December 2013 Moms

Family Vent (BF related) and Genetics Appt Update

Update first: Little guy's genetics appointment was today. It was an hour drive, lasted two and a half hours, and an hour drive back. We answered at least 80 questions about family history, Noah's problems, etc. The geneticist ordered a DNA microarray and three metabolic tests (one is a urine... apparently they pee into a bag that is stuck to their junk with adhesive. That can't be fun.) We are waiting on the lab's questionnaire for the microarray to be filled out by the doctor before we go in to do everything. They are looking for duplications and deletions in the chromosomes, and any metabolic disorders. If those come back fine, they are going to flag and test specific genes to look for issues there. We also were referred over to GI to see if they can find anything that could cause the slow gains (his father has celiac and that can be hereditary). GI appt is in about 2 and a half weeks. The doctor is also thinking maybe metabolic because of the neuro aspect. Our next -set- appointment with the geneticist is in December. If the GI, neuro, or the test results flag anything we will be in sooner.

As for the Vent: How do you guys deal with ignorant family members? I post an update on FB to let everyone know how the appointment went, as I typically do when something big is going on. My father basically turns around and blames me for Noah's health problems. According to him, I'm suffocating him "with a 20 lb bowling ball" instead of feeding him (he's anti breastfeeding) and saying that I'm only giving him an ounce at a time.

Literally this: "No gi doctor necessary!!! Feed him and he will gain!!!! FEED HIM AND HE WILL GAIN! just because hes got a 20 pound bowling ball sitting on his face doesnt mean hes eating.....give him more than one ounce at a time!!!! FEED HIM AND HE WILL GAIN WEIGHT!!!"

This kid eats every two hours. We have done test weighs, he's gets about 6 oz each time. He's peeing and pooping at a normal rate for a BF baby. He just doesn't GAIN fast. The last two weeks have been great (7.5 oz on avg per week) but usual is 3-4 oz a week. He's getting hind milk, there is a good amount of fat when I pump. He's still in 0-3 clothes (though seems like he is finally starting to outgrow them). But I AM his biggest advocate.. I am the one that pushes the doctors to figure out what is going on, I am the one hauling him for weekly weight checks, I am the one who found the LC to help us figure out why he stopped gaining early on, I am the one who took him to get his TT lasered (which led to him gaining again). I am the one who is watching this boy struggle and doing everything I can to get him all the help he needs and pushing to find out WHY this is happening. To insinuate that formula would fix everything and that I'm not good enough is BS. I know this boy more than anyone.

I don't know if he's trying to joke and just failing horrible, or if he's just being a jerk. My uncle and my stepmother liked his comment.

This is my response: "
Dad that's kind of mean. He is eating. He is eating as much as Isabelle did at this age, as verified by test weighs. The only difference is that what he is eating is healthier, doesn't contain phytoestrogens from soy, and boosts his immune system and brain development. And If you were listening to him during a feeding, you'd have no doubt that he's eating because he literally gulps for the first few minutes. The concern is that he is high risk for celiac disease which would cause problems with weight gain. It is a legitimate concern, just like the tongue tie was."

I feel like I need to be harsher, because he seriously upset me. How would you guys respond to this? This isn't the first time he's made the bowling ball comment, or the first time he insinuated that he wasn't eating enough.

Sorry so long. Here's a photo to make it worth your while.
NOPE.

Re: Family Vent (BF related) and Genetics Appt Update

  • Also, allow me to add: I am not bashing FF moms. My oldest was FF exclusively after a couple months. She developed allergies related t her formula and ended up in the ER several times with some pretty severe issues. Thats why I fought so hard to not FF with Noah. He was higher risk to have similar problems and I didnt want him to go through all the problems she had.
    NOPE.
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  • ameegeeameegee member
    No advice. But he sounds like an ass. That would piss me off.
  • jy725jy725 member
    I hope you get some answers soon. Noah is such a cutie!
    What your Dad said is extremely rude and offensive. Your response is good. There may be no winning him over though. Just stick to your guns and provide the facts. Stay strong!
  • I would honestly cut him out of my life for a long while.

    I am sorry you have to deal with this!!
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    Sebastian: March 3, 2010

    2nd Tri Angel Baby: November 2012

    McKenna: December 2, 2013




  • What @loolaide said.
    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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  • @Loolaide‌ is wise

    Andplusalso your father, uncle, and step mother are all ignorant asses!

    ~*~*~You're Such A Pretty Melody, I'm Just Another Tattooed Tragedy~*~*~
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  • I am so sorry that you're dealing with that ignorance in addition to your worries. I agree with the other ladies; you don't need that negativity in your life. Hugs to you and your family, and I hope you get answers sooner than later. You are a great mom and advocate!
  • Wow! You were very nice, I think I would've flipped out if my dad said something that rude to me, esp on FB where everyone can see. That was extremely shitty of him to say, esp when you are trying so hard for this little boy. I would probably delete the comments & talk to him in person, & I would definitely express a little more anger about what he said - it is just not ok for him to treat you that way!
  • Also I agree with PPs that if he didn't apologize & change his ways, I would be leaving him out of any updates in the future. You need support, not more stress.
  • mh89mh89 member
    I agree with all of the above, what a messed up thing to say to his daughter. You're doing the right thing, don't let him get you down and definitely tell him to stfu if he can't be supportive of your parenting choices. 
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  • Wow! So sorry you are going through all of this and having to deal with ignorant family members. If I were you I'd cut my dad out of my life for a good long while until he wises up. I'd also delete him and anyone who 'liked' the comment. You don't need that negativity in your life.

    As far as Noah's eating habits, I hope you find what works for him and helps him gain appropriately, whether that be breast milk or formula.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • *hugs* you are doing such a great job caring for your son (and daughter)!! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that from your own family. Hope you get some helpful answers soon
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