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Thoughts?

algalphysalgalphys member
in Parenting
So my parents are divorced, my dad lives in a small town (1000 people)and is remarried, he was also a bit of a man whore so I have half siblings, step siblings etc.

So I get to see all of my extended siblings and their families once a year if I'm lucky. We are all planning to head to my dads in august after not getting together since 2012. Last week an invite for a " party" came in the mail for my cousins kids new baby. Basically says we are having a cash bar party to raise funds so my cousins kid and new baby can go to the Ukraine to meet his wife's family, don't bring gifts we have everything we need for baby so just give us money to find out Ukraine trip.

I think it's tacky but whatevs seems like small towns do this sort of thing on the regular. What pisses me off is that I'm sure my step mom encouraged them to plan this while we are out there. I rarely get to see my siblings and now I have to go to a party with a bunch of strangers and not get to visit with my siblings...I'm irritated. I'll go and probably get drunk as fuck cause I'll have built in babysitters and it's walking distance to my dads but still bothered that I can't have a relaxing visit with my sibs...

What do you guys think?
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Re: Thoughts?

  • jesuisfatigueejesuisfatiguee member
    Surely you won't be visiting for a single afternoon, right? Also, just because you go to this party to show your support or whatever doesn't mean you have to stay the entire duration. It may be kind of annoying to feel obligated to go, but I don't think it's that big of a deal.



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  • algalphysalgalphys member
    To be honest...I have no idea if my half siblings are invited. I can see that I may be overthinking this. The party starts at 2 at a church (I'm assuming baptism), then there is supper, speeches and a dance. Like a wedding but not.

    It's just irritating that when I rarely see my siblings (mostly due to geography) that I now have an all day event to attend. No it's not the only day I have to spend with them but it's one of three days I'll see them for possibly 3 years.

    But I'll shut my trap since me bitching isn't going to change anything...
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  • jesuisfatigueejesuisfatiguee member
    Can't you just send a check and say, "Sorry, I have to spend this time with my sibs"? 



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  • ILoveBoysILoveBoys member
    You have a few options:
    A) go and play nice
    B) send a check and say you have a prior commitment
    C) make plans with your siblings on a more regular basis, outside of the whole group being together. (Skype, etc)
    Blake 04/29/05 Will 06/12/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • algalphysalgalphys member
    Well I can see that I didn't come across like I had intended and yes I do seem like a selfish twat.

    Maybe it is misplaced anger at a few things...I do find the whole give us money so we can go on a trip thing tacky and there are some hurt feelings where my dad is concerned.

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  • theimpossibleastronauttheimpossibleastronaut member
    edited May 2014
    Edited: I was going to say that I'd want to decline too on that situation, but I know family dynamics don't work that way. Can't you go for part of it and duck out later to go spend time with your siblings?
    Lilypie - (KNqh)
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  • littlemermaidlittlemermaid member
    You can make a phone call, text, email and ask if your half-siblings are going, then rsvp according to their answer.  If you choose to respond "yes" to the party you are under no obligation to give them cash.  You can give them a nice little outfit or a religious memento if it's a baptism.   I don't understand why you are saying it's a "bunch of strangers," isn't this your extended family throwing this party?  If it's your stepmother's side of the family then I'd just respond "no" and go visit your family that is not attending the party on that day or go sight seeing on that day.
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  • algalphysalgalphys member
    @littlemermaid‌ I didn't grow up with these people due to my dad not wanting to be a part of my life (see my intro for more info) so they basically are strangers, including my dad. But we will go and I'm sure it will be a good time. I gave them a diaper box full of clothes before baby came and they have indicated they don't want gifts besides money...FWIW
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