How to handle twins when they both cry?

Jamie718 · May 2014

I'm more of a lurker, but I had my twin girls a month ago. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be, but I do struggle when they both cry and need me at the same time. I have the my brest friend pillow so I can feed them at the same time, but other times when they cry and both want to be held I feel so guilty because I can't hold them both very well. I feel like all I do is feed them and rotate them between the swing and rock n plays. I know it's normal and it's all about surviving at this point, but do you guys have any advice? Sometimes I hold one and put one in the boppy right next to me, but they still scream the whole time

LittleLady77 · May 2014

I just asked this question in the "double meltdown?" Post below. There are some great answers there. Good luck momma.

ballygirl · May 2014

I remember posting the same question about 5 months ago. Those first few months are so tough and its really hard when you are alone with them. I can't tell you how many times I ended up just crying on the couch along with my twins because I just couldn't calm them by myself. Its totally normal and its excruciating but it will get easier.

If the crying is really getting to you, try some earplugs or headphones with relaxing music, something to block out the crying a little bit. I started getting pretty severe anxiety attacks during the double meltdowns when I was alone and it is even harder to calm down a baby if you are anxious and upset yourself. You can certainly still hear the crying with earplugs in but it takes the edge off a little bit and helped me keep myself calm while trying to calm my babies.

Mama-Bear · May 2014

When it's not just snuggles, you have to decide who needs you more.

LegallyBlonde217 · May 2014

At that age, I assessed them based on their cries and decided which one needed me the most. Then I'd soothe that one first. Then I'd soothe the other if it was still necessary.

I used to sit at home in tears during double meltdowns. My anxiety got horrible. So horrible. I eventually got somewhat used to it. Now I'm somewhat numb to them both crying. And it's much easier now to tell which one needs me most.

Labyrinth3000 · May 2014

It's hard but with twins you just have to choose one and let the other cry a bit. I've also become a bit numb to crying. As long as the baby is ok then a little crying never hurt anyone. My Mom was horrified when she watched how I started heating bottles and calmly downed a sandwich while the girls screamed. "How can you let them cry like that." Well I was hungry and I knew I had about ten minutes until two bottles were heated. The only thing that will get them to stop crying is the bottles which I can't provide right away so why stress? Bouncing them around and singing songs won't make the screaming any less piercing so I just tune it out until the bottle warmer dings.

twinmom1121 · May 2014

Like all the other pp said its figuring out which one needs you more at the moment. Sometimes one baby (or both) just need to cry for a min. It's definitely stressful sometimes but you get really used to the crying after a while! Sometimes I feel like I neglect the happy one when the fussy one constantly needs me but that's what you have to do sometimes! They will learn patience real fast I think! Good luck!!

Wishing35 · May 2014

When they were very little I would pick up the one who was screaming harder and use my foot to bounce the other in his bouncy seat. I would sing to them , or even just put them in the stroller and push them in the backyard!

Jamie718 · May 2014

Ok thanks for the advice

I've realized over the past few days that sometimes they just have to cry and it's going to happen often so I better get used to it, but it's still hard.

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