it with her as a baby, thinking it would have a positive effect on her eating habits. Nope. She won't try new foods at all. Not even mac and cheese. She loves cheese and loves pasta, but she won't eat them together.

There's only one kind that she'll eat - MorningStar Farms basil pizza burger. It has to be that kind.

Thanks for all the advice, everyone!

Hesterlicious · May 2014

You are supposed to vacuum once a week per person and pet in the house. (According to DH) so I should be doing it 6 times a week but I only manage once or twice.

SandyClam · May 2014

Hesterlicious said:

You are supposed to vacuum once a week per person and pet in the house. (According to DH) so I should be doing it 6 times a week but I only manage once or twice.

That's a good rule of thumb. I've never heard that before. So I should vacuum 3 times a week.

Unknown · May 2014

This content has been removed.

klondikebar · May 2014

This is tough since it could be truly frightening her deep down or is a sensory reaction. It's so hard to tell what's going on in a toddler's mind. Can you get her some of those noise reduction headphones? What about declaring vacuuming as dance party time and blast music in her room with her door shut? I don't know.

I was deathly afraid of my grandma's thermostat when I was a child. I would panic at the sight of it in her family room. She actually crocheted a cover for it to put on when I visited. I'm no longer afraid of thermostats. Fun anecdote with no point.

MamatoA2010 · May 2014

Forget vacuuming... my DD is petrified of bugs (and not big scary bugs, but harmless tiny ants)

SandyClam · May 2014

MrsButt said:

Have you thought about getting her own play vacuum? Maybe if she could vacuum with you she might be more relaxed about it. I'm not sure that's a great suggestion. I hope she gets more comfortable with it soon!

So, I got her a play vacuum and she broke it and calls it a rocket ship and runs screaming around the house with the handle saying, "I'VE GOT A ROCKET SHIP!!"

@KlondikeBar, I love that your grandma crocheted a cover for her thermostat. That's hysterical.

studyinpink · May 2014

That is creepy

SandyClam · May 2014

-auntie- said:

SandyClam said:

ChickenOnSunday said:

How old is your daughter?

She's 2 1/2. I wouldn't worry so much about it but I'm afraid she has sensory issues because we have the same issue with clothes and food. But then I know that toddlers are just weird sometimes.

What's her pedi say?

She could have sensory issues. But it could be what started as a sensory issue has morphed into an anxiety driven behavior- if she's demanding you turn it off if she's outside it's a behavior probably not pure sensory.

I'd consider a desensitization plan because this could bite her if she doesn't out grow it. Some don't. For some the perceived threat becomes greater with time and better cognition. It could spread to other things you can't control like emergency sirens or automatic flushers/hand dryers. It could imapct her life if she fears them in other places- my godchild went through a phase where she was freaked by thunder- she got to the point where she wouldn't leave the house if it was cloudy.

DS was freaked by our sump pump. No way in hell I would deactivate that, so we worked to get him used the idea. We read about them. on line and in DIY home repair books. We looked at models in the Home Depot. We visited out sump pump on a dry day and after about 6 weeks DS got to the point where he was brave enough to dump a bucket of water and turn the automatic pump on.

I've brought up my concern about her eating habits every time we go to the pedi and he doesn't care because she's growing and developing well. And he seems to think that her sensory issues are normal toddler behavior. It's reassuring but then I still worry.

SandyClam · May 2014

piffle42 said:

omg I actually saw one of these vacuum covers somewhere once. I think it's the solution!

I had a bunny that looked just like that when I was little that a family member made me and I was obsessed with it. I had forgotten all about it until you posted this. It's so fucking creepy but man I loved that thing.

Lolapop29 · May 2014

I have no advice but I'll share with you my experience.

When ds1 was that age he would have a panic attack/melt down anytime he heard sirens from emergency vehicles. I couldn't avoid them, I felt horrible every time one went off by us. He had a hard time with a lot of loud noises but that was the only one that caused melt downs. He eventually "got over it" but he still is bothered by loud noises at 10 years old. This was so long ago, and I had no idea what sensory issues were so I never even brought it up to his doctor.

Anyways, other then covering his ears every time he flushes the toilet, he is perfectly fine. He does great at school academically and socially.

SandyClam · May 2014

piffle42 said:

I DID TOO! My grandma made them. Are we long lost cousins?!?

It's super possible. My mom had 14 brothers and sisters, so I have a very large extended family that I've never met. If you were born anywhere near IN, then we're probably related!

SandyClam · May 2014

piffle42 said:

I think we talked about this once before. A lot of my dad's family is still there. My grandma used to make the bunnies and a few other things and sell them at a flea market.

You're from around IN? I don't remember talking about this. My mom's family lives around Turkey Run State Park, if you know where that is.

MissyC979 · May 2014

DS1 is really bothered by the vacuum. We gave him headphones to wear. DH is a musician, so we have several professional-quality ones around the house. He just grabs his headphones when I need to vacuum. It sort of avoids the issue, but works for us. Maybe see if giving your child headphones or a hat to muffle the noise a little could work?

TiffanyBerry · May 2014

1) Consider having your kid evaled for sensory processing stuff. If you think there's an issue, it's worth the check.

2) Even if you don't think she qualifies as "SPD", you may find using many of the SPD techniques for her. There are a number of books on the subject, and you may find some insight and useful tips in them. Even if she's not "officially SPD", almost everyone has sensory issues in some situations that present a stressor (noise sensitive, light sensitive, texture sensitive, needing sensory input or needing to not have any... etc.), and knowing a bit more about it may help.

3) Headphones - hearing protection headphones. We have these for my daughter and have used them in public bathrooms (she freaks about the flushing), airplanes, around the house with the blender/vacuum/power tools/etc. They're wonderful and give her some sense of control over the situation.

Also, who the heck has time to vacuum their house EVERY SINGLE DAY! Good lord! It takes me an hour to get my whole house vacuumed, and it's not all carpet. But all those doors to vacuum behind, and the little crevices with the special attachments... Oh heck no, not around here.

SandyClam · May 2014

TiffanyBerry said:

1) Consider having your kid evaled for sensory processing stuff. If you think there's an issue, it's worth the check.
2) Even if you don't think she qualifies as "SPD", you may find using many of the SPD techniques for her. There are a number of books on the subject, and you may find some insight and useful tips in them. Even if she's not "officially SPD", almost everyone has sensory issues in some situations that present a stressor (noise sensitive, light sensitive, texture sensitive, needing sensory input or needing to not have any... etc.), and knowing a bit more about it may help.
3) Headphones - hearing protection headphones. We have these for my daughter and have used them in public bathrooms (she freaks about the flushing), airplanes, around the house with the blender/vacuum/power tools/etc. They're wonderful and give her some sense of control over the situation.

Also, who the heck has time to vacuum their house EVERY SINGLE DAY! Good lord! It takes me an hour to get my whole house vacuumed, and it's not all carpet. But all those doors to vacuum behind, and the little crevices with the special attachments... Oh heck no, not around here.

We just have these stupid cream carpets that look super dirty all the time unless I vacuum them. And you must have a bigger house than me or are much better about getting every spot because no way I would vacuum every day if it took me an hour!

Do you have any suggestions on SPD books, ones that you have found helpful?

TiffanyBerry · May 2014

Well, we do have a fair amount of floor space to vacuum, but we also have a lot of stuff that has to be moved (chairs, for instance, and the kiddo's little table, and tables to vacuum under, and I'm not exactly efficient.

Raising a Sensory Smart Child and The Out of Sync Child are the books that were recommended to me (but haven't gotten to read a lot of yet).

I also follow the https://www.facebook.com/sensoryprocessingdisorderparentsupport?fref=nf group on Facebook.

SandyClam · May 2014

TiffanyBerry said:

Well, we do have a fair amount of floor space to vacuum, but we also have a lot of stuff that has to be moved (chairs, for instance, and the kiddo's little table, and tables to vacuum under, and I'm not exactly efficient.

Raising a Sensory Smart Child and The Out of Sync Child are the books that were recommended to me (but haven't gotten to read a lot of yet).

I also follow the https://www.facebook.com/sensoryprocessingdisorderparentsupport?fref=nf group on Facebook.

I just had the sample of the first one sent to my Kindle. Thanks for the suggestions!

NotSharknado · May 2014

I didn't read all of the responses so sorry if this is a repeat.

Soph was scared of the vacuum until I bought her a Minnie Mouse toy vacuum. Since then she's cool about it, cept her pretend vacuuming gets in the way of my real vacuuming.

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