Friendships with kids roughly the same age as yours...

Duffgurl · May 2014

If you have any friends with children roughly the same age as yours. Have you ever had a bad experience with their toddler or your toddler bullying? Did you or your friend end your relationship? How do you handle the situation?

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · May 2014

We do. It's never come to what you're describing, but yes, it can be rough to maintain a friendship when the kids don't get along. We just try to make the best of it and keep in mind that seeing those friends will not result in a playdate but rather each kid playing in their corner (or trying to climb all over their parents

)

melissa0726 · May 2014

Luckily, we haven't had any issues like that with our friends.

However, I will say that there are a couple kids of members of my moms club who can be....let's just say they are difficult to be around. They are a little older (4 and 5) and not that nice to the littler ones. I like their moms a lot, though.

In this case, I focus on my relationship with the mom, and not try to force a play date with the kids. We will hang out in a big group play date, or at moms night out (no kid) events, but I don't pursue one-on-one play dates with them.

JaysonandKristin · May 2014

At 2.5 I can't say I have ever witnessed bullying. Poor behavior, sure. I have had conversations with friends about things their children are doing, but if their child isn't constantly posing a threat to my child's safety, I will deal with the kids myself (mine and others' children). If they have a problem with that, they can speak up.

melissa0726 · May 2014

JaysonandKristin said:

At 2.5 I can't say I have ever witnessed bullying. Poor behavior, sure. I have had conversations with friends about things their children are doing, but if their child isn't constantly posing a threat to my child's safety, I will deal with the kids myself (mine and others' children). If they have a problem with that, they can speak up.

I do have to agree with this. At this age, I think all of the parents I hang out with have the "kids will be kids" mentality, and none of us expect the kids to be on their best behavior at all times. Most conflicts I see are just the kids struggling to figure out sharing, taking turns, etc. I have never seen a 2.5 year old be deliberately mean to another kid, on purpose, repeatedly, which is what I would identify with the term bullying.

Duffgurl · May 2014

I agree with you all ladies. I think some people have their own personal issues and sometimes it reflects on their children. We had some friends with a son a couple months older than ours. They came over one time and our son was very playful with theirs and he was lifting his hair and letting it fall back to place (not pulling his hair) well I guess our friend thought our son was bullying their son. I got a text basically saying they did not feel safe with our son. I have never felt more upset as well as my husband. I know our son is not a perfect Little Angel but he has never harmed any child. We are not the type of parents to let our child do whatever he pleases. We decided to respond to them our points and views as well as end our friendship with then. I just think it was so wrong to make statements that They where fearful of our 2 1/2 yr old. I mean really people? Of course it hurts to let people go that you care about but my child is far more important than anyone else.

I guess I wanted to hear everyone's views. Thanks for all your comments.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · May 2014

They got upset over that? And they couldn't speak up when it actually happened and had to text you instead? Wow.

MrsCase1 · May 2014

Do people not even know what the definition of "bully" is? I have never even met a 2.5 y.o. capable of bullying.

The texting thing is ridiculous. Speak up at the time while wearing your grown-up pants, don't send a text! Be glad you're rid of weirdos like that!

For what it is worth, my son and my friend's kids all take turns whomping on one another and we pretty much let them figure it out themselves unless it is a REAL issue.

BlueJewelM · May 2014

I'm a total lurker, but I'm appalled that they didn't address the behavior they were upset with while they were over. To send it in a text later is very cowardly.

I would definitely end the friendship over that. I would probably spend ever time we hung out after agonizing over what might go wrong and waiting for a text after...so I'd rather cut my ties now.

If it were me I would simply text back saying "I'm sorry you weren't comfortable enough to address this to me when it happened. Because of that, I agree that we should probably not hang out again. Take care".

SharonB222 · January 2015

If someone thinks some hair-lifting is unforgivably offensive, that goes into cray-cray for me. If my DD was upset about someone in her space, I would asses the situation with her and coach her - I would then choose to meet or not - no funky text message necessary. If a friend sent me that crazy text message and would apologize for any unintended offense and bid them farewell - as I appreciate tolerant, kindly communicative people in my life. Good luck!

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Friendships with kids roughly the same age as yours...

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